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Need Opinions - Gift Necessary?

BostonBride919BostonBride919
1000 Comments
in Registry and Gift Forum
We have two officiants for our ceremony. Officiant #1 works for the church and is the "marriage pastor" so does all of the weddings at the church. It's a very large church, so they have many pastors with different responsibilities. The church fee to have the wedding there is $3,300.Officiant #2 is my FI's godfather who is a pastor at another downtown Boston church. He will be the one officially marrying us, but Officiant #1 and #2 will switch back and forth during the ceremony as we are required to have Officiant #1 participate. We got my FI's godfather a $200 gift card to a nice steakhouse - we're not paying him a fee and want to give him something to say Thank You. Would you give a gift to Officiant #1 as well even after paying $3300 towards the church? I hadn't planned on it, but he accepted our invite to the RD which I also didn't expect and now I feel like maybe we should give him a gift as well.
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Re: Need Opinions - Gift Necessary?

  • abs99abs99 member
    10 Comments
    I probably would give a gift to Officiant #2 as well.
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  • lauralaurlauralaur member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    I don't know that I would. I would assume that he is compensated for performing weddings, whereas your fi's godfather is not. I suppose I might be wrong here, but I'm thinking you don't need to get him a gift.
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  • kat112kat112
    100 Comments
    I would not... $3,300 to get married in your church!? Holy smokes!
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  • BostonBride919BostonBride919
    1000 Comments
    Retread - I know that's usually the case, but this guy's ONLY job at the church is to marry people. He doesn't do anything else. There are 8 or 9 different pastors and he is the "marriage pastor". Does that make any difference to you as that's the only job he is being paid for? I guess I will just get a gift regardless as I don't want to not have one if I should have... What's another few hundred dollars at this point anyways? :)
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  • BostonBride919BostonBride919
    1000 Comments
    I know he is salaried - His position as the Marriage Pastor is a paid full time position. But yes, I will get him a gift card and be done with it. thanks ladies!
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  • daisiesinmaydaisiesinmay
    10 Comments
    Do you have a breakdown of where the $3300 goes? For instance, I paid $700 for my wedding, but $125 went to the pastor, $50 to janitorial, $100 to sound, $200 to church rental, and so forth. As there was a fee for church rental and a fee for pastor duties, and each item was broken down, I really did not feel like I needed to give the pastor anything extra. We did not invite him to the RD either because we don't normally go to this church and really don't have a personal relationship with this pastor. We didn't plan on giving him anything. Then again, he did such an amazing job at the wedding and we had SO MANY wonderful compliments on the job he did. When we were on our honeymoon, my mom decided to go ahead and write him a check for an additional $50. The wedding was over 3 months ago and they still haven't cashed the check. I don't know if we would have made the decision to "tip" him or not.
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  • Danser1013Danser1013
    10 Comments
    Bostonbride, can you ask the church secretary? We have asked our church secretary the things that are a little sensitive to ask our priest. HTH
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