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How to just ask for $

sarahb&jasondsarahb&jasond member
First Comment
in Registry and Gift Forum
Help!  My fiance and I already have 2 houses full of items and don't need to upgrade anything.  A week after the wedding I am going across the country for 4 months for a project and he is moving to Guam (I will follow when the project is complete).  I don't really have the need for wedding presents and we will be moved out of the house by then anyways.  How do I politey tell peple that I just want money b/c I don't have the need for "stuff" or a place to put it after the wedding?
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Re: How to just ask for $

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    MacFreitas7MacFreitas7
    First Comment

    You can't ask for money. That would be entirely and completely RUDE.

    If you have "everything you need and 2 houses full" then just don't register and decline any showers that are offered to you.

    If your friends and family are close with you, they may already understand your situation and will give you $ as a gift.

    You can't expect that everyone that comes to your wedding will give you money, and you shouldn't expect it... Also, don't expect everyone to even give you a gift... you shouldn't expect anything!

    Asking for $ is rude.

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    SnippylynnSnippylynn member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    Just say, "Oh, we're not registering.  We have a lot of household items already!" 
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    Wedding stuff.
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    frogurt814frogurt814
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_just-ask?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:340674d0-9531-4785-9974-38b34d6e853aPost:1c2d23e7-8f7a-4983-928c-f52b310bfad7">Re: How to just ask for $</a>:
    [QUOTE]You just do not ask your guest for cash! RUDE, RUDE, RUDE!! Like others have said, don't register. You may still get a few random boxed gifts, but if that is what your guests wants to give, then too bad. You also should not have any bridal showers, since the purpose of the shower is to shower the bride with gifts, not cash. People are not stupid they will get the hint and know cash is always appreciated. If you are asked directly just tell them what you said here, since you both will be moving, you are not doing a registry. 
    Posted by MNVegas[/QUOTE]
    Pretend I said exactly this too.
    image
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    megandjaymegandjay member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_just-ask?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:340674d0-9531-4785-9974-38b34d6e853aPost:1c2d23e7-8f7a-4983-928c-f52b310bfad7">Re: How to just ask for $</a>:
    [QUOTE]You just do not ask your guest for cash! RUDE, RUDE, RUDE!! Like others have said, don't register. You may still get a few random boxed gifts, but if that is what your guests wants to give, then too bad. You also should not have any bridal showers, since the purpose of the shower is to shower the bride with gifts, not cash. People are not stupid they will get the hint and know cash is always appreciated.<strong> If you are asked directly just tell them what you said here, since you both will be moving, you are not doing a registry. 
    </strong>Posted by MNVegas[/QUOTE]

    This.
    ~For Sale~
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    sarahb&jasondsarahb&jasond member
    First Comment
    Thanks for the advice.  I will try to be tactful to people if/when they bring it up.

    Of course I am not asking for a bridal shower.  All four of my bridesmaids live in 4 different states.  Probably won't do a batcholerette party either cause no one I know has time to travel for pleasure.

    I am almost to busy to get married, let alone do the pomp and circumstance of the pre-wedding stuff that I am probably too old for.  I am getting married on Sat. and flying across country for a project on Tues.  My better half is taking care of the move and flying halfway across the world about a week later.
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    slambarrislambarri
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    Well I do appreciate someone askign this question since I was about to ask the same. We have been living together for 2 years and have a full house and no need for stuff. I thought about just asking for money as well but wasn't sure how to do it or if it would be appropriate. The good thing is that the idea has already been suggested by both of our parents.
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    sister2groomsister2groom
    First Comment

    Nope, not appropriate to ask for money. I think asking for money sort of insults the intelligence of guests, it’s pretty obvious money would be as useful or more so than gifts, but gifts aren’t 100% about usefulness. But for your case, I don’t think you should have a problem as long as people know you’re moving to Guam, they’ll figure it out. I mean you’d have to have not flown in 10 years for baggage allowances to not occur to you.

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    mariemoten129mariemoten129
    First Comment
    Everyone just FREAKED out!!! lol.. i've never read so many people flipping out on one of these boards until now.

    obviously i think she knew it wasn't "right" to ask for money. I think she was just trying to ask for ways to figure out how to get the idea across to guests. :)

    good advice though ladies!
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