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Is this asking too much??

Sweet Ga PeachSweet Ga Peach
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in Georgia-Atlanta
So my mom passed away in 2008... Her life insurance was left to my dad... He lives with his girl friend (of at least two years, ::cough::), my brother and his girl friends two girls... He just bought land to build a house for them... Is it TOO much for me to ask for a $5000 - $7000 wedding?? Technically I'm the only one my dad HAS to pay for wedding wise, he has my mom's life insurance money that he is using for the land for him and his girl friend (yes it's a twisted situation)... Part of me feels like I'm being selfish... and part of me is thinking why not if they can make their dreams come true why can't I have a wedding I'll always remember? Input please!!
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Re: Is this asking too much??

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    ncohioncohio member
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    edited December 2011
    I don't think you can ask for money from anyone.  It's kind of like asking for someone to buy you a gift.If you want to bring it up, you can mention that you're trying to figure out what your budget is and see if he offers to help with it.  If he does offer to help, ask him what he is willing to pay for.  If he says less than what you are hoping for or says he's not helping at all, then you have to find a way to pay for the difference yourself.
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    annewright2000annewright2000 member
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    edited December 2011
    I think it all depends on your relationship with your dad... here are some questions just to think about (not to respond to!)--- has it always been kind of "assumed" in the family that he was going to pay? What has HIS friends done for THEIR daughters weddings? What do you think your mom would have wanted? Maybe the answers to those questions will give you a better feel for what will happen. But for sure don't ask, I agree with ohio, its like asking for a gift. Either way, start saving!!!
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    catcronleycatcronley
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    edited December 2011
    It depends on if you are 25 or 45. If you are 25 I would expect him to help out. I think you should ask, just don't be surprised if he says no. He's your father not some stranger and it is ok to ask your daddy for a gift.
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    Sweet Ga PeachSweet Ga Peach
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    edited December 2011
    Well I'll be 20 next year when we get married... And he has already said he is paying for things so it's not like I'm asking for anything he didn't expect... I just changed my mind from a regular church ceremony to something a little different. I just feel that if it's ok to spend my mom's life insurance money on his girl friend and her kids (seeings how he cheated on my mom WITH her) it's ok to spend it on my mom's actual daughter... It's a lot more than just the whole wedding thing, I guess it's kind of a grudge or something, the money doesn't really matter to me, it just seems like a smack in the face to my mom... It's a looong story, and I just feel like I shouldn't feel that way but I do, maybe it'll pass with time lol.
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    catcronleycatcronley
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    edited December 2011
    I would be angry too. Don't beat yourself up about it. My advice would be to have a beautiful wedding, let Daddy pay for it, and go make a lovely life for yourself. Unfortunately families aren't always what they should be. PS Sorry about your Mom. I'm sure she will be with you in spirit.
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    annewright2000annewright2000 member
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    edited December 2011
    Sweet GA Peach, after reading your second comment, I think you should TOTALLY have him pay everything you can squeeze out of him! I think that's what your mom would want for sure!! And I agree with the girl who said, have a beautiful wedding and enjoy your marriage.... try not to let those two wonderful things get bogged down with all the family BS!
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    jinxed8605jinxed8605
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    edited December 2011
    There is nothing wrong with asking what your dad will pay for.  He is your dad after all! When I got engaged, I told my parents we got excited etc... Then shortly after (a couple weeks I think) I asked how much they were willing to pay, but explained that it isn't required for them to help.  Luckily for me they said they'd cover it all (whatever I wanted) which was great, but if they had said "well, we can afford to give you 4,000 bucks" I would've said ok great, let me and FI save up the rest of what we need to cover the wedding we want and we'll let you know when we are ready to start putting money down.If he says he changed his mind about helping, you'll just have to save up for the wedding you want.  If that means putting off the wedding a little longer, so be it, unless you're willing to sacrifice a little bit (like a JP ceremony and then regular reception). Has your FI asked his parents if they are contributing (honeymoon, rehearsal dinner, or even the wedding)?
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    Sweet Ga PeachSweet Ga Peach
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    edited December 2011
    Well I feel bad about asking his mom to help... She just got remarried and has two young kids to take care of and his dad passed away in '07 so...But my dad's girl friend and I went out to the Pineola Farm, which is where I'm now looking at, and I'm pretty sure my dad is going to help me out, I just have to keep his gf off his back about it b/c its not her business really lol.. The place is SO gorgeous and it feels SO right... It was totally me and I'm even pushing my wedding date from MAY to NOVEMBER to make this work lmao, I can't believe this place just kind of fell in my lap b/c I'm not even sure how I found it.
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