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RSVP Etiquette?

IdeasOPlentyIdeasOPlenty member
First Comment
in Florida-West Coast
I have about a dozen or so RSVP's that have still not been received.  I know it's proper etiquette to call to follow up on a response, but my question is... does it matter WHO calls?  Is it supposed to be the bride, her MOH or mother/mother-in-law?  Also, would it be improper to email the person?  I know at the end of the day, as long as you get a repsonse, if probably doesn't matter, but I want to make sure I'm not making any major faux paus!(On a side note, has anyone else had trouble getting a timely reply?  It's as if people don't seem to think it's important to RSVP - or they don't know what to do with it!?)Thanks ladies!
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Re: RSVP Etiquette?

  • LovinHim1010LovinHim1010
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Don't even get me started on RSVP's...we only recieved about 40%...  as far as etiquette on who is supposed to call..I don't know.  My mom called some of her family.  I talked to my dad's side.  FI talked to his mom. 
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  • LoskadoodleLoskadoodle
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I had my mom call our side and his parents thier side! Not sure of "proper etiquette" though.  All I know is that it would be considered "proper etiquette" for people to respond by the RSVP date... and since they don't all etiquette is our the window!! :)   This coming from someone who just had 4 people cancel, 11 days before our wedding, AFTER we already paid for them!!! NOT proper etiquette!!!
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  • LovinHim1010LovinHim1010
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Awe Ang!!
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  • LoskadoodleLoskadoodle
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    haha, venting!
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  • LovinHim1010LovinHim1010
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    FI's BM backed out last week. :(
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  • LS2WLS2W member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We had FI's dad call his side of the family to check up on RSVPs, but every time he called he forgot to ask!!! hahaha. I texted close friends that didn't respond.  I had 4 people call to cancel TODAY! It's really annoying. And my stepbrother and sister are deciding the day of the wedding if they want to come!
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  • dogluver315dogluver315 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Tab - your FI's BM backed out - that's nice of him to give you a good lengthy notice
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  • LovinHim1010LovinHim1010
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    they are letting you know DAY OF?! Oh no!! Yep, the BM backed out.  It is FI's brother, lives in Maine.  He told him that he had car problems and wouldn't be able to drive down, as he had planned.  So..we offered to buy him a ticket..no response.  AND there are at least 2 other cars driving down that he could ride in...and he isn't.  So FI is pretty hurt.  We think he has a new GF and doesn't want to come, because he probably will want to stay here and not go back up there...who knows.
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  • LoskadoodleLoskadoodle
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Seriously people are ridiculous!  Do they not understand that this stuff is EXPENSIVE?!?!  If you don't want to come then don't come.... but make a freaking decision!
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  • jen812jen812 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm not looking forward to RSVPs!!! I don't think it really matters who calls, but if you want to play by the books, I think it's whoever's hosting the wedding. In my situation, everyone is hosting the wedding so I guess whoever is the closest to the late RSVPer.
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  • Kristin789Kristin789 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    1.  Whoever is hosting the wedding is the person/people who extend the invitation and who take the RSVP's and who follow up on RSVP's not received.  If your parents' names are on the top line of your invitation as the hosts of your wedding who are inviting the people to attend, then it's your parents who follow up on the RSVPs.Now, if your mother CHOOSES to do so... or if your FMIL VOLUNTEERS, your FMIL may be directed to follow up on any RSVPs from the groom's family.2.  Your guests have not responded yet because it's not time for them to respond.  Most guests have been to many weddings, and they are familiar with the usual, traditional timeline that has RSVPs coming in at the 3-week mark (see below).  Your wedding is over FOUR weeks away.So you really can't be irritated or agitated yet, and you really can't have your mother and potentially FMIL getting all hot on the phone/e-mail with these people who have not yet responded, because you aren't at the 3-week mark yet. Q.How far in advance should you send invitations? What is the proper date to ask for the reply card?A. Invitations should go out six weeks before the wedding -- that gives guests plenty of time to clear their schedules for the day and make travel arrangements if they are out-of-towners. It also lets you make the RSVP date a little earlier -- say three weeks before the wedding date -- so you can get a final head count and start making a seating chart (if you'll have one) before the final-week-before-the-wedding crunch begins.
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