Garter toss

Re: Garter toss

• melissa<3bryan member

  

  August 2009

  I've only been to three weddings in my life. Only to two receptions and I've never seen this done. We're probably not going to do it. It doesn't matter. I've heard about brides giving their bouquet away to older relatives. Or people who are attending the wedding that have been married the longest.

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• handfast4me member

  

  August 2009

  The origin of this custom, and the symoblism of it are hideous, so I declined to do it at either of my weddings.  There is no law that says you have to do the garter toss.  I like the idea of giving away the bouquet to the oldest lady there, for example.  You could do something similar for the oldest gentleman there, like, oh, a flask--not necessarily giving him the garter.  Because I had so many gay couples at my first wedding, I declined to give the bouquet to the longest married couple, because that would have excluded my same gender friends.  Just a thought. 

  Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.

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• jenkfalk330 member

  

  August 2009

  I'm having a VERY small destination wedding (~ 20 guests) and I had the same dilemma. Most of the guests are married and I would feel bad singling out the two who aren't. I love that these days you can basically pick and choose the traditions you want to incorporate into your wedding. So, I'm going to wear a garter, but not do the toss. The garter I got has a little charm on it that will remind my fiance of the day we met, so it's really just for him and not anyone else. If it would make your fiance uncomfortable and it's not important to you, just skip it. Most people probably won't even notice and if they do, it's easy to just say you decided not to do it since there aren't enough single gals. Good luck!

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• duckie1905 member

  

  August 2009

  No one would miss it if you didn't do it (or probably even notice it wasn't there).  I wouldn't do anything in its place, just leave the whole thing out.

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• ffmaid

  

  August 2009

  Skip both nobody will notice or be sad that they are not there and you will save humiliatibng your sis as the only unmarried woman there

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• laurening

  

  August 2009

  The garter toss especially has gone out of style. I've gone to a LOT of weddings in my adult life and very few included the garter toss. Most of the ones I've seen were from my childhood. A lot of couples will keep the bouquet toss but skip the garter toss. But even the bouquet toss isn't as popular. I find it works best if the bride is on the younger side and has many single younger friends. Otherwise, it can be embarrassing and awkward for the few single women. If you have a lot of married couples and you know a couple has been married a long time (30+ years) you can do the anniversary dance. The DJ invites all the married couples onto the dance floor. After a few minutes of dancing, the DJ asks all couples who have been married for say, five years or less to leave the dance floor. After another few minutes, he asks all those couples married for ten years or less to leave the dance floor, and so on. Finally, you are left with the couple married the longest and they get the bouquet. With a small wedding though, you can just skip both tosses though.

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• AprilWed2010

  

  September 2009

  Sorry if this is a little late but please be careful with the anniversary dance. It is a very sweet idea but if there was a recent death in the family it could be a painful reminder for the deceased's widow... especially if he/she would have ended up being the recipient.

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