Wedding Etiquette Forum

My sister

Is currently pregnant 7 weeks pregnant so she will be 7 months pregnant when I get married. I asked her to still be in the wedding and since we are a groomsmen down (I am a bit OCD so I like things to be even and match but oh well) that she could wear any kind of dress as long as it was red and she could walk down the aisle alone and sit down instead of stand the whole time. Does this seem like a good idea?
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Re: My sister

  • The only thing I have a problem with is her telling you what color she is wearing, unless red is your wedding color.
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  • Red is the color of the bridesmaids dresses and I still want her to be a bridesmaid and hold flowers just maybe not as conventional ? ya know?
  • Shelly, you have a problem with her picking the color of her bridesmaids' dresses? I think those are great, but maybe she doesn't want to sit down or walk alone.  Why don't you let her know that those are her options, if she wants to do that? 

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  • Sounds good to me. You're a very considerate bride & sister.
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  • I think it is fine but I would give her the option of walking alone or being escored by a groomsmen (2 bm for 1 gm) and also let her know that she can sit, but she is welcome to stand and let her decide. How long is your ceremony?
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    Repeat this to your self: My Wedding Party is made of my family and friends and I should treat them as such.
  • If red wasn't a wedding color I would.I think it would look odd if you have all the bridesmaids in one color and then one in red.
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  • If you want to give her the option to sit out of consideration for her comfort, that's fine. If you want her to sit so your wedding party sides are even, that's ridiculous.
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  • Can't spell tonight *escorted
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    bio
    Repeat this to your self: My Wedding Party is made of my family and friends and I should treat them as such.
  • I'm an idiot, I read that wrong.I apologize.  Where's that moron brigade?  I need a good slap.
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  • Oh, ok, I get what you're saying Shelly.

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    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
  • Well the only thing she had a problem with was walking down the aisle alone, well it could just be sarcasm and somewhat sadness (he SO just left her, he is bi-polar and doesn't have it under control, I think the pregnancy scared him). The church we are getting married in has a small aisle-way and wouldn't fit three people at one time. Seriously. We tried it for my sister's wedding and it didn't work. So now I am not sure what to do. Any suggestions? And I told her she could stand if she wanted. The ceremony would probably be 15-20 minutes. Standard ceremony no extras.
  • The only problem that I have is you asking her to still stay on as a BM for number's sake, not because she's like, your sister or anything. If you weren't a GM down, would you kick her out? If she decides it's too much to be pregnant and a BM, will you kick out a GM for the sake of even sides?
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  • What if another bridesmaid walks down with her, and the best man walks alone?  Or, do you have a brother that isn't in the wedding that could walk with her?  Could she walk with your mom? 

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    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
  • Do you have a brother or other family member that could escourt her? Why not have one of the other bm walk alone?
    My Grandparents on their wedding day.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    bio
    Repeat this to your self: My Wedding Party is made of my family and friends and I should treat them as such.
  • Ha! No I am not asking her to sit so the sides would be even, I was saying she could walk alone since we are a groomsman down anyways. In my mind I was thinking that way it wouldn't look weird if she was wearing a different dress than the rest of the bridesmaids.
  • I think you are worrying to much about this now. Just let things fall together at the rehersal.
    My Grandparents on their wedding day.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    bio
    Repeat this to your self: My Wedding Party is made of my family and friends and I should treat them as such.
  • Oh, ok - I apologize. Mis-read the OP.
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  • I am a little short of men, but I like the mom idea! And we don't know if there will be a rehearsal. Long story short money that was budgeted fell through after other parts of the budget were paid in full to get discounts. So I don't want to have a rehearsal and then not feed people because that would be super rude. Mind you our budget was $6,000 and now is $4500.
  • A lot of companies make maternity dresses.  My SIL wasn't a BM but bought a BM dress because she was pregnant.  You might be able to get her a similar dress as the rest of the BP. 
  • I would definetly do a rehersal. It takes a lot of the stress away from the wedding because everyone already knows what to do. You can do some cheap dinners, maybe order pizza or have a potluck or you could cook up some frozen lasagna.
    My Grandparents on their wedding day.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    bio
    Repeat this to your self: My Wedding Party is made of my family and friends and I should treat them as such.
  • Well the dress that I picked out is a bit form fitting so I was thinking something flowy would work better this is basically the BM dress[url]http://www.davidsbridal.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplayView?storeId=10052&catalogId=10051&categoryId=-49998974&currentIdx=12&subCategory=-49998976|-49998975|-49998974&catentryId=6096806&sort=[/url]
  • If you use the mom thing, you have to credit me in your program.

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    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
  • J&k if we have a program I will definitely credit you!
  • Can't she get a coordinating maternity BM dress in the same fabric and color as the other BM's? And I've never been pregnant, but is it that hard to stand for a 15-20 minute ceremony at seven months? If it is, she could sit down in the front pew after walking with the other BM's. Just don't demote her for being pregnant...
  • Since you're doing DB it should be really easy to find a similar dress in the same color. I don't think that one would be too flattering on someone who's 7 months pregnant. Maybe one of these:[url]http://tinyurl.com/moo8b6[/url][url]http://tinyurl.com/nc5wup[/url]
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  • I am not demoting her. A.) she will be carrying  the same flowers as the other girls B.) she will be in a formal dress in the same color as bridesmaids (maybe one that is cheaper since two of her kids are in the wedding as well) C.) she has 3 kids right now and I know she won't want to stand for 20 minutes at 7 months pregnant she always gains a lot of weight and she has a sciatic nerve problem in her back and it hurts 10 times worse when she is pregnant especially at 7 months. If she wants to stand she can absolutely stand I would love her to (this is why I asked her to be in my wedding in the first place I love and cherish her and want her to stand up there with me). I only thought of having her walk by herself because she would be in a different dress and we are a man down. I was trying for things to look natural. I don't understand how that is demoting her.
  • Lpstl the one with the flower is totally her! And I don't think it would look flattering either that is one of the reasons I suggested her wearing a different dress.
  • The way you worded your first post made it sound that way.  Now that you've explained it, it's clear to me you're not "demoting" her.  But I think a lot of us felt the same way after reading that post.We see a lot of "My BM is pregnant!  How do I ask her to step down?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!" posts.  We can only go by what you say.  So when things are phrased awkwardly, that's all we know.  Know what I mean?

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    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
  • I understand, I have seen the posts. I typically just sit back and read the funny responses to them. I wasn't taking offense either, I was just confused.
  • I think it sounds like you've got a pretty good plan then, have her walk down with your mom, pick a pregnancy friendly DB BM dress, and give her the option of sitting. I'd just make sure you present it as an option so she doesn't feel like she's being pushed aside.
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