MOH question (really long!)

windrilene · November 2009

So... I am about 6 months out from the wedding, and have yet to choose my MOH. I know who I want to be BMs, and they all know as well, and accepted, but I have been stressed beyond belief at having to choose between them! Did anybody else have to deal with this? I have 2 younger sisters, a college friend, and my "big brother" who I grew up with who I would like to stand up for me. My middle sister, who I am closer to, has been campaigning since I got engaged to be my MOH, but I don't want to pick between the siblings and cause potential bad blood (or at least aggravating, unecessary drama) between us/them. That would leave my best gal pal from college, and my best guy friend for forever. The trick is my sisters despise my gal pal, and would be incredibly offended if I picked her over them. If I pick a sister, it would also put FI in an awkward position since he also has 2 brothers, and one of them has just started campaigning to be BM, despite FI asking another friend already. My guy friend would seem the most diplomatic choice, since there would be no cat-fighting over it, since they all know and love him, and know how close we are. I mentioned this to both mothers tho, and they think it's bizzare, and think people will think he's gay (he's not), and keep trying to put me on the groom's side (neither FI or I care which side he's on, but he wants to be on mine). My extended family is also very conservative, and I don't want the male MOH to be the one thing they remember from my wedding. And on a trivial note, I also worry the pics would look weird, not because uneven male/female, but because FI and guy friend are both over 6'4'', and I am a solid foot shorter, and would be between them in every pic. Sorry this is so long, I have been over and over the pros and cons, talked to everybody I know so many times and still can't decide, and would love a totally impartial look at it. Thanks so much!

Terriniski · November 2009

Not sure if this is very helpful - but I have two sisters and ended up picking the older of the two (although I'm pretty sure my mom had made the decision and would have killed me if I had suggested any alternative). I think the thought was that we'd end up rotating... so the youngest would be the MOH for the middle sister's wedding and I would be the MOH for the youngest sister's wedding. Not sure if it'll indeed play out that way, and I honestly don't care if I'm a MOH for either of their weddings, but an arrangement like that would alleviate any pressure to "choose between" two sisters.

Lizard5 · November 2009

I took part in my best friend's wedding, and she had a "Man of honor" in her wedding. It was awesome! He is one of her closest friends also, and he played the role perfectly. He even did all of the MOH duties of holding the basket during the cash dance (which he thought was the funnest job). This would be a perfect solution for avoiding conflict in your family! People at her wedding did not assume he was gay (which he is not gay). As for the pictures, if he is going to be in your wedding party, he will be in the pics all the same. And If your family is a bit traditional, and wouldn't appreciate a male MOH, that shouldn't be your deciding factor. You should choose whoever you think would best suit you and your needs for your wedding. As an alternative, you could choose both of your sisters! Both sides of the WP do not need to be equal. Hope this helps

Good luck!

BalletBride620 · November 2009

I'm not gonna lie, I didn't read the whole thing, but do you have to have a MOH? Can they all be BMs? After my MOH (Who was the shortest anyway) we had the girls line up by height so that no one's feelings were hurt.Oh and on the pictures looking weird, our MOH was 4'11" and BM was 6'4"

It doesn't matter

Mariah&Steven · November 2009

You don't have to have an MOH.If it's going to cause issues, just don't do it. It's your wedding, not your parents. You don't owe anyone an explanation. If you want your guy friend to be your "man of honor" ask how he feels about it. Ask him if he would be uncomfortable in that roll. Don't worry about what other people say.I think you're putting too much thought into this.

Tiffany618 · November 2009

Choose the one who is most important in your life. Period. It doesn't matter what your parents your sisters or you friends think. If they are all equally important, then don't have a MoH... or have more than one.

pphqt10 · November 2009

I have two, my best friend and my sister. HTH

lindsey0386 · November 2009

We're not having a MOH or a BM. We're simply having all bridesmaids and groomsmen. I'm having my brother stand on my side and he will stand right next to me for appearance purposes, then everyone else will line up according to height. Don't get stuck on what ou should and shouldn't do. Just do what you feel is best. In your situation, however, I don't think choosing a sister to be a MOH would be the best idea if you have the slightest incling there might be wedding day drama. No one wants unnecessary stress.

amber&richard05 · November 2009

Skip picking a Maid of Honor. They will all be by your side and that is really all you want, not to stir up drama.

windrilene · November 2009

Thanks ladies! I know I'm overthinking, and sometimes you just need someone to tell you that to make it real. As of now it looks like we'll just do no honor attendants and all BM/GM.

MOH question (really long!)

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