Wedding Party

Bridesmaid Fight

One of my bridesmaids, who is my fiance's sister, is giving my maid of honor, who happens to be my sister, a hard time. My sister tries to answer her questions but she gets snotty remarks in return. I am not really supposed to know this is going on but the bridesmaid, my fiance's sister, calls him to complain about the situation. It makes me upset that she is giving my sister such a hard time. Do I interfere? My sister says don't worry about it but this has been going on fo awhile. Our wedding is only three months away...I really want the fighting to stop! What do I do??? Any suggestions??? Thanks- Becky

Re: Bridesmaid Fight

  • Ok they are not telling you about the disagreements. they are both adults and can disagree all they want as long as they keep things civil. They really have absolutely no reason to talk in the next 3 months You should stay out of it getting in the middle will just magnify drama. Also if teh hard time is over doing a bunch of expensive time consuming things for you and the wedding you shoudl encourage simple and low key for showers and bachlorettes and if problem for anyone to skip it
  • Let them handle it - stay out of it. If your FSIL starts bad-mouthing your sister to you, though, just say, "Susie is my sister and I won't let you speak about her that way. I'm not asking you to be friends, but I AM asking you to be civil. If that means that you need to ignore each other, fine."
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  • Two words: arm wrestlingJust kidding. That's a tough spot to be in. I agree with PP that you need to let them handle it. What is the backstory on this? Do they have an antagonistic history? Why is FI's sister nasty to her in particular?
  • My FI sister is a type of person who wants everything her way....it seems from what i have heard, which like I said I have only heard bits and pieces, that my MOH has been doing a great job of organizing the various parties and tyring to include everyone (I have 6 people in my BP). But if ny sister doesn't take my FI sister's suggestions then the snotty comments come out. I am not sure if it is about the money...I know there was a big arguement over my Bach Party. But I have said...if you don't have the money don't worry about coming! PS-This has only been going on since the planning of the parties have started. They do not know each other otherwise. But since my FI sister has been complaining to her family my sister feels that my FI family will hae preconceieved notions of her. This is supposed to be fun...not this stressful! I don't get why everything has to be such such a big deal! Sorry to vent-I am just upset! Thanks- Becky
  • Is FI's sister usually this difficult? It might just be her personality. Doesn't make it right, but it may just be the way she is. I still say, stay out of it. Let them work it out.
  • Ditto mbc.Beyond that, you need to say, "I understand that things aren't going well but we need to stay out of it.  If the issue is between the two of you then the two of you need to work this out."If she then continues to badmouth someone (either your sister or FI's sister) say, "I can't listen to this since you're talking about my family (or future family).  PLEASE work this out between the two of you."If you let them both know that you're not a fan of what they're doing, they'll hopefully begin to understand that you're not going to play party to either one.
  • You shouldn't do anything other than talk to your FI, and let him know that you know about the issues between your sister and his. And that he should stay out of it as well. If either of you start taking sides it could just make things even worse.He needs to tell his sister she needs to put her big girl panties on and act like an adult. If she's having money issues then that's something that she has to work through, but he can't help her there.And he doesn't want to hear anything else about this whole mess.
  • Stagemanager has it complety right both you and FI need to not get involved in that. Those girls both need to work it out and not involve you.
  • This is why I would never in a million years include my Fiance's sister in our wedding. Are you close to her? If so I guess its a hard call but you should definitly have your fiance speak to her since she's telling him about it anyway. 10/10/10 Bride!!
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