Guest Count Question

TysWife2Be · October 2009

Hello ladies!So I am torn. The venue that I wanted to book for the reception I am having 2nd thoughts about. I feel like that would be forcing something that was just mediocre (the price was AMAZING!). I am thinking about talking to the FI to see if he would like to drop our guest count. We were going to invite about 300 people but I am REALLY thinking about only inviting about 200.That would save us a LOT of money and it would give us the opportunities to look at other venues that we like more. What do you ladies think about potentially cutting a list down?Do you think that it is worth it to cut our list to get a better location that we actually fall in love with?OPINIONS PLEASE FELLOW KNOTTIES!!!

xxquemirasxx · October 2009

Well I think..you should cut down the list. WOW 300 guest! But seriously I think you should talk with your FI to figure all of this out. So you are thinking of cutting 100 people. Of these 100 guest is this family, friends, co-worker???? Will it be your list that gets the larger cut or FI's list? These are the questions that I'm sure will come up. Initially both of you thought of having these extra 100 people. I think its really a priority sit and talk and see what you can figure out and have your list in front of you because if both of you agree on it both of you will have to figure who to NOT to invite.GL in your decision

Vans18 · October 2009

You should definitely cut the list down!!! That was one of the first things the first wedding planner I met with told me. I started off with 260 and I'm now down at 150, and I am soooo happy with it! I realized those who I cut down, I didn't really talk to them or spent ANY sort of time with. So you should consider it and do it. It feels great to cut people down. We covered family, and closest friends only. HTH!p.s. The tip she gave me was "If you have have NOT called or received a phone call from one of the ones on your list this past year, CUT THEM!

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · October 2009

That's what I'm doing. I decided right off the bat I wanted about 75 people because that way I could afford to spend more $$ per person and have a "nicer" wedding, rather than trying to shove everyone I've ever met somewhere cheaper. But if it's important to have tons of people, then that's more important, know what I mean? I will say that a smaller wedding = more one-on-one time with guests.

Vans18 · October 2009

Also another tip of what I did was this... FIRST I decided on a total number WE wanted to pay for, which was 120 then WE wrote down all OUR guests...I counted them. Then what ever was left, I dived the number in half, gave it to both mom's and told them that if they wanted to invite more than that, they would have to pay for them and made it very clear that we were only paying for 120, after that number then its on them. So of course FI's mom thought it was a little bit (37 guests for her to invite) so she invited more, which she is paying for.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · October 2009

And those who pay, say. So if your parents want to invite people, but they aren't paying for the wedding, you have every right to limit how many people they can invite, or to not invite their guests at all.

kcliveoutloud · October 2009

I agree with the others. Cut your list down. If you are paying for everything then you hold most of the power. My husband and I payed for everything and while it caused some stress it helped in these situations. You can only afford so much. Don't feel obligated to invite everyone you know. Like Vans said, if you haven't spoken to or heard from that person in a year or more then they you don't need to invite them. Go for what you want!

garavito_16 · October 2009

If cutting the list down will help you find a place that you absolutely love, than go for it. Talk to your FI and see if it's something he's wiling to do. It's difficult finding a location that can accommodate a guest list of 300 and if you are having trouble, than you should look into cutting it down. When FI and I drafted our guest list, we both agreed that we wanted to keep the guest list down to 150 or less. Then we thought about who we really wanted to be there on our day, such as family and close friends. That mean't that we would leave out some people. It was difficult but it was the only way we would be able to stay within our budget and find a place we both liked.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · October 2009

Oh, and who sent the shower invitations/hosted? Shouldn't that person also have the list?

xxquemirasxx · October 2009

I think Vans gave the best advice if you have NOT received a call or heard from them in the past year DONT invite them. It really will help your pocket, especially since you just had a baby :)I know its difficult, we are only having 80 guest and its tough for us as well, its just not an easy task!

TysWife2Be · October 2009

I had the list! LOL!I sent out (and hand delivered) the invitations...call me crazy but we had invitation boxes so they were over $1 to send...that postage was adding up...I had the master list though...so I added people as they kept coming up or when FI was telling me about who he invited from work. I can look one more time for the list but if I cant find it then oh well. I will try to make it a point to do the preliminary list TONIGHT and talk to FI tonight as well. Gosh, this is driving me insane!I LOVE that you ladies respond back so quickly!I like the idea from Vans...that makes a LOT of sense...also, if I got back in contact with you from MySpace and we were not in touch for a long time prior to that, you shouldnt be invited either!

