Illinois-Chicago

was this really necessary?

I am wondering if any of you ladies bought things for your wedding that after the fact, you wondered if it was worth the cost, and maybe should have spent the extra money on something else. i have heard stories of people making out-of-town bags and having the hotel not even distribute them, or wedding planners taking excess liquor. i have heard of DOC's not even doing their job right, digital photobooths malfunctioning, and candy buffets being ignored or barely used.I am not trying to be overly cheap but I know there seem to be an influx of "add-ons" marketed to us brides and I want help sifting through the nicer things to splurge on and the silly fads that aren't really worth it.

Re: was this really necessary?

  • edited December 2011
    One thing we almost did that I didn't think was completely necessary was bathroom baskets. (I say almost because we physically bought all of the bathroom baskets and amenities, but decided to return it after all -- luckily, I had the receipt for most of the items).  I think that bathroom baskets are a REALLY nice gesture and its creative (I had only been to one wedding that had it), but only if you have the extra means in the end. It's not the biggest priority out of the other things you need to pay for during the wedding planning process. You don't think it is going to cost a lot when you are shopping in the travel sized items aisle, but you always end up finding more things to put in it, and it adds up when you have to get 2 of everything (for men + women's bathroom).  But again, I think it is a really nice gesture if you decide to do it, but its not mandatory.
  • January BrideJanuary Bride member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    We did not have out of town bags or candy buffets.  I think they're great, and if I was a big candy person I might have considered one.  Since I'm not, I didn't. Our photobooth was actually my #1 favorite thing from our wedding.  The photos we have are PRICELESS and I would have paid ten times what we did.  I have a photo guest book now, and will always have memories of what my guests looked like that day.  The hilarious photos just aren't the same as the types of photos that the photographer would capture.  To me it was completely worth it. I viewed the DOC as an "insurance policy" in a way.  Did I need one?  Hopefully not!  What if my cake vendor decided not to show up that day?  If they had, I would not have wanted to spend my entire wedding day worrying about something like that.  For that reason alone, I think a DOC is worth it.  Not for the little things like arranging placecards, but as peace of mind for the "what if" factors that may occur. GL!
  • morgie44morgie44 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think everyone has their own opinions on this but, we had a DOC and none of the other things  you listed.  I am so glad we spent the money for the DOC, it was nice not to have to worry about logistics and things on the day of.  I think the other things are things that might make your wedding a bit more unique than all the others that people have that year/season (because many will have been to several weddings)  so if you would like to stand out a little in guests minds, they might be worth it. 
  • I think the OOT bags are a neat idea but I'm very concerned about doing them. FI's siblings have both done very elaborate ones at their fairly recent weddings and its just not in our budget to basically make mini-fridges for 80% of our guests!
  • edited December 2011
    To add on to my pp, we had a DOC and I thought it was completely worth it. I (like January Bride) didn't know if anything would have gone wrong (or if anything did) had I not had a DOC... but it took the pressure off of having to have myself/family/friends worry about taking care of things during the wedding. At the end of the night, my DOC had coordinated it so that our car was already packed with everything we needed (with the help of my MOH who made sure that nothing was overlooked).
  • duckie1905duckie1905 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Our DOC was completly worth every single penny we spent.  We didn't really do anything else you mentioned, OOT bags, or candy buffet, our venue provided liquor, we didn't have a photobooth (but did do a photo station with our photog which was a huge hit).If I had it to do over, I probably wouldn't have done favors at all.
  • edited December 2011
    We are doing the candy buffet - I like the thought of them as favors and the dessert table is a bit expensive to add on, so it kind of is a two in one for me.  Haha.  Plus, my friends have never been to a wedding with one, so it will seem "new".I wasn't going to do OOT bags for the hotel rooms, but I just went to a wedding with one, and having those extra snacks late at night helped!
  • edited December 2011
    The only things I have ever used out of the OOT bags are the bottles of water.  But, I also don't snack a lot. 
  • edited December 2011
    I didn't have a DOC and everything worked out perfectly.  I hired vendors I trusted and made sure that they knew exactly what I wanted and what was expected of them.  I was also planning on doing bathroom baskets and nixed them a couple of weeks before the wedding.I did do a candy buffet for part of our favors (we also made a donation to the American Cancer Society and had cards at each place setting).  A lot of our guests had never been to a wedding with one and it did help set our wedding apart from others a little bit. I also opted to do welcome bags.  However, for our 225 guests, I only had to do 26 welcome bags.  We just didn't have that many OOT guests.  It was very well received by the guests that got them though.  Three of the couples at our wedding have since gotten married/engaged and have asked me if I don't mind if they use the idea.  I think it showed appreciation for the guests that paid the extra expense to stay at the hotel (we got our room free because so many guests booked).  I didn't go too extravagant on the bags ($.79 canvas bags to minimize waste): two bottles of water with labels printed with a cute pattern and note, two little bags of garrett's popcorn, two quaker granola bars, a welcome pamphlet that DH and I made, a visitors guide to the area (picked up from the city hall), and two bags of beer nuts (manufactured in the city we met in).  HTH!  Good luck!
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  • Elizabeth7277Elizabeth7277 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Since we don't have any OOT guests - no welcome bagsSince we booked few vendors and those are pretty much on the ball - no DOCI also thought about the bathroom baskets and decided against them. All above are great gestures but with a minimal budget I found that these were not of importance.
  • edited December 2011
    I have heard of the florist being late for a wedding. I don't know if it was on this board or my month board a while back, and at that point a DOC cannot do anything except call and harass them to hurry up. DOCs I looked into cost $700-$1000 and I feel like if any replacement florist were available what are they even going to do? Whip up 5 bouquets and get them there any faster.... Maybe I am a skeptic but I have heard rotten things about DOCs. The DJ at my wedding was telling me how rude a lot of the DOCs are, pretty much barking at the DJ to do things their way and both girls who were my DJs said straight up that they ignore the DOC and wedding planners because all they did was micro-manage.
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  • edited December 2011
    If you can afford a (good) DOC, it is definitely worth it- you won't have to worry about a thing on your wedding day.  We did OOT guest bags and they were appreciated, but definitely not needed.You have to judge your guests on the other items.  A candy buffet is cute, but would have been totally not used/misunderstood if we did this. 
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  • edited December 2011
    This post brings up some very good points. IMHO, I don't think it is necessary to spend big money on a DOC. I was able to find a budget DOC, that has been quite wonderful throughout the planning process. She's quite reasonable in price, and very capable!!! (500 for full planning services)  Page me on the board if you want her info. I feel the need for a DOC so that my family doesn't have to do anything at the end of the night. My vendors are all quite experienced, and the DOC will take over all of the details at 2 weeks out from the wedding. My vendors will not need any kind of direction, and my wedding officient is very experienced and will run the ceremony and rehersal. The DOC is there to take care of the details, timeline, confirmations, help set up the room, and to answer questions for the vendors. She will do what a DOC is supposed to do, coordinate the event. She will then make sure the clean up is done properly and all of our things are set in our car, as well as coordinating the gifts to the cars at the end of the night. As far as OOT bags, candy buffets, photobooths, bathroom baskets, etc. FOR ME I feel none of these things are necessary to have a lovely wedding. I will not be having any of these things that add extra expense. I will spend the money on a quality photographer, DJ, Florist, Venue, and Food. I'm paying for our wedding. I have a life outside "the wedding" that also needs my money!!!!  
  • mbuhpathimbuhpathi member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    we are using the following:a wedding coordinator (supplied by the venue)OOT bagslighting designerfloristdjphotographerwe are not using the following:videographerphoto boothcandy bar/buffet
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  • edited December 2011
    I had a DOC (she was a friend of the family and doesn't really work much but did it as a favor) and she was the biggest help the whole day. It was nice to know that anything that wasn't right she took care of it and I didn't have the hassle of running around in my wedding dress trying to make it right. When we got to the venue I noticed that they hadn't put out all of the types of beer we requested on the bar--I told her and they were bringing up cases of beer instantly. After the ceremony during the cocktail hour I was still holding my bouquet and she came by and asked if I needed anything so I handed off my bouquet to her because I was tired of holding it. She brought us the the ballroom before all of the guests to make sure everything was set up correctly. Honestly she was a huge help, I think the wedding day would have been a whole lot more stressful without her help.
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