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June 2010 Weddings

Scared of getting married (again)?????? REALLY LONG SORRY


I'm getting married in 9 days on June 18th and I'm starting to feel really weird about the whole thing.  I'm 27 and my fiance is almost 30 when we get married we've literally been together 2 years from that exact date.  We met online thru E-Harmony and went on our first date 6-18-2008 (hence 6-18-2010 we're getting married). 

Some similarities between myself and my fiance are almost creepy (not in a bad way but that someone could go through pretty much the exact as same thing as you at the exact same time and you don't even know them). 

My fiance has never been married and I've been married once I think I just feel this weird stigma that I'm 27 and going on a 2nd marriage and that we're having a pretty big and lavish wedding (we're paying for this entirely ourselves btw).

 I guess I just feel like people think I'm making a fool of myself with this big 2nd wedding when my first marriage lasted a year and a half.  My ex-husband met someone on the internet and within and a few months filed for divore he was my highschool sweetheart and when we got divorced we had been together for 7 years including our marriage. 

My fiance has never been married, but his first "serious" relationship up and left him when he came home from a business trip after they'd just signed a year lease to live together and had only been in the apt for 6 weeks.  Here's the weird part my ex decided to leave Aug 2007 his ex Sept 2007 (weird I know).

 I guess I'm just starting to feel like maybe I'm a dud or something I mean I'm only 27 and going on a 2nd marriage and I just feel like family mainly are talking behind my back that I'm putting on a show since the first one didn't last.  Am I making a mountain out of a molehill or do I have a legimate right to be concerned that I look really foolish???????????????
Off Ortho Evra Birth Control Patch-Feb. 2011 Began TTC March 2011 8/30/11- U/S results normal,structural appearance normal, possibly partial sub-septate uterus???? Sept 2011 CD 20 Check- Progesterone normal/indicates ovulation at a 12 9/14/11 CD 3 blood work- Estrogen Normal-35 FSH levels-5.9 9/30/2011- S/A- Results GOOD October 2011 10/7/2011- Surprise BFP!!!!!!!! 10/12/2011- MC Confirmed CP at roughly 4wks 2 days EDD:6/18/2012 Our 2 yr. Anniversary 10/13/2011- Follow up consult with OB and lay out a treatment plan 10/20/11 MRI with/without contrast uterus labeled as Arcuate uterine abnormality, small cyst detected on left ovary. End October 2011- Fired Original OB/switched and interviewed several practices with new OB and Love her! 12/02/11- HSG uterus looks perfect with no abnormalities detected and tubes clear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: Scared of getting married (again)?????? REALLY LONG SORRY

  • You know what?
    It doesn't matter what ANYONE thinks.... all that matters is the love that you and  your FI have for one another... which it doesn't seem like you have a problem there.
    HOnestly, I am scared to friggin death of getting married. My stomach is in knots, and im even getting the shakes. It has nothing to do with FI... but it has to do with the idea of marriage. Marriage is scary business... and if you aren't even a bit nervous... then there is something wrong with you... but of course that is my honest opinion.
    Everyone is going to have an opinion... just don't let that dictate your day! Lots of people get married young and divorce fast and then get married the second time in their mid to late 20s. I know of at least 3-4 girls that have done that.... and they are happily married.
    HTH
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  • mountain out of a molehill.  you are the only one who knows if you should be getting married.  As long as you're cool with it, everyone else can suck it.  If you're unsure, thats another issue.
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  • If you are happy with getting married, who cares what everyone else thinks?  Especially if they are not paying for it.  Ignore them, if you want to get married, do what you have planned and have a beautiful day.  If you are having 2nd thoughts or think you shouldn't get married...then don't. 
  • It's your wedding do what you want! You are marrying the man you love and want to spend your life with. Why wouldn't you want to share that with all your family and friends? And he's never been married and never had the big wedding before why shouldn't he have his big day announcing his marriage to you? A lot of people in this day and age have second marriages and a lot of them have a big wedding the second time. I'm sure your family and friends love you and are happy to be joining you both on your special day. If not then why would they come? And maybe the fact that you two have so much in common is why you both understand each other and work together so well. Just my opinion. I think you should just take a deep breath calm your nerves and marry the man you love! (btw I think we're a little nervous during this time! I know I am!)
  • who gives a sh!t what other people think about your life.  You're an adult.  Do whatever you want.
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  • In Response to Re: Scared of getting married (again)?????? REALLY LONG SORRY:
    [QUOTE]who gives a sh!t what other people think about your life.  You're an adult.  Do whatever you want.
    Posted by kmt_cas[/QUOTE]

    I love you K. So much. lol
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  • Thank you so much ladies for your thoughts I truly appreciate them :)

    I have absolutely no doubts about marrying this man at all (even though I have EXTREME fear to publicly speak in front of large or small crowds I wrote out about a 2 min. note/vows to my soon to be husband that I will read to him during our vows in front of 150 people which is 300 eyes staring at me)!

    I have to say that luvlee 361 really hit the nail on the head because going thru a divorce is almost in a sense like a death it's not getting married I'm afraid of it's never wanting to go thru a divorce again!  I don't want to be one of those people who never gives love another chance though because they're afraid of getting hurt!

    Best of Luck to all of you ladies getting married in the upcoming days and weeks :)

    You've really helped to put my mind at ease

    Thank you,

    Danielle :)

    Off Ortho Evra Birth Control Patch-Feb. 2011 Began TTC March 2011 8/30/11- U/S results normal,structural appearance normal, possibly partial sub-septate uterus???? Sept 2011 CD 20 Check- Progesterone normal/indicates ovulation at a 12 9/14/11 CD 3 blood work- Estrogen Normal-35 FSH levels-5.9 9/30/2011- S/A- Results GOOD October 2011 10/7/2011- Surprise BFP!!!!!!!! 10/12/2011- MC Confirmed CP at roughly 4wks 2 days EDD:6/18/2012 Our 2 yr. Anniversary 10/13/2011- Follow up consult with OB and lay out a treatment plan 10/20/11 MRI with/without contrast uterus labeled as Arcuate uterine abnormality, small cyst detected on left ovary. End October 2011- Fired Original OB/switched and interviewed several practices with new OB and Love her! 12/02/11- HSG uterus looks perfect with no abnormalities detected and tubes clear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • I happen to think that I hit the nail on the head.  To each their own.
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  • In Response to Re: Scared of getting married (again)?????? REALLY LONG SORRY:
    [QUOTE]I happen to think that I hit the nail on the head.  To each their own.
    Posted by kmt_cas[/QUOTE]

    You did hit the nail on the head. So well in fact, that I think I should start a campaign to get Arm and Hammer to change their name to Arm and KMT. Talk about 4 snaps in a square!
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  • In Response to Re: Scared of getting married (again)?????? REALLY LONG SORRY:
    [QUOTE]I happen to think that I hit the nail on the head.  To each their own.
    Posted by kmt_cas[/QUOTE]

    You're such a brat kmt.  <3
    OP - I agree with PPs, it doesn't matter one bit what everyone else thinks.  If they want to gossip and talk about you behind you back then that's their business.  People gossip because they're jealous.  So you made a mistake and married the wrong man, half the people invited to your wedding did that or will do that, also.  Now you've found the right man for you and you want to celebrate it!  Go for it!  
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  • I'm 26 and just got married for the 2nd time last week and to tell you the truth, I felt funny about it being my 2nd marriage for a little while (when we were first planning) but then I realized that this wedding is no less important than the 1st, I mean, the 1st one didn't even last right! I think you should look at those similarities between you and your FI as a good thing... you understand each other better because of them!
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