Not sure if this is the right place to post this but after reading a few posts seems like everyone could help give me some advice. I have been w/my FI for 3yrs. now. He is a former drug addict & alcoholic. After meeting me & knowing I don't stand for these things he made a 180 & I am sooo proud of him for the changes he has made for himself & for our relationship. We have been through alot considering his addictions but we are in a better place now & very happy :)His Mother has always like me (she knows that the changes he has made probably would have never happened if it weren't for me coming into his life). We have always gotten along & I was excited to make her a part of our special day. The engagement was fine but after we starting planning she has turned into a CRAZY woman! We chose a place that really suited both our (my fiance' & I's) personalities but she wasn't happy w/it. She basically let us know if wasn't good enough for her or her friends & we would need to choose somehwere else (her suggestion a ballroom or country club) to suite her taste. I compromised & chose to still have our ceremony outside but w/a ballroom reception. I thought this would be a compromise & make everyone happy. Next thing you know, the outside ceremony isn good enough & she wants a church. (I'm not religious & neither is my FI) She literally cried to me holding a cross on her next telling me we need to find God in our lives & who disappointed she is that we aren't living by those standards (we are good people, we live our life how we choose together & are 100% happy w/the way we are). I was VERY offended by this, but have been taught to respect my elders & we were in her own so I listened but was very upset.She has now gone as far to insult me & MY family saying that I will not be a good wife or Mother if I dont live by the Bible or choose for God to be in my life. My parents (whow are the most laid back, kind, selfless, do anything for me or anyone else kind of ppl) are now upset taking offense that this is a reflection of them & how they brought me up & she is speaking down about them & how they've chose to raise me. (Reminder: my FI (her son) is a former drug addict & alcoholic, far from any angel for living by the Bible hmself!)My FI loves his Mother & myself dearly & doesn't want to hurt either of us but has chosen to take my side agreeeing that we like the way we live & she can keep her opinions to herself. I feel like she has crossed a personal line & has messed w/my morals & my family (who by the way are paying for the entire wedding even though the ballroom is costing more than our original venue). I feel like this will always be a problem now. She is not speaking to me & I have a few choice words I'd like to say to her (FMIL). She also wants a 40 person RD @ an upscale rest. which overlooks my ceremony spot, UGH! So everyone will see it the day before our wedding
She wants to invite all OOT guests to the dinner & doesn't care that I've asked for an intamite dinner w/immediate fam. & WP only. She now says I am making all the decisions not giving anything to her that she wants for our wedding (my parents are paying 100% of the wedding & it's MY day NOT HERS!) I have been having anxiety atacks (something I haven't had in yrs.) over all this mess. I'm sad that I've been good enough for her for the past 3yrs. but now I wont be a good wife or Mother???? I am sooo fortunate to have the parents I do who have made me the good, kind hearted, independent person I am today & that they are 100% allowing me to plan my OWN wedding trusting the good head I have on my shoulders. Just needed to vent & would like to here opinions if anyone has any. Thank you for listening.