Wedding Party

Thinking of kicking my MOH out of the wedding???

So i have known my MOH since i was 10.  I asked her to be my MOH and she seemed all on board, but know i have not really heard from her in a while.  When we talk we talk about the wedding but she is so annoying.  I tell her my ideas for decor, music, food and she disagrees with all of it, she thinks that her ideas are better and she argues and tries to convince me to do it her way.  It's irritaiting because she forgets its my wedding not hers.  She wants me to have music and food I don't like, she wants to have a different dress than the other BM.
My Bday was a couple of days ago and i got a text, no phone calls from her or even a card, but she sends her other friends b-day cards.  She is just too much to deal with and i think she will stress me out the day of the wedding instead of helping. 
I really want her out of the wedding but should I kick her out, and if yes how?? help

Re: Thinking of kicking my MOH out of the wedding???

  • Wow. funny stuff. yes i am new here, and she is bringing more drama than i would like.

    first of all she has made plans 3xs to go to bridal shows and she doesnt cancel she just doesnt answer her phone and leaves me hanging
    she is forcing a batchlorette party and bridal party on me i don't want them i have told her many times thank you but no thanks
    she wants a 280 dollar dress in a burnt orange and she is 270lbs yeah dont think it will compliment her and i want inexpensive 130 dresses that match
    she only talks to me about the wedding and nothing else
    i want blue shoes as my something blue and she is just crazy against it
    and are seating chart programs and menues really needed?  I  just want to reserve some tables for fam and have a sweatheart table for us but she insist on seating chart
    she has offered to help with so many things and she lags everytime
    she also want to secretly go out the night before the wedding for one last "fun outing"  she mentioned vegas  Just not up for crazy events the night before the wedding
    She is being a bullie with so many things and i try to tell her nicely that that idea isnt us and that we dont like it but she is pusshy and it has ended with some arguing  she is the one wanting to be in everything but when the time comes she isn;t there.  i dont want to worry about her showing up. communication has kind of stopped because she got mad because i disagreed with her food idea 
    I think she will be my biggest stress factor in this whole process and to me it;s not worth her friendship if she is going to ruin the wedding day with her rude and loud demanding attitude

  • I think you need to be more assertive.

    She sounds like she's overpowering but YOU are letting her overpower you.

    I think it's Eleanor Roosevelt who said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

    So talk to her.  Sit her down for a heart to heart and tell her EXACTLY why you will or won't go with her ideas.  Don't kick her out.  Talk to her about what you want to do for your wedding and why you feel so strongly about it.

    But in the end, you're allowing yourself to be dominated by her and you need to speak up for yourself.  Do it appropriately though.  You already see what you DON'T like in her attitude - do you want to do the same thing?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_thinking-of-kicking-moh-out-of-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:ce1938cc-0482-4230-a1c6-a7f2719472f6Post:90bfc0fb-9b6a-4c8f-802a-d63049a472b2">Re: Thinking of kicking my MOH out of the wedding???</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow. funny stuff. yes i am new here, and she is bringing more drama than i would like. first of all she has made plans 3xs to go to bridal shows and she doesnt cancel she just doesnt answer her phone and leaves me hanging she is forcing a batchlorette party and bridal party on me i don't want them i have told her many times thank you but no thanks she wants a 280 dollar dress in a burnt orange and she is 270lbs yeah dont think it will compliment her and i want inexpensive 130 dresses that match she only talks to me about the wedding and nothing else i want blue shoes as my something blue and she is just crazy against it and are seating chart programs and menues really needed?  I  just want to reserve some tables for fam and have a sweatheart table for us but she insist on seating chart she has offered to help with so many things and she lags everytime she also want to secretly go out the night before the wedding for one last "fun outing"  she mentioned vegas  Just not up for crazy events the night before the wedding She is being a bullie with so many things and i try to tell her nicely that that idea isnt us and that we dont like it but she is pusshy and it has ended with some arguing  she is the one wanting to be in everything but when the time comes she isn;t there.  i dont want to worry about her showing up. communication has kind of stopped because she got mad because i disagreed with her food idea  I think she will be my biggest stress factor in this whole process and to me it;s not worth her friendship if she is going to ruin the wedding day with her rude and loud demanding attitude
    Posted by [email protected][/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Again, just STOP telling her about your wedding ideas. When she brings up the wedding, bean dip her. Simple as pie. 

    </div>
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  • Wow, thats tough.

    I agree with stina and just stop talking to her about the wedding. Chance the subject when she does, or tell her "oh (FI's name) and I are still discussing it"

    Its kind of like cutting her out, but just mentally and maybe for your sanity. The wedding should be about the fact that you are vowing to love someone for the rest of your life, and not about what your MOH-zilla wants you to pay for at a big party. just an opinion
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  • I believe I had the similar situation. My ex MOH became very rude and defensive when it came to the dresses among other things. Once I stood up for myself finally, being usually the shy and reserved person, she ultimately volunteered to step down. I must disagree to an extend with what people are saying about the OP's situation. I agree that you can't ask someone to step down, but you have to put your foot down on your own wedding, respectfully. Its only one day that you can have the "support" of your friends with you, it won't kill them to get a dress and show up and you are graciously paying for their food like a guest, honoring them with a deserving gift and standing up with you at the altar. I can also understand that it can be hurtful for your MOH not to at least call you during your birthday, especially if you both have been doing that traditionally for years. It is a tough call on this situation, but people's lives change, everyone goes their own path and I really feel for you. 
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