Stepson in Wedding question

Re: Stepson in Wedding question

• trix1223 member

  

  November 2009

  Another thing to think about here. It's wonderful that you care about your future stepson, and that he's standing up with his dad. BUT, if his mom is still in the picture here, you may risk making him very uncomfortable. It might almost seem to him like you're asking him to deny his mom. I'm not saying you're doing this, but having something "sentimental" and creative might make him very uncomfortable. Being BM in a wedding is a HUGE deal and an honor. I really don't think you need to, nor necessarily should, do more than that. My final thought: a wedding is about two consenting adults coming together to pledge to each other. Your stepson, while an important part of your family, is NOT part the vows you and his dad are making to each other. I assume that you didn't ask him if he was okay with his dad marrying you. Let him be BM, and call it all good.

  "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146

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• aerinpegadrak member

  

  November 2009

  Some, but not all, 16 year old girls are sentimental.  I don't think I've ever met at 16 year old boy that WOULDN'T rather slit open his wrists with a butter knife than engage in something sentimental.I'm sure he'll be happy enough to be the best man.  Somehow, I doubt he's interested in anything beyond that.

  This is a neglected planning bio.
  This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.
  
  
  Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284

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• hollieheidi member

  

  November 2009

  Ask him.  I'm sure he'll either say "nothing" or he'll let you know what he wants.  It may mean more to him to help set up or come up with interesting flavors of cake, but there really isn't alot that ANYONE else in the wedding party does during the ceremony besides the bride and groom.  Maybe include him in the toast at the reception, but during the ceremony there really isn't much else.

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• kathjack95

  

  November 2009

  Ask him if he would honor you with a "spotlight dance" at the reception.

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• fyrelle74 member

  

  November 2009

  agreed..ask him...some kids want to be more involved and some do not. Mine do, and I only know because I asked

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