Is it ok to use shower gifts before your wedding day?

misspinks25 · June 2010

My fiance and I disagree on this....

Your thoughts?

cschuma2 · June 2010

Tradition says that you should not. However, I have yet to see a bridal shower fairy come in and scoop away any gift that you use before the wedding.

Personally, we did not use any gifts before the wedding. However, I would in no way be upset if I gave my gift to a bride and she used it prior to the wedding.

SarahPLiz · June 2010

Generally, no. If for any reason the wedding is cancelled, it is proper etiquette to return the gifts to the sender. If you have used them, then you would have to purchase a new one to send back.

GreenPepperBurger · June 2010

Please hit the post button one time.

I honestly don't understand the big thing about not using gifts before the wedding day. I understand that if the wedding is cancelled, blah blah blah...But most weddings DO happen. And who's going to know if you used the blender before you said "I do"?

frogurt814 · June 2010

I've totally been using shower gifts before the wedding. I know it's proper etiquette not to, but I don't regret using any of them.

526SadieSadie · June 2010

I'm not sure why it's not traditionally ok to use shower gifts before the wedding, maybe it's a jinx? At any rate, I think we'll be using our gifts beforehand. We aren't living together yet, but will be moving in together about a month before the wedding and I don't see the point of waiting a toaster oven until October 11th.

EDIT: As long as you've sent a thank you note for the item, I think it's fine to use it, unless of course the wedding doesn't happen.

trix1223 · June 2010

The reason that etiquette says you shouldn't use them is because they must be returned if for any reason the wedding doesn't occur. And they can't be returned used.

If your shower, like most, is only weeks before your wedding, why not wait?

Just don't wait to send the ty notes for the gift.

debdebdol · June 2010

Hey, if someone gets us the Margaritaville Margarita Maker we registered for, I would use it and not think twice about it!

mrscheetah · June 2010

you know, i thought it was a total no-no to use them before the wedding, but then i mentioned that at my shower last weekend, and a bunch of my mom's friends (who've been married 30, 40 years) were like no, no its fine! but i'm kind of superstitious and i worry about my FI getting hit by a bus if we open up the crock pot or the ice cream maker. strange, i know.

miah_23_ncb · June 2010

I never thought of this before. we probably wont be using any of the things we get becasue my BF already has an apt & i will be moving in w/ him so all our gifts will probably be stored at my parents house. But i think i would use anything we needed before the wedding that we needed

lrowe70 · June 2010

Don't use a gift? What nonsense!

We've been using a few patio chairs, a couch, outdoor decorations and other household items that were given to us. Guests that come over think they are great. Just last week we got a beautiful silver frame that we are going to display our engagement photos in at the rehearsal dinner and wedding.

Personally this sounds like an etiquette rule that needs to go the way of the 8-track and the pet rock. I think it is rude not to use someone's gift. People are flattered to see things they got for you out on display and being used. I'd be offended if I went to someone's home and saw my gift sitting in a box in a corner.

Beachy730 · June 2010

We actually won't be using anything until a month or 2 after the wedding. We are moving across country and don't want to unpack everything and repack it. FI's apartment is pretty well stocked and most of the stuff we registered for are nicer upgades to things so we can wait til we move. Plus, his roommate is a slob and I don't want him to be using all our nice new ktichen things and leaving them sitting dirty in the sink for days.

Xtine22 · June 2010

I had a work shower in April we are getting married in Sept. I got all of my place setting we have been using them. I actually made a joke about not using them at work the other day and a women I work with was like "Oh you're not using them yet, we did" Like a PP the shower fairy is not going to come visit you and take your gifts away.

sar919 · June 2010

I never heard that the etiquette was to wait until after the wedding to use the gifts. We are already using most of them! Why wait? That's just my opinion

MyNameIsNot · June 2010

Tradition and etiquette say no, because you'd have to return it in case something horrible happened.

If you do use them, keep it to yourself, and make sure you are prepared to purchase and return an identical gift in the worst case scenario.

swim1011 · June 2010

I had my first shower a couple months before the wedding, and started using gifts almost immediately. We don't regret a single bit of it. It depends on how much of a stickler you are for etiquette, and my guess is that some women know (whether they want to admit it or not) that they're not going to make it down the aisle. Those ones should steer clear of using the gifts!

ivy_leaf85 · June 2010

I think it's perfectly fine to use them before the wedding.

My wedding is in August and my shower was this past Sunday. It was an outside/garden themed shower and with almost every gift I opened, someone said "And you can use that at your 4th of July party next weekend" (Apparently I'm having a big 4th of July party

). I think any gift I don't use or display before the wedding may slightly offend whoever gave it to me.

