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September 2009 Weddings

How have you handled....

the question of "how much money did you get from the wedding"?My MIL has asked my FI this question twice and both times he has given her a low-estimated figure.  Also, everytime we got a card in the mail, she asked if I could open it so she could see how much is in there.  Tacky, yes.  Rude, yes.  Anyone else have to deal with this BS?

Re: How have you handled....

  • Crap... FI= H /DH.... I'll probably slip a couple more times! haha
  • Wow, nobody has asked us that.  That's really rude.
  • My thoughts exactly.I'm really hoping I'm not the only one that this happening to.  :-\
  • yes- a bunch of people! I just say we got enough to purchase our bedroom set, which we really wanted, and close the subject.
    White Knot
    Stand up for something you believe in. White Knot
  • No, this is way rude and weird. Who asks this?! I'd tell her to mind her beeswax!
    image
    Sunbonnet or cone of shame? You be the judge! Trixie's Blog
    My Planning Bio
    My Married Bio updated March 4
  • My mom asked, but it didn't really bother me and I told her.  No one else has asked me, and if anyone has asked DH, he hasn't mentioned it
    image
  • My mother asked us... in front of other people at the brunch the day after.I simply told her "enough."She said "ok, tell me later"Yeah, no, Mom...
  • The only one that's asked was my MOH, and in the situation we were in, I didn't find it really rude she asked, just a little nosy. The figure I gave her was about half of our final figure, just because we ended up receiving more later. We also told our parents the final figure, partly because I want to pay my parents back to help them pay off the wedding bills, and the wedding money plays a big role in how much we can give them.
  • Stina~ The last card we got in the mail, and she asked me to open it and see what was in inside, and I said (very b!tchy) "that's none of your business, you know?"  She said,"Oh, I don't care, if you don't want to tell me, then don't, " in a slightly snotty way.  I think she got the hint... but we'll find out.  I think that's why she's asked DH instead. She knows I mind her asking. 
  • No one has asked and I would be visibly annoyed if they did.I would simply say "We have very generous friends and family, and that's all we'd like to share on that topic"
  • we just say "enough"
    <a target="_blank" href=http://tinyurl.com/4npsg2m/>Blog</a> [] <a target="_blank" href=http://tinyurl.com/4om2o84/>Planning</a> [] <a target="_blank" href=http://tinyurl.com/4t8xhr3/>Married</a>



    Charlie ? 12/11/2011



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  • no one has really asked. I mentioned something to my mom though because I was excited. We ended up getting more later on anyway so it wasnt a big deal. But MIL did open one of our cards and then mailed it to us in a separate envelope. She claims it was because there was cash inside. How the hell did you know that until after you opened it? God I despise her.
    Kari & Jesse 09.26.09
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  • Mac~ I think my MIL and your MIL should be put in box and sent far, far.... VERY FAR away..... I would not put up with her if she wasn't DH mom..... She's lucky she has that going for her!My mom can't stand her either... She says she lacks "substance".  hahahaha
  • My mom has been the only one to ask. Only because she felt really bad about not having been able to contribute to the wedding. She's so sweet...she keeps saying how she can only afford her love & labor, but nothing monetary. She just wanted to make sure we were taken care of and that we were not in any financial distress from the wedding. No biggie.
  • yes, and I have just the box in mind..... Stina, my mom was the same way. She wasnt able to contribute very much to our wedding and felt awful for it. I said her behaving and not making an a$$ of herself was all I needed.
    Kari & Jesse 09.26.09
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  • sorry I meant bharnett
    Kari & Jesse 09.26.09
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  • When asked we just reply with enough to be able to move to Colorado.
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  • Sorry I was absent Nat. She seems so nosy and she goes behind your back. Maybe tell your husband to also tell her that you got "enough" and that she should stop prying because it's "rude." See if that gets her to stop.
    image
    Sunbonnet or cone of shame? You be the judge! Trixie's Blog
    My Planning Bio
    My Married Bio updated March 4
  • Stina~ Done and Done.  DH agrees it's "rude" which is why he tells her *much* less than what we actually got.  He knows (and I know) she wont be satisfied with answer like "we made enough". We're on the same page as this one.  Thank goodness. 
  • my dad asked who's family gave more. i didn't tell him. my mom wants to sit down with me and go over how much my family gave. i told her that is none of her business, these were gifts for DH and I and neither of us feels comfortable divulging that info. she got pissy and seemed offended, but i held my ground.
  • Wow, she sounds splendid.
    image
    Sunbonnet or cone of shame? You be the judge! Trixie's Blog
    My Planning Bio
    My Married Bio updated March 4
  • Haven't gotten that question yet. Honestly, I don't think either family will ask us. The day after the wedding, we opened some cards that had checks in them (and my mom was making a list of who gave what for TYs) but no one asked how much.
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