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Fighting over the guest list!

My Mom is contributing some $ to the wedding. My fiance and I are paying for everything else. Well, we started working on preliminary guest list just to get an idea of how many people we might have. My Mom wants to invite old friends she hasn't seen in years, co-workers, etc. First off we don't want a huge guest list nor do I think it's a time to reconnect with people she hasn't seen in years. She says she will cover their portion of food, but it isn't jsut that. We would have to order extra tables, linens, chairs, centerpieces, alcohol, etc. Am I being unreasonable? Anyone else deal with this?

Re: Fighting over the guest list!

  • cutypie953cutypie953
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You definitely are not alone in this.  The biggest arguments my FI and I and our familes have had were over the guest list.  At first my parents and FI parents said the same thing yours did "We'll cover our guests food" but you are correct, we've noticed extra guests are not just extra food, but extra invites, favors, tables and linens and all this means extra centerpeices for the extra tables.  My FI and I finally said "Ok, we are inviting ___ number of people.  The bride's side got 1/3 of the total number, groom's side got 1/3 and our friends made up the last 1/3."  This worked well when we put our foot down about costs and that way no one side gets more guests than the other.  Leave extra wiggle room in that number though.  You never know, there are always those 5-6 people that you didn't think of when you made the list that really deserve a place.  GL!
  • edited December 2011
    If they say they are going to pay for the portion of people they want there then give them the bill for the linens, tables, alcohol, etc. If they think its too much then they will say no way and then you tell them sorry then they are not going to be invited.


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  • sduncans09sduncans09
    edited December 2011
    Will they actually come?   Our wedding was out of town so my parents friends didn't attend.  We fought over inviting so many, but it was really more of an announcement than anything else, so we said go ahead.  I would ask your mom to only invite closer friends since it sounds like you are doing that yourselves.
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