Massachusetts-Boston

Seeing the Groom Before the Wedding?

So--- I was in 4 Weddings this summer!!!! (you read it right) And well now i'm trying to plan mine for 7/10/10. After all the weddings everyone said "it went by so fast"-- So i am debating having the pictures done before the ceremony--- am i breaking some huge rule.... will my marriage be dooomed lol?? I have a huge wedding party and don't want to be outside forever---- what do you guys think???Plus--- i love the pictures online when people have done this, its so intimate etc. IDK I go back and forth....Give me your opinions Ladies!!!

Re: Seeing the Groom Before the Wedding?

  • kates2480kates2480 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    to each their own, no i don't think your marriage will be doomed. personally, we did them after, I wanted to see my groom's face at the end of the aisle for the first time. I also would have a hard time looking at pre pictures and knowing that we weren't married yet. whatever you do, it'll be great.
  • edited December 2011
    We did this and I don't regret it! There are pics in my bio of our first look. I was glad we did b/c it gave us a little extra buffer time. We were running 30 min late to start the bridal party pics, so we ended up needing to take our couple portraits during the cocktail hour anyway, but it would have been crazy busy to get everything done during the cocktail hour. It won't doom your marriage! :p
    imageimage BFP #1 7/2011 natural m/c at 11.5 weeks. BFP #2 3/2012 ectopic pg, MTX at 7.5 weeks. BFP #3 10/2012, EDD 6/24/2013 over the moon to be expecting our baby girl in June!
  • edited December 2011
    This one is totally up to you and your FI. A lot of people do it for practical reasons (timing), but some decide to wait for sentimental reasons. Make sure you include FI in this though--you might be surprised at how strong of an opinion he has on this one.   My FI and I didn't see each other before the ceremony, but we still managed to get some photos in. I took ones with my girls and my family, and he with the men and his family. That way we only needed to do entire wedding party and entire family photos after the ceremony.
  • edited December 2011
    No, I don't think you will be doomed.  With that being said I agree that it flies by and I would want to have as much time as possible, but I agree with Kates I really want to see FI face at then end of the aisle for the first time.  We are adding about 30 min before the beginning of the reception for some pics and then will have the 60min of cocktail hour to do the remaining pics at the CC and might do me and the girls before to get those out of the way.  HTH
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  • edited December 2011
    We had some great shots from the reveal session we did before the ceremony.  It gave us some quiet time before it got too crazy.  So glad we did them! [IMG]http://i36.tinypic.com/2ntv4o9.jpg[/IMG]
  • edited December 2011
    Don't do it. I wouldn't trade any amount of party time for the moment I first saw him as I walked down that aisle.I had a HUGE wedding party too.Plus, I think the best pics from my wedding were often candids as opposed to posed WP pics. Obviously your marriage will not be doomed either way :)
  • edited December 2011
    We are doing pics before the ceremony.  Your marriage will definitely not be doomed if you do this.  It is becoming more and more common now.  I agree that i don't want to miss out on any part of the night, so we want to enjoy our cocktail hour with all of our guests. I do understand wanting your FI to see you first walking down the aisle, but the way i look at it, no matter when he sees you (whether before or during the ceremony), he will still have that look of awww on his face!
  • edited December 2011
    I also thought I'd add that different wedding traditions have this different ways. We had a Jewish wedding so there wasn't much of a decision to make. We sign the wedding contract (ketubah) together before the ceremony, so we were going to see each other either way. Anyway, talk to your husband and see what he thinks.. The walking down the aisle moment will be special no matter what.
    imageimage BFP #1 7/2011 natural m/c at 11.5 weeks. BFP #2 3/2012 ectopic pg, MTX at 7.5 weeks. BFP #3 10/2012, EDD 6/24/2013 over the moon to be expecting our baby girl in June!
  • edited December 2011
    Killian - that is true, and that is why i think in Jewish weddings, they do the pics before.  We have to see each other before the ceremony to sign the Ketubah, which is the Jewish marriage contract.
  • jenvaletjenvalet member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We had a "first look", as out photographers called it.  It was awesome and I wouldn't change it for the world. 
  • jkeprosjkepros member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We definitely plan on seeing each other before the wedding--hahaha...I think FI will be freaking out and it will calm him down to be around me (we recently went to a wedding where the groom had a mini anxiety attack waiting at the front with the JP for the bride).  We also want some cute shots of us GOING to the chapel (as of now we are thinking we want to take a cab from the hotel to the chapel--since we're having a "city" wedding, and what's more "city" than taking a cab???).  Really, you can do either.  And like pp's mentioned you can split it...like do your shots with your parents/family & bridesmaids/MOH ahead of time, and have him do his with his side, and then do the ones with you two together & everyone after.
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  • desistoldesistol member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We are doing pictures before for a few reasons. 1) we are both kind of emotional and figure it will give us some calming-down time 2) my brother and his now-wife did it and those are my favorite pics 3) the aisle "moment" will still be special 4) practical reason- it will be November and we want some pictures when it's not dark out!
