New Jersey

need advice

please help, i am so confused!!!! i finally found a venue i really loved and so did the future hubby problem it is a little out of the budget. It is everything we wanted something different, unique yet the cost adds up. I was with family this weekend and the aunts found a place almost $30 cheaper which is still nice and not anything i would hate just not different as i wanted. My family always calls a wedding a 5 hour party so of course they could care less where it is. What do you guys think??? dream wedding thats way too much or the smarter wedding??? thoughts .

Re: need advice

  • Same thing happened with me.  I fell in love with the first venue I visited.  I then went to over 10 more venues but nothing topped the first one.  My mom loved a venue that was about $30 a plate cheaper.  However, I couldn't get over the first one.  I felt bad because my parents were paying for the reception and I felt I should go with the cheaper one that my mom liked.  However, my parents could tell my heart was with the first venue so that's where we ended up booking.  Looking back now I realize my venue was beautifu (and highly recommend it) but probably would of had the just as good of time at the venue that would of saved my parents money.  I know its one of the biggest days of your life but it goes by so quick!  I could of saved myself and my parents a ton of money and would of still had an amazing wedding. 
  • music11music11 member
    Seventh Anniversary 500 Comments
    If you have your heart set on the first venue, could you find a way to save money on it?  For example, have your wedding on a Friday or Sunday?  Or do a brunch?  See if they have any suggestions.
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  • I agree with PP's suggestion about compromising on date or time.
  • I'm real pragmatic; I come down on "smarter" every time.
  • Don't book a place that is more than you can afford. 
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  • I too fell in love with a place that was WAYYYYY out of my budget. Of course it was cheaper for me to have it on a Friday night or Sunday afternoon or on an off-season month. I knew I wanted a Saturday night wedding in October and wasn't going to budge.

    In the end, I realized that where you have it doesn't matter..it's who you're with that matters. We ended up choosing a different place that's not my ideal but the price was right for the food they were giving us.
  • FarynykFarynyk member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary
    I ran into the same problem. The venue we loved cost about $25 more per plate and we wound up booking that venue. The reason we went with the more expensive venue was because the decor in the cheaper venue was very tacky (ie. fake flowers, dirty chafing dishes, cloudy crystals). I would need to spend so much additional money on flowers and decor that the cheaper venue would wind up being more expensive in the long run. We weighed our options and we figured the higher priced venue would be more affordable because we wouldn't need to do anything to the decor except centerpieces, plus the $25 additional per plate meant better quality food (ie. Chilean sea bass instead of tilapia and filet mignon instead of sirloin...major difference in my book!).
  • abungerabunger member
    Knottie Warrior 100 Comments
    Like Farynyk, we were torn between 2 venues and selected the more expensive one because it would end up being more cost effective in the long run. The less expensive venue was beautiful but it would have cost us extra pp for the ceremony, the liquor we wanted, etc. The more expensive venue had all that included and the owner has been super flexible with timing, minimums, and whatever we need so it's going to end up saving money the day of. Draw up a big pro/con list so you can really compare the 2 objectively. Good luck!
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  • FutureMrsN3312FutureMrsN3312 Dirty Jersey member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    What venues are you considering?  If some of us are booked there we can try and help you out a little more.
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  • GiaspoGiaspo member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    We, too booked the more expensive venue we loved because the food and decor were exactly what we wanted.  We made a lot of concessions to afford it.  We cut the guest list, did a Friday i/o Saturday, had a DJ over a band, did a lot of DIY, cut back on flowers, and saved and saved for a year.  Even so, we pulled quite a bit out of our savings.

    It was well worth it and I have no regrets.  However, we just tried to buy a house and didn't have that money in our savings for a down payment (and we didn't buy the house).  My advice would be:  draw up your budget and determine what means most to you, then see if you can swing it.  Then, see how long it will take to save the money you spend, or pay off credit cards, and be ready to commit to the long term efforts.  Good luck! 
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  • The place I loved was out of my budget as well so I compromised the time and ended up booking a Saturday daytime wedding.  At first I was nervous after I made the choice but now I'm  happy with my decision.  I had my heart set on the venue and honestly the time of day shouldn't be a big deal.
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  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Sit down with your fiance and decide what you can afford to spend on your reception. Then tell the hall you love, "We would really love to book here, but we cannot afford to spend more than $x. We need to host # people. Is there any way you can create a package of us that'll fit our budget? We're flexible on the date."

    Otherwise, go with what you can afford. I promise you, it's not really going to matter in a few months or years where exactly you got married. People will be happy as long as the food and service are decent. Your guests aren't going to notice all the little details that you are falling in love with ... to the vast majority of people, every wedding hall is basically the same.
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  • Thank you everyone the advice has really helped me. If I go with the more expensive place I would end up having to do more work. I am looking at a vineyard that basically means I need to bring everything in which is why it would cost more on top of having to do more work. The other venue isn't bad at all it just didn't have the different wedding theme I was goin for. I am already getting married on a Friday so tiring cheaper dates or days wont help. In the end I really want to buy a house and I'm wondering if saving would be smart now. Thank you all again you were really a big help and put my mind at ease a bit.
  • And sorry for the different names I was on my moms computer when I first started this board. I just realized it lol
  • I'd go with the place you love...I have been to too many mediocre weddings in Northern NJ, pay the little bit extra and have it be perfect.  ;)
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