Pre-wedding Parties

Disappointed (VENT)

Well my shower was this weekend and whether or not it's okay to say, I was slightly disappointed. My MOH and her mother hosted the shower and it was so beautiful and well-planned and everything I could have wanted. However, she invited 35 people, and 14 showed up. Of the 21 people who were not there, only 3 people RSVPed with regrets. She included both her phone number and email address on the invite for RSVP purposes, and yet still all those people never bothered to respond. So as you can imagine, we were left with tons of extra food, extra prizes, etc. and we had 6 empty tables that they had all taken the time to decorate. And the 18 people who did not RSVP, are all part of the same side of my family. I am just really disappointed at the rudeness of them, it's rude to the host of the shower and upsetting to me, because I expected they were going to be there since they never responded with regrets.Additionally, the majority of these people just added their names to the cards of the people who were there, so they obviously knew about the shower and knew they weren't planning on coming, they just never bothered to respond. And then the rest of them never sent a gift or card or anything, they just completely ignored the whole event.Did this sort of thing happen to anyone else? Maybe I expected too much out of people, but I guess I just thought people would have the decency and manners to act and respond appropriately!  :-(

Re: Disappointed (VENT)

  • edited December 2011
    my shower was similar. the rsvp was regrets only. about 10 people called to say they couldnt make it. the rest just didnt show up. my shower was catored, and it was about 15-20 dollars per head and my bridal party ended up paying for at least 25 people that didnt show up! its extremely rude, and you have every right to feel upset about it.
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  • edited December 2011
    See that is why regrets only is useless. The hostess shoudl have contacted those who had not rsvped before paying for all teh wasted food ect. So hostess fail and guest fail.
  • edited December 2011
    My shower was sort of like that, except they all showed up. They were supposed to RSVP yes or no. I remember on the Weds before the shower, my sister told me that I was the only one of 20 invited that had actually called her to RSVP. The rest just assumed she knew they were coming. Luckily, my sis had the forsight to just call everyone and find out whether or not they were coming. A lot of people don't know etiquette or chose to ignore it. It sucks that people think they are just being non-traditional when they act this way. You'll probably have this same issue with your wedding invitations. Don't let them get away with it.
  • danieliza1127danieliza1127 member
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    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry that happened, and yes they were VERY rude for not responding or letting anyone know that they weren't coming.  That said, the hostesses had the responsibility to follow up with anyone who didn't respond so they could have had an accurate headcount.  Just chalk it up to a lesson learned.  When the wedding comes around, and people don't rsvp, it's YOUR responsibility to call them and find out if they're coming or not so you have an accurate number.  It sucks that some people don't respond, but it's just the way it goes.
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  • edited December 2011
    It is very rude when people do not RSVP and they never do! We are having our engagement party in about two weeks and only half the people invited have RSVPed and we've asked half of them! So we have to sit down tomorrow and call a about 50 people and say "hey are you coming?" which feels so rude to me. Oh well I guess it will be better than eating BBQ for a month! I feel your pain! 10/10/10 Bride!!!
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  • edited December 2011
    This happened to me except the non-RSVP'ers were from my husband's family.One side of my family lives out of town so my aunt (godmother) threw a shower in that state.  Because a couple of my new relatives live near by and my aunt offered to accommodate them, I invited the women.  My MIL had made a huge deal about how excited they were and how they really wanted to come.Well, none of them came, RSVP'd, or sent a gift.  When my husband called prior to the shower (since they hadn't RSVP'd) they didn't call him back.  Go figure some of them were PITA for the wedding.Anyways, it's ok to be disappointed in people sometimes.    Especially when other people go out of their way to do a nice thing and then get metaphorically stepped on.  The next step is to just let it go and move on.
  • edited December 2011
    That is so rude not to respond to an invitation. Your MOH could have followed up with the non responders to get an accurate head count. If she wrote 'regrets only' on the invitations, then she was really taking chances. Keep that in mind with your wedding RSVP's. You'll probably have to call the same people and tell them that you need response by noon. Dec 1st for the caterer or you will assume they are not going to the wedding. Good luck to you. Focus on the freinds and family who do show up to share your special day. Don't let the others ruin it for you.
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