Bridal Party Table...

almmtw2011 · February 2010

are they really nessacary, i dont really want one, i want my bridal party to be able to sit where they want with who they want. I am planning on having three tables "reserved" for family, us, and bridal party if they need a chair or want to sit with me and the groom...does this sound tacky?

MOBinFL2008 · February 2010

I'm a little confused about what you are saying. It seems like you're saying that you're only going to have three reserved tables (family, B&G, WP) and no reserved tables for the rest of your guests. If that is your plan then, yes, it is tacky. You can't have tiered seating.....some guests have a table reserved for them and other don't. You need to assign tables for all of your guests.

almmtw2011 · February 2010

yes thats what i was saying. i live in a very small town in kentucky, i have NEVER been to a wedding with assigned seating, its just not used around here...actually most people i talked to (99%) find it to be rediculous. we will offer a chair for each one of our guest (300ish) but not assigned table, we are adults and if we cant find tables to sit at on our own, we have a problem. the reason for the reserve tables for the family and us is because after pictures i dont feel we need to search for a chair, but either way would work i guess.

trix1223 · February 2010

Oh my goodness. In a wedding for 300 people, I'd absolutely have assigned tables. You don't have to assign seats, but tables for that many people I'd consider a must.

To answer your first question: I'd let your WP sit with their SO's and with those other guests with whom they're friendly. They don't have to sit at a WP table either.

At DDs wedding, her sister and SIL (and their dates) sat with the cousins from our side of the family. Her college friends (and dates) sat at the college friend table. And her DH's sister sat with friends from their family. Unless your WP is already all friends, I think it's better to sit them with people they know.

And the unasked question. I know you say that you've never seen a wedding without assigned seating, but 300 guests is a lot of people wandering around trying to decide where to sit.

Doing table assignments is actually a courtesy to your guests. It ensures that people who don't get along won't end up stuck with each other because they're the only open seats left.

It ensures that couples or families won't be split up because there are not enough seats left at any given table when they arrive.

It ensures that Great Aunt Hilda won't be seated with your FIs college frat brothers, or that Grandpa Al won't end up sitting right next to the dj's speakers.

It ensures that your college roommate, who doesn't know anyone but you at the wedding, won't wander the room hoping that she can sit somewhere. (Remember the cafeteria in Jr. High?)

It ensures that you won't have 11 people jammed into a table that seats 8 comfortably because people decided to pull up chairs so they could all sit together.

It also saves you $$, because when you don't have assigned tables, you need to have extras because you WILL end with tables of 4 where you intended to have 8.

I've only been to one wedding without table assignments, and it was a holy mess as people wandered around trying to figure out where they were supposed to sit.

Do table assignments.

gottahavashorti · February 2010

Since you don't want to do table assignments, have plenty of extra seating available so that people can sit with their friends. 300 guests and 300 chairs with open seating means that there may be one odd person out of various groups, couples split up, that sort of thing.

Your families and bridal party having to search out seats is an unfortunate result of open seating unless they are able to call dibs on a seat before the guests enter the reception area. A head table is definitely not necessary, you could have a sweethard table for you and your FI.

duckie1905 · February 2010

I envision a 300 person clustereff when it is time to choose seats. I would have at least 4 or 5 extra tables. Your guests won't sit in perfect groups of 8 or 10 and not having extra seating is a good way to ensure that couples are split up and guests are sitting with people they don't like and/or know.

mbcdefg · February 2010

300 people trying to find a seat sounds like a logistical nightmare. I think the open seating thing would work better for a smaller wedding ... in your case, I would either assign tables or at least have a few extra tables if you insist on open seating. That way, couples/families won't get separated when everyone makes a dash for the best tables.

It's fine not to have a bridal party table. What's tacky is to separate them from their dates (at a bridal party-only table). It's very considerate to just let them sit with their dates, and if you want to let them sit with their friends then that's nice as well.

As for only reserving tables for family and the bridal party ... I get your point, but I also think that it could potentially cause bad feelings with other guests. "Why are THEY good enough to have an assigned seat, but I'm stuck in the back with a bunch of strangers because I got here 5 minutes late?" Know what I mean?

Lasairiona · February 2010

An exception can be made to what people are normally used to. Even with very small guest lists, assigned seating is mandatory and is mass chaos without it. With 300+ guests, you are asking for trouble if you don't have assigned seating. Setting aside a couple tables just for family will not solve the problem as some people don't agree with what the cutoff should be as to who is eligible to sit in the designated special seating and who isn't.

With events of any size, if there no assigned seating, it turns into a complete nightmare in which couples and families get split up without fail. Also, there will be people, guaranteed, who save seats for other guests who never even sit with them and then refuse to give up those empty chairs for any reason, even if it means that someone has no choice but to sit on the floor or someone else's lap. Contrary to popular belief, those scenarios happen as well.

Even if no one else on your guest list agrees with your logic, assigned seating really is your best bet unless you want to deal with any or all of the above situations occurring, which they will.

banana468 · February 2010

Please at least assign tables to your guests. With 300 people, you'll need a surplus of 30 chairs and at least 3-4 tables if you're going to have open seating...which IS indeed going to be one chaotic issue.

And absolutely seat your BP with their dates.

megk8oz · February 2010

Ditto the PPs, for that many guests, please assign tables. You don't need to assign chairs, but tables are a good thing. This way guests can sit with people they know and like (Do you think Aunt Mildred will really have a good time if the only seat available for her is at a table of the groom's frat brothers?). I've heard all sorts of horror stories where people are in the bathroom and wind up not being able to get 2 seats next to each other (So they can't sit with their date), or older guests getting stuck next to the DJ ... where they really don't want to be.

And granted "special" seating for the BP and Parents and not for everybody else is just kind of rude in general. Yes, these people are important, but if you're going to take the time to make sure they get a nice seat with their dates, then please grant your other guests this courtesy. Despite what most brides make it sound like, unless 90% of your guests hate each other, a seating chart really isn't all that hard to do (Just put people with people they'd enjoy sitting with).

Please note, I'm only advising this so strongly because of your number of guests. If it were only like 50 people, I don't think it would be so bad, but 300 is just asking for some level of chaos.

almmtw2011 · February 2010

thank you MYNAMEISNOT...that was really helpful. and we plan on having a few tables atleast of extra seating, becuase we know the tables wont completely fill,and dragging of chairs and such..

ninjasgirl · February 2010

I'm from a small town in KY and every wedding I have been to has assigned seating. And I agree that not assigning seating is tacky and unorganized. If you want your bridal party to be able to sit with their significant others or friends then so a sweethearts table for just you and your husband.

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