Stuck In the Middle. (vent)

Re: Stuck In the Middle. (vent)

• SarahPLiz member

  

  June 2010

  keep ignoring his texts, and tell her that the reason he's calling and texting you is to ask about her, and that you are ignoring him, because you don't want to get in the middle of it.  They need to have their own big blowup fight without any other person running interference. You are right that its not your business, so you need to stick with that.
  
  I have been in your place a couple times, most recently with my BFF, except her H didn't call me. I know, however, that he would fully expect me to tell him if he asked. Not gonna happen. I already told her that its her business, and I would talk until I am blue in the face to try to get to the bottom of WHY and try to help her stop and get her marriage back on track. Now she has stopped and their marriage is doing much better, but she still hasn't told her husband. I don't think its my place to tell him either.

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• [Deleted User]

  

  June 2010

  I'd tell him, but that's just me. I wouldn't be friends with someone like this, let alone best friends, so I wouldn't feel bad about outing her. This girl doesn't deserve him and he obviously knows, just refuses to believe it until someone confirms his suspicions. And I always think about the other person's health--who knows what she is bringing home to him. it's disgusting to think about. What if she gives him an STD?
  
  And where does she get off telling you not to do anything with her boyfriend when she's whoring around every other night? Total fvcking hypocrite. Why are you friends with her?

  Report0 Reply
• MissDuke2012

  

  June 2010 edited June 2010

  Our friendship has definitely taken a hit because of this. We used to see each other everyday for lunch. Now, I make other plans. I don't know why she's cheating on him, i haven't asked, but its not like her. She's never been like this with any other guy.
  
  Her and her BF aren't having sex. They haven't in like two weeks. And that's probably why he thinks she's cheating.

  
  Planning Bio

  Report0 Reply
• megk8oz member

  

  June 2010 edited June 2010

  I would just tell him. Mainly because, now, you've been asked more than once ... I'm pretty sure the guy knows and is just looking for confirmation. Unless he's a severely paranoid person in general, most guys would back off the first time somebody said "I don't know" on such a subject.
  
  I know that you want to be loyal to your friend ... but in a case like this, where she's doing something you know is morally wrong, I don't see why you would owe her loyalty.  She honestly doesn't even sound like somebody you shouldn't be friends with. Actions speak louder than words, and by showing her that you're still her friend, you can verbally "oppose" her all you want, but she still sees that you're on some small scale condoning her behavior.
  
  Anyway, look at it like this, say you were being cheated on, and you asked around about it ... if somebody knew, wouldn't you want them to tell you? Personally, as much as it would kill me to hear it, I'd want somebody to be honest with me if my S/O couldn't be.

  
  If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
  
  
  "Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar

  Report0 Reply
• forrma7 member

  

  June 2010

  i would really have a heart to heart with you best friend. tell her that she put you in a very uncomfortable position and that it's not fair for you to be responsible for this kind of information.

  if it were me, i'd tell her that if she didn't come clean by the end of the week, you were gonna do it. i agree with some of the other ladies, i'd want someone to tell me, but it sounds like he definitely already knows.

  

  Report0 Reply
• MissDuke2012

  

  June 2010

  I would want someone to tell me too. But, I'm worried about the drama aspect. We all know how girls are. And I have enough going on without out having to deal with her. We live in the same neighborhood, 4 houses down from each other.
  
  I'm just starting to plan my wedding, in the process of helping plan my brothers (he's in Iraq), going to school full time, and I work full time. I'm already drained as it is. I know Ansley and her drama. She's been known to be a little feisty.

  
  Planning Bio

  Report0 Reply
• qtxvixen

  

  June 2010

  I would've said not to say anything to him before, but now they're making it your business by coming to you. You wanna be fair to both parties, but I don't see that happening here. Either your best friend is going to be mad at you for a long time or her boyfriend will thank you for telling him and being honest. You're in a tough situation here, but if she really is your best friend, she should understand. They both have put you in a sticky situation and they really shouldn't have. Sure, they can come to you for advice and vent to you, etc, but now it's getting to a point where you're in the middle of it...that's bad any way you slice it...you have to do what feels right for you..you have to be true to yourself first. Best of luck!

  

  Report0 Reply
• banana468 member

  

  June 2010

  She's having SEX with this guy?
  
  Tell her that she has to tell him or you'll tell him.  She could give him an STD and he's being lied to by you and your friend.
  
  I've been cheated on and I don't have a lot of respect for people who keep that secret.  You're talking about someone's health here.

  Report0 Reply
• Simply Fated member

  

  June 2010

  Your friend... is kind of a crappy friend for putting you in this position.
  
  And this Brody sounds like he's a douchebag, too, trying to get you to rat her out.
  
  Are you good friends with Brody? Does he usally text you ten times a day and constantly call you?
  
  

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• MissDuke2012

  

  June 2010 edited June 2010

  Actually he NEVER texts me. Unless we all have plans for the weekend.
  
  I told her just a little bit ago if she didn't tell him I would. She has until Friday. We'll see how this goes.

  
  Planning Bio

  Report0 Reply
• mstar284 member

  

  June 2010

  I am not the type to "report" anyone. I caught my neighbor cheating on her fiance, but I never said anything because it's not my responsiblity to wreck or save their relationship. I'm sure they do that on their own. But since they are putting you in the middle, it doesn't give you much choice. If someone kept pestering me about it over and over, day after day (especially if your friend is being a bitch about it by accusing YOU of all people of cheating), I would just lay it all out on the table for them. Then I would probably tell them to go screw themselves and to stop airing their dirty laundry.

  
  
  
  
  

  Report0 Reply
• andy71781 member

  

  June 2010

  I'm annoyed that she accused you of cheating with him.  At that point I'd be ready to say goodbye to the relationship.  Put it back on her and say - if you don't tell him by ___ date I am going to. 

  Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml

  Report0 Reply
• cococabanagrl

  

  June 2010

  Wow. I guess if he did call you to ask if she was in the first place, then deep down he has to have an idea. He was looking for validation. She has to be the one to tell him. You could pull a 3 person meeting if she doesn't tell him by such a date.

  Finally, a Mrs!

  Report0 Reply
• MissDuke2012

  

  June 2010 edited June 2010

  She told him today. He left her. We're no longer friends.
  
  Her ex-bf is now moving in with us until he can find an apartment of his own. Her name is on the lease and his parents live in KY. Needless to say she's not happy.

  
  Planning Bio

  Report0 Reply