Musicheals71 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_ok-use-shower-gifts-before-wedding-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:5878f4ba-7737-4d2f-aa38-fc484573ef70Post:d1cdcede-5193-43a8-aefd-a1b28131bc49">Re: Is it ok to use shower gifts before your wedding day?</a>:
[QUOTE]I honestly don't understand the big thing about not using gifts before the wedding day. I understand that if the wedding is cancelled, blah blah blah...But most weddings DO happen. And who's going to know if you used the blender before you said "I do"?
Posted by GreenPepperBurger[/QUOTE]

I'm on the same page as you. I've been using most of my gifts already, and I was prompt with the TY notes.

natalia1102 · June 2010

u do what u wanna do girl! the purpose of the shower is for ur friends and loved ones to shower u and ur soon to be hubby with gifts to start ur life together... so start ur life with that new blender

and make margarittas

CA2MT4EveR · June 2010

Actually, weddings ARE called off more often than people think/assume. There are so many circumstances and things that come up within the weeks before weddings and people decide it can't be done- for whatever their personal reasons.

When a shower is a couple weeks before, I guess it's up to you if you want to use the stuff. But my theory is that I went without for long enough, I can wait a couple more months or a few more weeks. When I need something, I go get it. I don't put it on a registry or hope that someone will think to get it for me as a gift. So someone gave me something a little bit better than what I have, I will use it to celebrate my MARRIAGE to my new husband.

goetzr19 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_ok-use-shower-gifts-before-wedding-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:5878f4ba-7737-4d2f-aa38-fc484573ef70Post:3b2b4e85-7024-4839-bdac-1a1311fd7db9">Re: Is it ok to use shower gifts before your wedding day?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not sure why it's not traditionally ok to use shower gifts before the wedding, maybe it's a jinx? At any rate, I think we'll be using our gifts beforehand. We aren't living together yet, but will be moving in together about a month before the wedding and I don't see the point of waiting a toaster oven until October 11th. EDIT: <strong><em>As long as you've sent a thank you note for the item, I think it's fine to use it, unless of course the wedding doesn't happen</em></strong>.
Posted by 526SadieSadie[/QUOTE]

Ditto this. If I sent a gift to a couple before the wedding, and found out they waited months to use it (if it were something common, like said margarita mixer), then I might think that would be odd. If you are prepared to buy a new one should the wedding fall out, then go ahead and open those gifts up! (But send a TY first of course)

suzieharris · July 2010

Why the hell do you have a shower then? I never really understood the Wedding Shower thing anyway. Haven't you invited these women to the wedding and they will feel obligated to purchase a gift for that as well? Times are tooooo tough right now to have a wedding shower. If you did have a shower and those women spent hard earned money on it, then by all means use it! That would be the only reason to have a gift giving party before the wedding anyway. Sorry, I'm old and have been through this 15 years ago and I still don't understand the concept.

bullentini · July 2010

I feel if a wedding is called off, I think I would be sensitive enough not to ask the bride or groom if they returned my gift. There is obviosly much bigger issues than if they already opened shower gifts.

kdrott · July 2010

I think I'm with some of the girls above in saying that when I'm the gift-giver, I like to hear my item is being used and enjoyed. At the same time, I wouldn't be terribly offended to hear the bride was going a traditional route and waiting. Personally, I couldn't wait to use my new fluffy towels!

)

ameliapaige1 · July 2010

I say if you recieved a shower gift that you really needed and need right now, go for it. I know my FI and I will have a hard time not playing with our new toys, lol.

Hjmarie · July 2010

I'm with some of you and say use it!
I was blessed enough to have 3 different showers from family and friends last month. Shortly after the shower I was home in our already too small for us apt, opening & cleaning the items we were going to use.
Other item's are being stored until we buy a house as there is just no room for us to put out 2 boxes of wine glasses and other wonderful gifts we got.
The day after I received all these wonderful gifts, I was sending out heartfelt thank you notes to all of our loved ones.
So I say, they shower you with gifts... USE them!! No need to store for weeks/months till the wedding!

kdwhitley · July 2010

I have used two gifts because well we didnt have them and I needed them. lol. My grandma got my blender and crock pot off my registry for Christmas and I used them. They were Christmas presents NOT shower gifts. But besides the measuring cup and a pizza cutter I have used from actual showers. the rest are still boxed and waiting for me.

Is it ok to use shower gifts before your wedding day?

Re: Is it ok to use shower gifts before your wedding day?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards