Wedding Etiquette Forum

Opinions- Breast Feeding in Public

13

Re: Opinions- Breast Feeding in Public

  • Totally appropriate, covered or not.I don't understand why exposing yourself in public is suddenly acceptable when a child is latched on.  BFing in public is fine, but it needs to be covered up.  There are other children in public places and, IMO, seeing things like breasts is inapporiate for them at certain ages.
  • It's perfectly acceptable, covered up or not. Since I grew up in a society that shuns nudity more than violence, I will probably make attempts to cover up. If people don't like the word "natural" then I suggest replacing it with "necessary". Babies need to be fed when the are hungry it is essential to their health. Period. The comparison to other bodily functions is weak. I mean come on, you cannot seriously believe that vomitting or going to the bathroom on a starbucks chair has the same implications that BF does?!?!
  • TJ - I think of your boobs (well, not actively...okay, maybe a little bit) as working boobs. Shelf, tv remote resters. Not so much recreational, but still serving a purpose. Mine are food catchers. Also very useful :)
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  • If I see someone breastfeeding in public and she's hanging out all over the place, it makes me uncomfortable. I'm just not used to it. But I view that as my problem, not someone else's. ac, i completely agree with this. It does bother me to see it. You know what bothers me even more? The fact that something like that would bother me! I think it's something we should all work to be more accepting of. I don't know many women who WANT to bf in public. Somtimes it is necessary. I'm sure once I have kids I will understand, but in the meantime I will continue to try to be more empathetic towards women who have to "whip out a boob" in public.
  • Lpstl- that is hilarious! how rude of Cs haha I have never had a desire to BF...I wasn't, my brother wasn't, my neice was only for a couple weeks because her mom couldn't keep up, my SIL just couldn't for whatever reason....all the babies turned out fine. Maybe I will change my mind, who knows.
  • I don't think it inappropriate for any child to see someone breastfeeding...
  • Just curious Nebb, East, Lala (and others) do you hate babies as in the actual humans and their physical actions or do you hate the 'baby culture' we have created here in the west.
  • I don't think it inappropriate for any child to see someone breastfeeding...You may not.  But I don't think it's your place to tell another parent what is or is not appropriate for their child.  Because there are parents who think GTA is perfectly acceptable for a 12 year old.  There are parents who think it's ok for their kids to drink.  But I would hesitate to say that because they think that's appropriate, all children should be exposed to that.

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
  • MeaghanandMichael - I don't care for children, but I wouldn't say I "hate babies." I'm just largely uninterested in them and I do not find their shenannigans, especially in public, to be "cute" in any way. I'm not in the least bit understanding about babies crying in restaurants and stuff. Take it outside. That kind of thing.However, in addition to the fact that I personally am not very into babies and children, I also dislike the attitude that goes along with them in some cases - I HAVE BORNE A CHILD, THEREFORE YOU MUST CATER TO ME, etc.Literally, ANY two idiots can create a child. You are not the first, you are not special, nor is your child.If I ever do have a kid (and honestly, I probably will have one), I will make sure that they know that they are infinitely special to me - but that no one else in the world thinks so.
    On bed rest since Groundhog's Day and every day since has been exactly the same.
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Blog
  • Meaghan - I hate the baby culture.  I also pretty much hate most children.  I even hate most people in their early twenties and hope that when I wasn't that age, we weren't too stupid to live and too lazy to work as they seem to be these days (sorry folks.)I do like my niece and nephews, but have trouble tolerating my FI's niece and nephews and strongly suspect that once my brother's kids are out of the "OMG SO CUTE" stage, I will also hate them.For example:  I'd never actually held an infant until I was in my early 20's and had no desire to do so at that point but his Mom was warming his bottle and he was wailing so I tried to help.

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
  • I hate both, to be honest. I dont like things that are loud, I dont like things that smell bad, I dont like things that use all of my money, I dont like being tired or doing things at times I dont want to do them (are you getting the imperssion im selfish yet?). I dont like the prospect of a lack of freedom (doing whatever we want when we want), the prospect of what it would do to my body, the responsibility of not raising a total brat, the list goes on. I really do not especially like kids, I like them in extremely small doses where I dont have to be around them for long periods of times, but I dont want them at all. My husband and I are both in agreement on this.
  • Mrstarawalsh - you are right on!Any older sibling of a breastfed infant has seen breastfeeding, and I have never heard of any of them being traumatized by it.  If children understand breastfeeding is an ordinary part of life for (some) babies, they will be more comfortable with it as adults as well.
  • I like babies and kids for the most part. I freakin HATE most parents. Like 85-90%  of them. I outright LOATHE the baby culture. I have two kids. They are smart, funny and the most well-behaved kids I've ever encountered, and I speak as an adult, not as their mother. I don't tolerate misbehavior. I also never stayed in public when they were tired, or catered to their every whim or let them make any decision above what snack they wanted or what t-shirt was good for that day until they were old enough to handle decisions like negotiating more TV time or altering a bed time. They adapted to MY environment, not the other way around. It's my obligation as a parent to rear responsible, considerate human beings, not let them run buckfucking wild and think it's cute, or to go by "Chloe's Mommy" or "Manda's Mommy" for the rest of my life. BARF. No one thinks your kid is cute except you, especially when he or she is acting like an animal and out of control. There were four kids running from one end of the restaurant to the other when my friend and I met for dinner the other night. For a good 10 minutes they ran full-speed, around waiters and patrons, screaming bloody murder. Their Mommies sat and talked and laughed at how cute their kids were. I passed them as I walked to the bar next door where kids are not allowed, and one little tyrant ran right into my leg. I looked at him and said, "YOU need to go sit down before you hurt someone." His mother looked at me and said, "He's just a little boy! He doesn't know any better!" (He was 4 if he was a day). I said, "This is not GD Chucky Cheese. He would know better if you taught him better. You are ridiculous, and so is your child." She looked at me like I'd shot her. Stupidbitch. I hope he grows up and steals all her money and leaves his kids for Mommy to raise.
  • I don't "hate babies" in the sense that I want to, like, feed them to tigers or something.  they're just not my thing. my friends know, don't ever ask me to babysit. I plan to be drinking on whatever day you need me. hire someone, you cheap biitches.
  • Meaghan, by "people in their twenties," I'm not referring to parents or women.  I'm referring to people in their 20's, but probably should have qualified that to early twenties and late teens.  Where I live that seems to mean "entitled and spoiled rotten."My sister in law had a new grad apply to work as a dental hygenist.  In the interview, she said "if you won't pay me $X, this interview is over."  The dollar amount was NOT a starting salary.I'm not sure if the applicant was surprised when the interview ended at that point or not.This last generation of parents have handed their children everything they possibly could, for the most part, and it's remarkable watching those people try to assimilate into the workforce.FI hires unskilled labour in the summer and most of those in their early twenties aren't smart enough to pass the drug test they're informed they HAVE to take.  If they can manage to get themselves to the test on time.  FI asks them before sending them if they'll pass because it's expensive for the company to keep sending people who fail.  Most say yes.  Then fail.  Then try to argue it.  Dude.  You had cocaine in your system.  Exactly HOW did that get there without your knowledge?

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
  • fonfeather:I must've missed the direct references to that in other people's posts, but I also implied it in my thread: that people refrain from doing other things in public that are "natural" or even "necessary" bodily functions.  Why should breastfeeding be any different? Yes, feeding a child is necessary. Period.  How you *choose* to do that, however, is NOT a necessity.  There is no call to be exposed, and I think choosing to do it in a crowded public place isn't exactly warranted either.
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  • I'm on the parent-hatred team. I really cannot stand most parents. I can't stand the way children think they're entitled to get whatever they want, do whatever they want, whenever they want. Children don't come auto-programmed to believe that. Their parents had to teach them. Their parents also had to teach them that it's okay to be lazy, sit and play video games for hours on end, eat junk food, call names, hit, scream, whine, etc. The word "no" is a wonderful thing and parents don't use it nearly enough. If there was some rule that I had to be a parent like that and let my child "explore their desires" or some BS with no restrictions, I would be making an appointment tomorrow to get my tubes tide. No way could I put up with that shiit. I'd be driving the kiddies over a cliff.
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  • you know what's REALLY annoying? is people trying to villainize you because you don't like kids. I went on a vacation message board to ask if there's less kids on a particular cruise ship than others, and there was so much pearl-clutching it made me want to gag. YOU like kids. I like adults. YOU like gardening. I like playing with the dogs. it's a personal preference like anything else.and anyone who judges people for that is laughable to me. is it lonely up there on your pedestal?
  • "Actually, maybe it's not that I hate the babies so much as I hate their parents."This!  And I actually really like babies/kids (hell, I was a part-time nanny for several years), and want to have several in a few years.  It's the mommies who think the world should revolve around their little precious that make me want to vomit.  Seriously, if you're not my family or very close friend, I don't give a crap about your kid.  And basically everything that TJ has said thus far.
  • It's a shame that Bec's parenting style isn't contagious.I never blame the kids for bad behavior.  Kids will get away with whatever the parents *let* them get away with. I also can't stand most parents I see out and about.
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  • Hmmm.  Reading this it would appear that I'm also a parent hater rather than a child hater.Yay.

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
  • TJ, I think I love you.I'm really excited about creating a little person that's half H and half me. Even though anyone can do it, that's just ridiculously cool for us. But, we're taking the approach that our grandparents took to parenting (minus all the unsafe stuff). The world will not revolve around our kid, our kid is going to be disciplined and removed if necessary when they to act out, the kid is going to be taught respect, and what is and is not appropriate. I'm not going to become a psychotic woman whose identity is taken over by becoming a mother. I will be able to have a conversation without mentioning a diaper genie. And, if I ever expose myself in public because I think I having a baby gives me that right, then I hope someone will smack me upside the head and knock some sense into me
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  • Respect.I think this is a word and a concept that needs to be revived.

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
  • And, fonfeather, you seem to have ignored my post about deciding for OTHER parents what is acceptable for their children.Nothing?

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
  • If adults can eat in public, and babies can drink from bottles in public, then there is not reason why a baby cannot BF in public. Families should not be shunned for making the best and most natural choice for their child. It's a boob. A BOOB in its functional form. I don't know if you know this but bottles and formula were not always available. The arguement of the inherent appropriateness of BF should be formulated as if bottles were not an option. Having a bottle and inferior baby formula does not change breastfeeding. And btw....I don't see it as much of a choice. There are a million reasons why breast feeding is better than bottles of formula. Breastfeeding practices should not change just because formula is available......which can predispose children to deadly GI infections among other things.
  • wading: I don't think fonfeather deals well with logical arguments.  Just saying.
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  • "If adults can eat in public, and babies can drink from bottles in public, then there is not reason why a baby cannot BF in public."Oh but there IS a reason. The reason is because it comes out of a BREAST. If a mother is not willing to cover up modestly, then yes, other people have a right to be offended and even disgusted.Because it is your BREAST. Just because there is milk coming out doesn't make it NOT a breast. It's a breast. A BREAST. Do you want to see mine at the dinner table? No? I don't want to see yours either.
    On bed rest since Groundhog's Day and every day since has been exactly the same.
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Blog
  • Bottles and formula came before strip malls and Starbucks. When the boob was the only way, women stayed at home and fed their children. They didn't drag them out for hours and hours at a time to shop at the mall. No one is arguing for or against breastfeeding, but I think you can show a little more consideration for yourself and your baby by finding a quiet, private spot. Or at the very least covering yourself. Whipping it out to feed Jr. in the middle of a crowd with boob in full view makes you look like just that; a BOOB.
  • so...you're asking people to live their daily life as though it were 100 years ago so that their opinions coincide with yours? done! I'm not sure what this new-fangled intranet doohickie is, I'm gonna pull my ox around and go home cause I'm sure it's the devil.
  • Oh sorry moose I missed that one...I don't see the original I just don't how a child seeing a boob as food is inappropriate. It's pretty easy for young children to understand that that is how babies eat.
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