Unbiased opinion

Re: Unbiased opinion

• John and Charisma <3

  

  September 2009 edited December 2011

  Honestly....Did you give her the option of being a bridesmaid? Because I would be pretty upset if my best friend of 21 years did not ask me to be a bridesmaid because I was pregnant. If you gave her an option, that is totally different. If you didn't, that may be why she is uninterested.

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• eviegrl42 member

  

  September 2009 edited December 2011

  I think you need to talk to her about her being in the wedding. Maybe taking her out or talking about taking her out has made her upset and by not talking about it.. it might strain your relationship with her. If she doesn't honestly care about it then I don't know... theres some people who have personalities that don't show a lot of excitement... se might be one of them. HTH Sorry I couldn't be more helpful Good luck

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• *Adams*Bride*

  

  September 2009 edited December 2011

  I'm sorry I can't really tell you what I would do, but I will say I would be just as upset if I was in your situation and I think you have a right to be so. I will say if nothing else talk with her, let her know how you are feeling. Also, make sure that she doesn't want to be in our bridal party. Maybe she feels like she is no longer apart of your wedding since she is just a guest now, especially sine you all have been friends for so long. You can always find a dress that she'll feel comfortable in. Even if she isn't part of our bridal party, maybe she could do a reading. I don't know, just some thoughts. Sorry you are going through this, hopefully you'll figure something out! If not, just focus on the people who care and enjoy this time in our life!

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• SRivera09 member

  

  September 2009 edited December 2011

  Oh gosh, I never kicked her out!  I just gave her to option to be a guest instead once I saw how depressed she was getting about her weight.  I invited her once the come along on one of my dress trials, then added on a side note that maybe we could see what size she is.  She ignored my phone calls and emails.  that one kinda annoyed me. Steverani-thats exactally how I am.  I'm typically a better friend than what I get in return and sometimes get taken advantage of.I may end up being a chicken and emailing about it!

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• John and Charisma <3

  

  September 2009 edited December 2011

  I would definitely talk to her face to face if you can. What exactly did she say when you offered her to be a guest?

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• SRivera09 member

  

  September 2009 edited December 2011

  when I offered it she pretty much jumped at the chance.

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• eviegrl42 member

  

  September 2009 edited December 2011

  Yeah I would just definitely talk about it then... I would chicken out too and email her .. not gonna lie lol but at least your doing something about it.

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• rosepourpre member

  

  September 2009 edited December 2011

  Talk to her. Who knows, maybe she's not being a crappy friend but simply dealing with the hormonal changes that come with pregnancy. Different people react to those changes differently, and she could well be generally depressed and expressing it as she can. If you've been friends that long, I think it's worth finding out what's going on. And maybe what you are already doing for her (with the shower) can help bring her out of her funk.

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• vedika member

  

  September 2009 edited December 2011

  talk to her face to face. she's going to be your bf no matter what, right? think of it this way: [if you guys believe in godparents] how would you feel if she didn't offer the option for you to be her child's godmother? also, if she was feeling insecure about her current weight gain, now she's going to feel more insecure about it since you've asked her to be a guest [not that you did/said anything intentionally or purposefully]. she may feel that you're embarrassed by her current situation now that you've asked her to be a guest. i know you're trying to put yourself in her shoes and being helpful as you've been through the pregnancy situation, but let her tell you herself, don't make the decision for her. Everyone is different and feels differently about everything. my bf gained about 200 pounds from middle school to now. but she's still my bf and will be in my wedding; i wouldn't want it any other way. she's also not very interested in my wedding planning. i've come to realize that she's not going to be as interested because it's not her wedding. she calls occasionally to see how things are going and asks what else i've done.i know that you'll make the right decision and definitely let us know how things go :]

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• amyers321 member

  

  September 2009 edited December 2011

  A good friend of mine would have been 8 months pregnant at our wedding. After weeks and weeks of thinking about it she decided to drop out. She had even already bought her dress. I'm sad but I know it's best...but it was 100% her decision. I don't think I would have been able to tell her...sorry I think you should not be in the wedding...for whatever reason> I would think your friend probably feels pretty crappy about now since you asked her to be in the wedding and then said no but I might be misunderstanding your post. If she is no longer in the wedding I don't' see why she should show any interest in your planning...especially seeing that she is pregnant. I think you are being a good friend in helping plan her shower..but I think it was kinda mean to offer to have her come just as a guest...just my 2 cents..

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• SRivera09 member

  

  September 2009 edited December 2011

    I never told she was no longer in the wedding.  She was getting supper depressed about her weight.  When I offered for her to be a guest she was actually really relived.  I think she was already thinking about it just didn't know how to tell me

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• John and Charisma <3

  

  September 2009 edited December 2011

  I would definitely have a face to face talk to her and tell her that although she has made the decision to come as a guest (emphasis on her making the decision!) you really want her to be a part of your special day. Tell her that her friendship and support mean so much to you. If after this she is still not being helpful then I would just keep being the bigger person that you are already being. Unfortuntely, people sometimes lose their minds when it comes to weddings...sometimes it is jealously and other times they are just that self centered. Sorry that you have to deal with this! Let us know how it turns out!

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