Wedding Etiquette Forum

WR(!): Alternate wedding

Sucrets' post inspired me to post something wedding-related. Let's imagine a scenario...

If you could magically have two completely different weddings around the same time (like in a parallel universe), what would your other wedding be like? If you're engaged or married, how would it be different than the one you are having/had (season, type of venue, dress, colors, food)? Would it be different at all?

p.s. In this scenario, budget is not an issue.




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Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

"cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
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Re: WR(!): Alternate wedding

  • Can I claim Bec's wedding?
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  • I would have a Disney ballroom wedding.
  • I would bump up the wedding that I'm having so FI could have every single thing he wants. Not like a NYC wedding, just nicer than we can afford  now. And then I would have a beach wedding with just our parents and no real reception, just a really fancy dinner afterwards. That's what I wanted from the very begining. It still sucks that I can't have that.
    "In the old days my ass would be in your back yard picking cotton, so excuse me if I don't put much stock in how f*cking awesome the old days were." -Nuggs
  • Ooh, I want Bec's wedding too, or Expat's.

    Navy, are you serious? Not being snarky, just wondering if you are. ;)

    I had a small, fall wedding in New England. My alternate wedding would have been in the Spring, at this Tudor-style castle nestled in the Rockies in Colorado. I still would have used purple, but probably lavender instead with lots of lilacs. My dress actually would have been similar: fitted, flowing, with lace and beading.



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    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • My other wedding would be crazy UES Manhattan princess.  I'd spend a trillion dollars on everything, and invite a trillion guests for a decadent sit-down dinner at some ultra-posh hotel.

    Instead of cake & punch with tissue pom-poms in my church basement Smile
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  • I would've gotten married on a beach in Mexico with a mariachi band. Sigh.
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  • I'd have a nicer Hawaii wedding than we will probably have, pay for everyone's travel expenses and fancy bamboo canopies and VIP night at a nightclub on Waikiki.

    Alternate universe. I'd do a big fancy city wedding like in New York.
  • I loved the simplicity of our weddding. It's just a day. I know people say they would change this or that, but I dont know that I really would. It wouldn't make a difference. Same guy. Same vows. Same people.

    No matter when or where, how big or small the event, I got me a husband out of the deal, and I really, really love how we did it. <---- that's what she said.

    I think the longer we are married, the more you realize that it really is JUST a day. A super important day, but a day nonetheless.

     
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  • LVB, that sounds really nice. What kept you guys from the beach?

    Pinksuperhero, tissue pom poms can be awesome. Did you see Bec's?



    image
    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • We're doing a destination beach wedding out of the country.  If budget was not an issue and it was a totally different scenerio we probably would have had a wedding locally, but done a winter/Christmas time wedding, or one at an aquarium.

     It seems a little theme-y but my future parents in law went to one and said it was amazing with the blue and purple colors, and the big tanks all lit up and stuff.  Random, but different for our area at least, so it seems cool in theory
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wr-alternate-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:aa7fe799-fcec-4e9e-bb72-513510cf79d5Post:e6282184-be37-4b2d-bf7e-47a5b27b394e">Re: WR(!): Alternate wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]LVB, that sounds really nice. What kept you guys from the beach? Pinksuperhero, tissue pom poms can be awesome. Did you see Bec's?
    Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]
    FI wanted his stupid pretty princess day and I just want to make him happy. So here I am planning a wedding that I kinda hate and having to be really creative with the money we have to give him what he wants.
    "In the old days my ass would be in your back yard picking cotton, so excuse me if I don't put much stock in how f*cking awesome the old days were." -Nuggs
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wr-alternate-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:aa7fe799-fcec-4e9e-bb72-513510cf79d5Post:21a183b8-8a24-4fb6-aa35-f3762715c68d">Re: WR(!): Alternate wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]I loved the simplicity of our weddding. It's just a day. I know people say they would change this or that, but I dont know that I really would. It wouldn't make a difference. Same guy. Same vows. Same people. No matter when or where, how big or small the event, I got me a husband out of the deal, and I really, really love how we did it. <---- that's what she said. I think the longer we are married, the more you realize that it really is JUST a day. A super important day, but a day nonetheless.  
    Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]
    Wise words Fischy. All I want is a husband from that day.
    "In the old days my ass would be in your back yard picking cotton, so excuse me if I don't put much stock in how f*cking awesome the old days were." -Nuggs
  • Oh, I love my pom-poms! (even just blogged about them, complete with pictures of FI wearing one as a hat)  I'm just saying, in my alternate UES Manhattan princess fantasy wedding, no tissue-paper anything allowed.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wr-alternate-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:aa7fe799-fcec-4e9e-bb72-513510cf79d5Post:d102b40c-41fb-4e2e-bfc7-6fef61d8978d">Re: WR(!): Alternate wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]Navy, are you serious? Not being snarky, just wondering if you are. ;)
    Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]

