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Am lost in thought and can't find the answer!

amberjoy86amberjoy86 member
First Comment
in Military Brides
My fiance and I got engaged Oct 2009 at his graduation from Military Basic training.  I am very happy!!!!  But at the same time I am also a indisisive person and can not make up my mind and he is getting alittle frustrated with me.  And I can't blame him.  But my issue is wanting to please everyone.  So we have narrowed the wedding down to either having a destination wedding or a local wedding.  We "decided" on a destination wedding and then my mom and aunt were not very happy with that plan.  Which made me upset because their opinion matters.  And then I started leaning towards a local wedding and again he was not very happy.  I'm just lost and I don't know how to decide.  My family is not being helpful and my fiance has kinda shut down or will say "whatever you want"   EEERRRRRRRRRR!!!!!  I'm frustrated!  Oh and to add to it he is in school but will be going on PAT so we are thinking a wedding in May 2011...hopefully.

Please help me with some advise as to what to do.
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Re: Am lost in thought and can't find the answer!

  • kyrgyzstankyrgyzstan member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    The wedding is about you and your fiance, do what you want and can afford to do. You're an adult (presumably), so what your mother and aunt want doesn't matter.
    I hate Dave Ramsey
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  • kaynix21kaynix21 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with Wish.

    It's all about you and FI. You absolutely have to worry about making the two of you happy, not everyone else. If you want to do a destination wedding, do it. Your family will come. If not, you didn't really want them there anyways if they are not willing to do that for you.

    If it's mom and aunt versus FI being happy, make FI happy!
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
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  • amberjoy86amberjoy86 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Making my Fi happy really isn't the issue he is just frustrated i can't make up my mind.  I'm torn between two places.  And I like the idea of both.  Destination in Riviera Maya or The 1000 island cruise?  they are both beautiful places and if we did a destination we could do a honeymoon as well but that would require 2 weeks off and working that out with the military (hopeful not to difficult)  but it might be better to do the local wedding and plan a honeymoon after he finishes school.  That is where I am having a problam is finding a happy balance.

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  • angelsmileangelsmile member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Your FI comes first.  It is about you two.  Unless your mom is footing the entire bill, I wouldn't include her in this decision.  Yes, they are important to you...but is it worth alienating your FI on this point? 

    Plus, if I had it to do over again I would totally have done a destination wedding.
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  • alexninaday09alexninaday09 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Getting vacation time for the military is super hard! They always say you have it but when you go to use it, it magically disappears! Me and my fiance are planning on getting married on his block leave when he returns from Iraq because thoses dates he will for sure have off. Plan your wedding around his schedule. If he has time, do a destination wedding, if not local will be your best bet! Hope everything works out!
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  • kchat393kchat393 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Getting vacation time from the military is not always hard. Depending on what branch he's in, he's likely to get a little time off right after school and before his first assignment. Do what makes you happy. Your mom wants you to be happy, I'm sure. Her and your aunt will come around if you really had your heart set on a destinatiion wedding!
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  • B-anneB-anne
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am sorry the decision to marry can be a difficult one at times.

    who is paying for the wedding?

    If your mom is paying then beggers can't be choosers although it is YOUR wedding.

    If you guys are paying, you do it when and where you want to.  Your mom may not be happy but she is your mother and I am sure she would go wherever her child were to marry.

    An alternative may be a civil ceremony for you and your FH and then you can go somewhere (destination wedding/honeymoon) with just the two of you or close friends and family.  You can always then come back and have a party or a reception locally to celebrate as you would have with one big wedding.

    Follow your heart!
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