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Destination Weddings Discussions

Long @ss Night with the In-Laws - Vent

So last night we needed FMIL & FFIL's opinion on something WR.  After we were done talking, his mom wanted to know why we're not having FI's two brothers in the wedding with us.  She went on to say, well Cindy has a sister so that could be her MOH and you have 2 BM.  As politely as I could, I told her that I'm not close enough to my sister and would not have made her my MOH.  She then proceeded to say that's okay, you can have 2 BM with no MOH's even when FFIL told her how uneven that would be.  So we told her that we we're honoring them as much as possible, short of having them stand with us.  We've also had this convo with FBIL's so they know the situation.  Mommy doesn't need to come fight their battles.  Then the argument (because it always turns into an argument) progressed to them comparing Eric and his brother vs. me and Eric's sister-in-law and how they let the families do all these things for their wedding that we're not doing.  Hello, we can't even do half of those things ourselves.  Eric made a very valid point that of course she didn't get.  He said that we've asked their opinion on everything we can.  And in most cases they've given it, with no enthusiasm.  Besides that, the only other time they bring up the wedding is to tell us something that we're doing wrong.  NONE of them have come to say they're excited, or give constructive suggestions, or to ask us how things are going.  After some things we're brought up comparing FSIL to me, I started balling and had to leave the room.  In the end everyone agreed to disagree.  Eric said that if his brothers really had an issue with him then they should have come to him or even told him when he brought it up.  Otherwise what are we supposed to think?  Needless to say, we had a few drinks to end the night. Ugh, why does drama always come up with them?  Can't they just be happy for us once?

Re: Long @ss Night with the In-Laws - Vent

  • Sorry to be klassy but Fuuck 'um.  Sorry, you're dealing with this.  None of this seems to be a big deal.
  • **hugs** I'm so sorry! Ugh, that really sucks. I felt the same way with my FIL's, except your FIL's share their opinions much more freely than mine do/did. My FIL's never say anything, except for the few times they did open their mouths to say how much they don't like or agree with what we're doing. It really sucks. Luckily they have never compared us with FBIL and his wife, I would lose it just like you did! Eventually I just learned to plow on and ignore what they say. I want to include them, but now I have figured out the information that they actually want to hear and I pretty much only tell them that. This way they are happy & I am happy. The info they want to hear usually has to do with food/alcohol. Hahaha. This is a bump in the road, it will all be over soon and none of this BS will even matter. Just remember that! We're here for you.
  • I thought I should clarify that nothing you are doing should be a big deal to them.  The way they are acting is a BIG deal.
  • {{{{{HUGS}}}}} sorry inlaws have to suck so much!! Take deep breaths and know that this will all be over soon. I wish that everyone would get it and just be supportive of us and our decisions - like everyone always says... this is OUR day not theirs, so we should be able to do it how we want it with nothing but support, not criticism.
  • That sucks!  I hate when in-laws become nosey.  Sorry you had to deal with that, but at least FI came to your rescue =)
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  • Sorry you have to deal with this... can't they understand it's what you and FI want!  And why is it such a big deal you have attendents, your wedding is not a day to honor your siblings, that's what birthdays are for!  Don't sweat it, we're not having attendents either!
  • Oh for the love of....Tell em to zip it.  Really.  It's not the end of the world.  And like your FI said - if his brothers had a problem with it, they should have said something themselves.Now close your eyes and imagine throwing a raccoon carcass at your FMIL.  I promise, you'll feel better.
  • OMG, Lisa, I just about spit my water all over my computer.  Knowing her she'd try to rescue it.
  • :( What a bummer!!!  I'm sorry to hear about the added stress!  Why can't other people stay out of it and if brothers or sisters have issues, then let them tell us!  Why do in-laws have to get involved?!?!  ARGH!You keep doing what you want to do....
  • Just don't pay attention to what they have to say anymore...and don't ask them about their opinion anymore...thay just don't deserve it...like McC very well said...F!*k them!
  • That's totally bunk you have to deal with that! We're not having attendants either - too much stress to deal with for us. I would just say back that you did it to save them money - who wants to pay for another BM dress and all the crap that goes along with it or rent a suit or whatever. You're doing them a favor :) Maybe that will work?
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  • I'm sorry you're still dealing with those pesky inlaws.  I agree with the carcass throwing.  Just add a little fun in the mix :)
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