  • edited December 2011
    I think this is a matter of personal preference. Some people want to do this and some don't. Whatever you chose to do will be great! And NO your marriage wont be doomed lol I personally will not be doing this because like other posters I want to see my FI first reaction as those church doors open and I start to walk down the aisle. To me there is a certain mystery about him wondering what I will look like etc.. Again..personal preference. HTH!
  • cazzysmithcazzysmith member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    personal choice.  My sis and b-i-l did photos well beforehand (they also had a 7pm winter wedding and needed some daylight for outdoor photos).  My FI really doesn't want to see me before I walk down the aisle, so we'll be stuck taking lots of pics during cocktail hour.  I think I will at least have some shots taken of me & my girls beforehand though.  If I lose some circulation/mingling time during the reception, oh well!
  • edited December 2011
    We are definitely going to take pictures before the ceremony for several reasons.  It just sounds more sensible and we'd have more time for photos and not miss out on cocktail hours with guests.  Both FI and I are sentimental but we don't mind each other before the ceremony.  The way he looks at it is that no matter what, he'll still be aww'ed and wow'ed by how I look, and there will always be the "first" look no matter where/when it is.  Also, seeing each other first would be a chance for us to bond and "prepare" to do this together (if that makes sense) - and I think it'd mean a lot to us.   Timing is a big issue, too, as we don't want to feel rushed.  Lastly, it's also what every vendors we've talked to so far recommended and preferred, if we didn't mind it, saying that things would be much easier and will run smoother that way.  The thought that seeing each other before the ceremony would mean doom to our marriage has never crossed our minds, so it's a go for us!
  • edited December 2011
    Personal choice, of course. For me: I just can't imagine doing it--not seeing my FI for the first time at the end of the aisle, with everyone we loved there--just such a classic moment. As to photos: We also managed to take a lot of photos before (me with bridesmaids, parents, siblings, he with groomsmen, father, siblings). That said, I am not everyone, and I am sure seeing your groom for the first time in any context will be amazing.
  • jfq971jfq971 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    No matter when you see you FI, there is still going to be that "moment." We took pictures beforehand, and we had a special moment just the two of us and our photographer. To me, it was almost more special because that moment was just between trhe two of us.And, to be honest, it was still very special to see each other as i was walking up the aisle. We still had that moment too.
  • edited December 2011
    Definitely personal preference.  I am more traditional and definitely do not want to see my FI before the ceremony.  I think that the moment he first sees me walking down the aisle will be priceless.  We are having a half Jewish wedding co-officiated with a Rabbi.  Our Rabbi told us that we can sign the Ketubbah during the ceremony so that we don't need to see each other before so if you have a Jewish ceremony you don't necessarily have to see each other before.  Also, we don't have a wedding party to speak of...just a MOH and BM.  Plus, I don't like posed pictures and we will do the bare minimum of those.  Candids are the way to go in my opinion. 
  • w8tilucmew8tilucme member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    did pics before..one of my best decisions...got all the emotional stuff on video minus the embarrassment of sharing a very personal (to me) and private moment with my future husband. We had time to connect and laugh before we were thrown into the "host and hostess" role.... definitely consider it!  Also, it didn't take away from the "aha moment" of him watching me walk down the aisle....
  • edited December 2011
    We did a good number of pics before the ceremony and then a handful afterwards. We're still together a year later :)
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  • edited December 2011
    We did not see each other but I think it is a personal choice.  MH was dead set against it.  I would have loved a few minutes alone with him to calm down... everybody else stressed me out that day and he was the only one I wanted to see! 
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  • edited December 2011
    Jewish bride here so yes, we are seeing eachother before the ceremony. I personally think the unveling/first look can have just as large of an impact as seeing one another at the end of the aisle.  It's totally a personal choice and your fi might feel strongly about this... ask him and see what he says.
  • edited December 2011
    We're doing ours before. Seeing jenvalet's and bharnett's pics really cemented in my mind the intimacy of the moment.  FI isn't really that tied to tradition, so he was fine with the idea and was even more behind the idea after we spent almost two hours taking formal photos in a wedding this past May. The guests were cranky and it was not pleasant. However, if you take all of the guys-only and the girls-only photos before and just leave the couple shots and the group shots for the cocktail hour, you should be fine. I can see both sides of this, but it's really a personal decision. No one's going to hold it against you if you do decide to do pics before.
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