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · October 2009

I'm probably inviting some family I haven't seen in several years (mostly because they live out of state) but yeah, I think that's the exception to the rule!

Soon2B Mrs.V · October 2009

I laughed when you said to cut it down to only 200. I had a little over 100, and I thought that it was hard to get around to all those people during the reception. To me, 119 was a lot of people. Save yourself the dinero and cut the list down.

JenLeu · October 2009

I agree with what the other ladies said. Decide what the priority is: having a ton of guests or having a smaller, but nicer wedding. We only invited people who we socialize with on a regular basis. The exception to that were some family members who live out of town/state. We work at the same place, but we only invited coworkers who we see outside of work. It was tough cutting the list down, but it made things so much easier and we loved the feel of the smaller guest list. We invited 150 and ended up with about 120 guests. It was the perfect size and we were able to afford the wedding of our dreams. =)Good luck!

Melistar85 · October 2009

Eeekkk, 300 sounds like a whole lot. Of course, if you & Fi have the Budget for it, and are sure that you want those 300 people there, then we are not here to tell you to cut the guestlist or what not. But, you asked if we think about cutting the list? I have to agree with PP. Definitely look over the guestlist make sure that these are people that are truly care & are close to you and your Fi. When we started doing the guestlist we went well above 240 people. That was out of the question, especially when you kind of think about how much you are willing to spend per person, per plate, and what we can afford. We quickly cut it down to 150, and have since sticked to it. If there is people that you have not spoken to in years, have not seen them, dont know your fiance, and vise-versa, I say: they should be cut off g.list, or move them into a B-list. Sorry to hear that the Reception place you had in mind might not end up working for you. What is it that you are looking for? You have to try and see what is your priority, and what you can live without. People will not remember the Chandeliers in the ceiling, or the color of the carpet... That is something I had to sit back, take in, and Now I am okay with the place we chose....

TysWife2Be · October 2009

Thank you for all of your input ladies...I think it is more important to me to have the wedding of our dreams instead of trying to make sure that everyone is there. I just wonder what FI will think about it...I will probably talk to him later on tonight and see how he feels about it too.

[Deleted User] · October 2009

I really don't see the point of either of you inviting people from work to your wedding. A wedding is a deeply personal event that should be between your family and your closest friends. As such, I feel that professional associates should be kept professional and be left that way. Inviting your coworkers, boss, underlings etc. blurs the line between your personal and professional life and sets the tone for further blurring. In fact I made it a point to tell my mom not to discuss our wedding where she works, since I have worked with her coworkers. It's amazing how people you least expect have the gall to self-invite themselves. My FI has already been approached by several of his coworkers for invitations to the wedding, but when he tells them the wedding is in Los Angeles, they drop it entirely. Better to dodge the situation entirely and not mention it with the exceptions of relevant parties(HR who you may tell that you need to take time off etc.)Cut the list. If you haven't gotten a holiday card, a phone call or spoken to any of these people in the last year, they should not be getting an invite. And no, you are not being impolite by not inviting them, you are simply being prudent.

23sb · October 2009

I was all about quality over quantity for our wedding and I highly recommend it. Everyone commented on how intimate our wedding was and having that was important to me. We wanted to have only our nearest, dearest family and friends surrounding us. It was a challenge enough to talk to all 115 guests. I can't imagine trying to spend time with 300 people. So much goes on around you on your wedding day, you'll want to slash as much as possible and keep it simple. GL! I say cut!

TysWife2Be · October 2009

We have decided to cut indeed! Quality is better than quantity. In the end, it is about the two of us and what we want...thats all! There will be people that are mad, yes, but you cannot please everyone...PERIOD!!!

garavito_16 · October 2009

TysWife2Be I'm glad you and your FI were able to come to an agreement about cutting the guest list. Like you said, this is your day, and if cutting the list down will increase your chances of finding your dream venue, then so be it. After all it's all about the two of you. Besides, you can't please everybody. Even if you invite everyone from the list.

TysWife2Be · November 2009

So we decided on 100 people each for our guest list but the issue is, for me, about 65 people are ALL family...To be honest, I feel like that is too many family members...there are some that I have not talked to in a while but at the same time, I feel obligated to invite every single one of them...How do you determine IF you take off some family members (cousins, great aunts, etc.)

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