really?

headed2yale · November 2009

So my mom has decided she is going to give me the silver from when she got married to my dad. This is super sweet, but kind of funny. In case you didn't read one of my last posts, my FMIL offered her China from when she got married to FI's father. It was never opened and I wasn't sure what to do. I can't tell if my mom is jealous or not. The problem is they haven't met and I think my mom is afraid once the problems are worked out with his family that she will lose seeing me forever. She is going through a lot of stuff with my sisters. Should I try to get them to meet soon? My FMIL is throwing me a shower at some point and is inviting my mother. Do you think they need to meet before then? If so, how do I go about them meeting? I live two hours away and typically only come home for holidays and special occasions. Suggestions?

tmm140 · November 2009

I would have your FMIL involve your mom in the shower planning. My MIL took over my shower but involved my mom and sister. They had also met prior to the shower at a casual cookout at my moms.

YaPuppy · November 2009

I agree, try to have them both meet beforehand if you can, and try to get your mom involved if at all possible. My fmil called my mom to tell her she wanted to throw me a shower, and my mom mentioned my cousin/maid of honor had wanted to, but with the help of the moms. Turns out his mom had already had the entire thing planned - place, date, invites, etc. and hadn't bothered to check with my mom or anyone else. Long story short, my mom asked to be involved, his mom got offended that she couldn't take care of the entire thing, and apparently now has opted out completely and wants nothing to do with it at all. Our moms no longer speak and can't be around each other. Clearly, this is a drastic instance, and doesn't usually happen, but, I would still say if you think your mom seems a little jealous, have them meet beforehand and try to work together to nip that in the bud early. Maybe try to go home randomly between holidays or something for a brunch or something, and even tell them both you'd like for them to meet and get to know each other?

headed2yale · November 2009

I have an appointment with my hair stylist to bring in my veil and figure out how we are going to do my hair for the wedding. My mom already said she would go, maybe I could invite my FMIL along?

salt78 · November 2009

Awww you are getting married the week after me!!

headed2yale · November 2009

It's exciting! How are you handling the snow problem?

salt78 · November 2009

Not dealing with it. We are getting in the Caribbean. As long as our flight can get out, we're good to go!

e_jakiela · November 2009

I agree with everyone else. Get your moms to meet beforehand, it's for the better of all. If they are ok with eath other they will be even more comfortable doing things together in preparation for your wedding. If they do not click well, there is still time to discuss and clear out anythign that could mess your wedding day.If you don't know how to get them to meet, think about the weekend shopping, or brunch where you all could discuss wedding plans... Things like: last dress fitting, or shoe shopping or anything else for your wedding attire could be a great chance for them to meet, and since the attention would be on you, they would feel less pressure to chat about their lives and make friends...

salt78 · November 2009

*getting married. Duh.

headed2yale · November 2009

That sounds like so much fun! We are planning on taking a cruise to the Caribbean for our honeymoon. What part of the Caribbean do you suggest going to?

salt78 · November 2009

We are getting married in Turks and Caicos, which is apparently awesome, but I won't know for sure until 4 days before the wedding.

I've heard good things about Caribbean as a whole. I really don't think you can go wrong with a Caribbean cruise.

georgia_bride09 · November 2009

h2y, do Eastern Carribbean!! Western Carribbean pretty much = Mexico. All of the Carribbean islands are gorgeous.

headed2yale · November 2009

Thanks. Anything specific to make sure we see?

skippylouwho · November 2009

2 hours is really not far at all. If your mom and FMIL live in the same town or reasonably close, make the trip up there and all of you go to lunch where you can sit and talk.OR have them drive an hour towards you, you drive an hour towards them and meet at a restaurant in the middle. If they don't live close to each other, pick a restaurant somewhere as central to all of you as possible. My suggestion is to let them meet somewhere without a lot of other people or stress around. Eating lunch together would take about an hour if you sit and talk about the wedding, where you two will live after you get married, etc. Then each can go their own way. They don't have to spend an entire day together. You want them to get along for a lifetime so make the effort now to get them together. I'm the mother of a bride-to-be and the mother of a groom-to-be. I'm very lucky, we get along extremely well with all the other parents. Our son's fiance took us and her parents to lunch last summer so we could meet (before they were engaged) and we met our daughter's future in-laws the weekend she and her now fiance' graduated from college a year ago. We're very lucky, our kids are marrying in to families with nice, sane people. Very lucky. I just hope they think the same thing about us!

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