Hi guys-You might remember me asking for advice on how to deal with my mom and her racist views.Turns out, she's apparently done some growing since our last conversation. I was kinda waiting it out before I talked to her to see what happened, and when the BF actually said that we should go ring shopping sometime in the near future this past weekend, I was like 'Well, I guess I can't wait to have this conversation now!' I sat down and talked to her last night, after warning my father this was coming and I needed his support, and pretty much laid it all out for her. I pretty much told her that I loved her, but didn't love her attitude, and that the happiness I felt about a potential engagement was overshadowed by the heartbreak that her racist views brought on...that I was afraid she wouldn't be able to get past them and see my BF is the wonderful, caring, loving person that he is because she was focusing on the color of his skin. I reminded her that he can't control being born black anymore than she could control being born italian. I reminded her how many people absolutely love him. My father reminded her how long he spent talking to him at the family picnic and how nice he seemed.She did get a bit snarky at one point, but my dad nipped it in the bud and she finally just said that all she wanted was for me to be happy, that I was an adult and can make my own decisions, and that it may take her some time, but she can learn to accept it. And then she asked if I really thought she'd not have BF and I at family gatherings if I married him, or she'd not want to be part of the wedding, etc. and I told her that yes, I did, and that's what I was afraid of from the beginning because I love my family and really wanted to share that with BF. She told me that wouldn't happen, so I didn't have to worry- if I was happy (and sure) about being with BF, then she was happy for me.So..I'm SO relieved. Thanks to you girls for the advice. And sorry this is long!!! JS