    Yes, I'm serious.  They have gorgeous ballrooms and I've seen some beautiful weddings done there.  I wouldn't incorporate any Disney elements, but I would love to have it on their property.
  • Note that I interpreted this question not as "What would you RATHER have had?" but "What would you ALSO have had?". I loved my wedding and I definitely wouldn't have traded it ... but if only I lived in a world where I could have two weddings. (Oh, wait.)

    Wink
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  • edited December 2009
    I would have had a completely outdoors reception with gorgeous decorations and vintage mismatched plates. With no obligatory relative invites (beyond my immediate family, who I would want there!). 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wr-alternate-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:aa7fe799-fcec-4e9e-bb72-513510cf79d5Post:fee137b1-0bc4-4d07-b2de-975c031489e6">Re: WR(!): Alternate wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: WR(!): Alternate wedding : FI wanted his stupid pretty princess day and I just want to make him happy. So here I am planning a wedding that I kinda hate and having to be really creative with the money we have to give him what he wants.
    Posted by louisvillebride21[/QUOTE]

    Sorry, I had to laugh at your FI's "stupid pretty princess day." ;) Though I'm sorry it's not totally what you want. You're a good pre-wife.

    Fishy, that's refreshing to hear. I feel the same way, but I've already had my day, so now I can talk about my hypothetical wedding as well as the real one.

    Ooooh, aquarium wedding... blue and green...



    image
    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • (I should add that I think our wedding was the most awesome thing ever and I wouldn't change a thing. But if I had to have a second wedding, that's what I'd do).
  • FI and I were both just talking about what if anything we'd do differently if we had an unlimited budget (I'd been watching Platinum Weddings).  We agreed that it'd largely look the same - just upgrade the venue to a private estate and pay for travel for our guests.  But we'd still be having a very small wedding on Maui, basically doing the same stuff.  I think that's a good sign...  :)
  • I laugh at it/him too. He's such a girl sometimes. At least he is willing to help me with anything I want. I don't want his help because I don't think he can do it as well as I can. I'm doing a ton of DIY and I just don't trust him to do it as perfectly as my failed-perfectionist self wants. I just suck it up because all I want is to be married to him. Everything else is just fluff. If he needs the fluff (heh) to make him happy, then that's what he'll get.

    I understand it though. I only have 5 people coming to the wedding (parents, aunt, uncle and cousin) and he has a fairly big family. So I can see how it's important for him to have his family there.
    "In the old days my ass would be in your back yard picking cotton, so excuse me if I don't put much stock in how f*cking awesome the old days were." -Nuggs
  • We are having a huge fall wedding in a historic hotel ballroom. I think my alternate wedding would be a super simple and fun Vegas wedding! FI and I seriously contemplated it when we got engaged. I think it would have been tons of fun!
    "does this sweater make me look fat?" "no, the fact that your fat makes you look fat. That sweater just makes you look purple".
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wr-alternate-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:aa7fe799-fcec-4e9e-bb72-513510cf79d5Post:2259527d-1750-418e-8a89-f9092f153df3">Re: WR(!): Alternate wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>Note that I interpreted this question not as "What would you RATHER have had?" but "What would you ALSO have had?".</strong> I loved my wedding and I definitely wouldn't have traded it ... but if only I lived in a world where I could have two weddings. (Oh, wait.)
    Posted by ring_pop[/QUOTE]

