What is the Proper Etiquette?

guppie786 · October 2009

So my fiance and I are getting married next June. We will be having a small private ceremony one day and a reception the next. If there is anyone other than us and our witnesses at the ceremony it will just be our immediate family (about 12 people). The reception the following day will have ~70 people at it (well that's how many we are inviting anyway) and will be our extended families and a few close friends. Anyway we were wondering if it is customary to register in this instance? I have never been to a wedding for my family and he will be one of the first in his family to marry (out of our generation anyway) so we don't even know what our families "views" are on registering. Thanks!

alison1209 · October 2009

My sister had something very similar -a small garden wedding with only immediate family followed by a sit-down dinner with only 25 people. They sent out announcements after the wedding to about 50 more people (friends and extended family). She registered and received a lot of gifts from people who just wanted to wish them well in their new life together. I say go for it!

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · October 2009

Registering can be done in most wedding instances. Like any registry, don't broadcast it. Tell people who ask, perhaps add it discreetly to a wedding website. The people at your reception will want to celebrate and most will probably send gifts. They'll probably be looking for direction, so if you want to register, do it.

Leah&Christian09 · October 2009

Yes, you should make a registry. Some people will want to bring you gifts, and that gives them a clue about what to get. People will ask you if they want to know.

duckie1905 · October 2009

I've attended small weddings like yours before and always appreciated the couple setting up a registry.

guppie786 · October 2009

Thanks guys! I just wasn't sure and didn't want to do it if it was going to be etiquette no-no.

vicymar · October 2009

Hi, I really don't see why you wouldn't. If you weren't inviting anyone I would say don't register but, you are inviting people and I am sure they will appreciate you registering

afp1223 · October 2009

I am doing the same thing in November 2010. Small ceremony with only immediate family (20 - 25 people) on Friday and a reception on Saturday for family and friends (125+ people). I was wondering about the invitations. I guess two different invitations? How are you wording your invitations for reception only guests?

guppie786 · October 2009

afp1223Since we are not getting married until next June I haven't really put much thought into the invatations yet becuse I figure I have time to get it all worked out. I did just order my STD's and I just put this:Save the Date!Bride and Groom Celebrating their marriage June xxth 2010Venue, LocationI figure that we will put something similar on the invites for the reception and as far as the ceremony if we do invite anyone we would just tell them as it is our immediate family.

guppie786 · October 2009

Wow, no idea why that all ended up bolded. Oops

Kristin789 · October 2009

FYI: You're inviting 70 people who were not good enough to witness your actual wedding ceremony to come the next day to a gift grab drop off party... I know no one who goes to those. It's like saying, "You aren't close enough to be a part of the real reason for this celebration this weekend, but you sure are close enough to buy us a gift. If your area is like the area where I live, maybe half of your guest list will come to something like this... A better idea would be to have the 12-people ceremony with a 12-person reception and that's it. We did that - had a 25-person ceremony with a 25-person luncheon reception afterward. Or a better idea would be to have a 70-person ceremony with a 70-person reception.

Ckirwin · October 2009

Kristin, that must be the etiquette in your small area because where i am from it is COMPLETELY acceptable to have a small ceremony and follow with a bigger reception for family and friends at a later date. i have been to several, and have always brought a gift for the couple. not because i felt as if i was being invited just to bring a gift, but because i was so happy and excited for the couple that i wanted to give them a gift as a symbol of my love and excitement for them. it's not our place to judge a couple who choses or is in a position to host a small ceremony and then host a larger reception later.QuickBartender, definitely register! as others have said, your friends and family will want some guidance, regardless if they are attending both the C and R or just the R. Have fun!

mags0607 · October 2009

I say register. We had a friend who had a destination wedding with family only. His father couldn't travel and they wanted him to be there, so they did the ceremony in Canada where the groom was from and came home to the reception with 100 people who would have been at the wedding if possible. They were fortunate enough to have been able to tape the ceremony and broadcast it for everyone at the reception. Its your day and you want to celebrate it, your friends will appreciate knowing what to pick out for you guys.

What is the Proper Etiquette?

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