Catholic Weddings

Prayer of the Faithful and newly deceased relatives

Hello All, We're 5 weeks away, and getting down to the nitty gritty of the Mass. We had always intended to recite the Prayer of the Faithful, and mention our deceased by name (grandparents, etc). However, my uncle and aunt tragically died over the weekend and no one saw it coming. Although a small memorial service is planned at some point, we don't know when. The wedding may be the first time that my mom, other uncle, and grandmother all see each other since my aunt and uncle's death. I would like to mention them during the Prayer of the Faithful too, but my mom seemed to have a lot of reservations about that. She thinks my grandmother will throw a fit and need to leave the church when it happens. I know it will be an emotional moment but I would still like to mention them. If we don't mention them, we need to cut that part out entirely. Would any of you consider deferring to my mom and cutting that intention out entirely? Note: Fiance is opposed to changing the format and I would have to convince him too. He's got something at stake here too, having lost two grandparents within the last year and missing them terribly.

Re: Prayer of the Faithful and newly deceased relatives

  • edited December 2011
    I should add that my mom never asked me to cut the intention out of the Mass, and has been an absolute doll throughout the whole process. I could just tell by the tone of her voice that she was very nervous and upset about it.
  • edited December 2011
    I can understand not wanting to mention them specifically, only because the loss will still be very fresh after only five weeks. I would respect other people's wishes on this one - realistically, God knows who you're praying for, and if mentioning people by name will upset people in your family, I would personally shy away from it.We've mentioned the deceased in our prayer of the faithful like this:For those not present with us today; the very young and very old, those in far off places, and for our loved ones lost to tragedy, illness or to the passing of time, we pray to the Lord. That honours everyone who won't be there, for whatever reason, and nobody who read that prayer questioned who it is we were speaking about.
  • edited December 2011
    Good luck, though - it's a touchy subject. Just do what feels right in your heart.
  • edited December 2011
    First, please accept my condolences on your loss. Second, while I understand and sympathize with your FI on the loss of his grandparents and his desire to 'name names', maybe a better idea is to simply say something along the lines of, "For all those who have gone before us and are celebrating today in Paradise, especially the members of the Smith, Jones, Doe and Brown families, let us pray to the Lord."  That way you're mentioning family groups rather than particular families, KWIM?I wish you luck with whatever you decide.
  • edited December 2011
    maybe a compromise could be putting names in the program but only saying something general in the prayers of the faithful?
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  • edited December 2011
    I would wait 4 weeks. You are still in the first week of grief mom may feel differently in 4 weeks.
  • edited December 2011
    Ask your Grandmother how she feels about it. I think she would find comfort in knowing that her loved ones are being remembered on that very special day. Please do not eliminate the prayers for your fi's Grandparents even if your family chooses to omit the aunt and uncles name.
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