    And that's exactly how I meant it too. :)



    image
    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • I'd add an awesome videographer to our current plans.  And a bigger cake (I want extra, leftover cake, damnit!).  And uber luxurious OOT bags.  Like, $100 each or more for what I'd love to do.  And with 30 - 40 rooms. . . yeah.  And I'd step up the pre-wedding stuff (OOT BBQ on Thursday, going to the races on Friday - I'd do an awesome suite with food & alcohol instead of just transportation).

    Really, if budget weren't an issue, I don't think I'd leave Kentucky - I'd just step it up to the ultimate KY wedding.  We got engaged at Churchill Downs, so it seems fitting.
    DIY & Planning | Married 

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  • edited December 2009
    All these alternate weddings are really nice (as are the actual weddings). I've always been struck by comments from people who say things like, "your wedding/ring/dress was so you," and I never felt that one day or thing could really capture my personality. I'm too indecisive anyway. :) So it's weird to think about a wedding that is totally different than mine, and to feel that it could have just as easily been my wedding too had things gone differently. The husband/partner really is the most important thing at the end of the day. :)



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    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • Vegas this weekend with my love
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  • edited December 2009
    My would be like Daffodil Jill's, with purple and blue. I'd have violets, lilac, forget-me-nots. It would basically be a spring wedding in the woods somewhere. Outdoor ceremony. 

    My for-real wedding is in a chapel on Columbus Day weekend with a reception at a small country club, and it will be fall-themed (creative, I know).

    And in my fantasy world, I'd have unlimited free time on my hands, and I'd DIY everything. At this point, I'm probably only DIYing my centerpieces. In alternate wedding land, I'd do invites, all other paper products, maybe even flowers, cake and dresses. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wr-alternate-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:aa7fe799-fcec-4e9e-bb72-513510cf79d5Post:21a183b8-8a24-4fb6-aa35-f3762715c68d">Re: WR(!): Alternate wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]I loved the simplicity of our weddding. It's just a day. I know people say they would change this or that, but I dont know that I really would. It wouldn't make a difference. Same guy. Same vows. Same people.  
    Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yeah, I'm only planning about 75 guests. Which is small (to my family), but I wouldn't in a million years, with a million dollars, have many more than that. </div>
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  • Msmery, I think you and I are wedding sisters. My wedding was the weekend before Columbus day, fall-themed, with 70-ish guests at a small country club. And hey, you can still be creative with a country club wedding. ;) We had video game tables, so there. Oh, and I did DIY a bunch of stuff though. Good luck with your planning!



    image
    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • I would probably have a more traditional wedding. I would of worn a white dress, the BMs would of been in coordinating dresses, the GMs in suits and my H in a suit as well. There would of been alcohol at the reception and dancing as well.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wr-alternate-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:aa7fe799-fcec-4e9e-bb72-513510cf79d5Post:21a183b8-8a24-4fb6-aa35-f3762715c68d">Re: WR(!): Alternate wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]I loved the simplicity of our weddding. It's just a day. I know people say they would change this or that, but I dont know that I really would. It wouldn't make a difference. Same guy. Same vows. Same people. No matter when or where, how big or small the event, I got me a husband out of the deal, and I really, really love how we did it. <---- that's what she said. I think the longer we are married, the more you realize that it really is JUST a day. A super important day, but a day nonetheless.  
    Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

    I have to agree with this...The only thing I wish I could change is to have it go in slow motion.  I felt like I blinked and it was over.
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