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Wedding Etiquette Forum

Would this be horrible?

Hey everyone,

So I booked my hair and makeup people just 2 weeks ago, for my June 30th wedding! :) The salon wanted to know how many girls wanted their hair+makeup done for the day, and my 4 bridesmaids all wanted it, but only if they didn't have to pay. I don't really care if their hair and makeup is done for my wedding, I would be fine with them doing it themselves, but to be nice, I said I would front the bill (I thought this was a nice thing to do for them). Flash forward to last night...it's tax time, and I just found out, due to a stock I received from my father after his passing in 2010, that I owe an INSANE amount of money (almost $10k to be exact), which is causing HUGE stress with my fiance and I. We are figuring out where to cut our expenses for our wedding so we can pay this giant tax bill, and I'm thinking since the girls' hair+makeup will come to about $1000, I would cut that. I've already told them I would pay for it though, and I don't want to be rude by telling them they can't have professional hair and makeup because of financial issues that were unforseen. 

What do you think I should do? 

Re: Would this be horrible?

  • no, not horrible... AT ALL!!  completely undersrtandable and if they truly are your greatest friends, then tell them the truth and they will completely understand. 

    i'm sorry that you're going through that right now... good luck with everything!
  • aragx6aragx6 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited April 2012

    These are your closest friends, so I would just be honest with them -- if I heard a friend had an unexpected $10,000 tax bill I would be very understanding. Let them know that you don't care if they pay this stylist, use their own, or do their own hair, but that sadly you can't offer to pay for this any more.


    edit: I talk about money with most of my closest friends, but also know that others are more uncomfortable with that. If so, just be vague. You shouldn't feel as though you have to share all the details if you don't want to!

    Lizzie
  • Tell them what happened. If they're your close friends they'll understand. 
  • check with your stylist to see if it is a problem changing the # of girls.....If you signed a contract they might hold you to it.  If not, then definitely talk to your girls and let them know whats up.  I would totally understand!
  • These are your closest friends, so they should totally understand this situation. Just tell them the truth. This might just be me, but if I were a BM for a friend and this happened to them, I would feel horrible if they didn't back out of paying for my hair and makeup.
  • edited April 2012
    I don't know whether your accountant has already been over this with you, but it's possible to make an agreement with the IRS to pay large debts on an installement plan (clicky). That's not necessarily the *best* advice, since setting it up may incur extra fees. If you can basically afford to pay it, and the only downside is that your BMs go w/out professional makeup and you don't buy the monogramed napkins for the wedding, go ahead and pay. But if the financial ramifications will mean you and FI are eating beans and rice and walking around with holes in your shoes for the next year, or if paying it will wipe out your entire savings, then an installment plan might be a good idea. Again, talk with your (or an) accountant about this or other options that may make things easier.
  • It's definitely okay to let them know you can't afford to do this anymore, they should understand.  If they don't they aren't very good friends anyways.
    Anniversary
  • Ditto the advise to check with the accountant.  I just had something similar happen, but my grandmother used my SSN but ended losing money when she cashed out the stock and I don't have to pay.  The IRS can be quick to send out a bill when sometimes you may or may not have to.  Not sure your exact situation but check with an accountant.  Sorry you have to go through this. 

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