what do I do?

loveypants · October 2009

I have posted about this before and I still am having problems.wedding is 8 weeks away. I have been casually reminding bridesmaids about ordering dresses. I have told them it takes 6-8 weeks to get in plus alteration time.Still 3 of them have not ordered. My matron of honor sent out a really sweet email about everyone needing to jump on ordering them, and that she is taking over making sure it gets done because she doesn't want me stressing about it. The three girls did not respond to her email. She waited a week and then text each one of them with a follow up. None of them responded to her text. We are both frusterated and I don't know what to do at this point. (I am also a little disappointed in my friends for being rude and not responding to my matron of honor)What would y'all do?

appletango85 · October 2009

I was having this trouble with my MoH. And I flat out told her if she didn't have a dress she was out of the bridal party. I also offered to go shopping with her, suggested things she could do, etc. I tried to help her as much as possible and even let her get one at a dept store that doesn't exactly match the other color bc I really did want her up there. But she knew if she didn't get a dress that she would only be attending as a guest. Tough love. It sucked but it worked.GL

Mariah&Steven · October 2009

You need to step in and constantly call until you get an answer about the dresses. I'm not sure where you're ordering them from, but your wedding is in 8 weeks and it just seems like it may be too late to order. These girls may need to buy a different dress off the rack. It's time to be proactive and aggressive, instead of passive. No more sweet e-mails, phone calls, or texts. I'd be in their face about it. And to be quite honest with you, I wouldn't print any of your programs until those dresses are bought, altered, and you know the BM are serious about being in your wedding.

loveypants · October 2009

Mariah that's one of the things I am stressed about. Not only do I have 3 who won't buy their dresses, but I don't know if y'all remember but I also have the neice who won't decide if she is even going to be in it. I am trying to put our relationship over the wedding, so I have been telling her to take her time deciding, but s*it! She has had 9 months to decide!

TCUESW1999 · October 2009

Wait, did I read that right??? 9 months to DECIDE if she wanted to be in the wedding?! That is crap. Tell her no, she has had enough time to "decide" whether she should be in your wedding or not. That is rude and ridiculous, it is an honor to be asked.

Tiffany618 · October 2009

I say pick up the phone in call them right now. Emails and texts are no longer appropriate. If you don't hear from them by Monday, then their out. Monday is being generous.

loveypants · October 2009

I am trying to fix our relationship and she is young (19). I have told her how important it is to me that she be part of it. I have made sure to not talk much wedding stuff with her, so she doesn't feel like it's all I think about.She is family. I am really, really trying to fix us more than get a bridesmaid. Although, I think when she gets older and is getting married, she is gonna feel bad about doing this. At least I hope.

Mariah&Steven · October 2009

I understand you trying to smooth things over and get the relationship back on track...but 9 months is too long. She's had plenty of time to decide and if she's still on the fence about it, then clearly she doesn't want to/need to be in your wedding. This is a time when the people who matter most to you and truly care for you should be standing up with you, not hemming and hawing over whether or not they want to be a part of your day. Seriously, put your foot down. You say, "Either you want to be in this wedding or not. Your time is up" and then to the others who haven't gotten their dress, "Either you order your dresses this weekend or you can just be a guest at my wedding". You do NOT need that added stress on you 2 months before your wedding. It's not worth it. I'm speaking for your sanity here.

TCUESW1999 · October 2009

Again, I agree with Mariah. You do NOT need th extra stress.

juliebug1997 · October 2009

Now's the time. No more Mr. Niceguy.

loveypants · October 2009

I totally agree with y'all. I feel like my head is going to explode from this. My MOH was so sweet to try to step in and help. I think partly I am waiting so long about my neice because it is going to hurt my feeling so bad if she decided not to be in it.One of my girls has twice now asked me to go with her to get the dress, asked what day I can go, then on that day not answered my texts or calls. Then a week later I get this text "OMG I HAVE to get my dress for the wedding THIS week! When can you go?!?!?!?!?"

BalletBride620 · October 2009

I agree with everyone else. Is it possible they just don't truly know it takes this long to order a dress? I would tell them if they still want to be in it they need to expedite shipping.

Jay&Marissa · October 2009

Time to become Bridezilla! Heck, my bridesmaids are willing to have them ordered 6 months out! Your cousin seems very inconsiderate and immature--I'm sorry.

JustinandLindsay2009 · October 2009

Ditto Tiffany618 - at some point you just have to put your foot down. Maybe your wedding isn't the right forum to "fix" broken relationships. There is already so much stress with weddings and not having a strong support system can make it worse. Just IMO.

what do I do?

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