New Jersey

hello, new here and have a question :)

hi ladies,
my name is alyson, i have been on the knot since i got engaged last june but never really posted anything...i'm getting married 10/15/11...my first question is how do i get my wedding ticker in my signature?? and my second question is for anyone that has sent out invites, i'm preparing my save the dates now and my room holds a max of 220, my list is up to 249, i'm assuming i'll get at least 29 no's (thats about 15 couples) and be ok, but i'm freaking a bit that everyone will show up and i'll have no place to put them..i know there is a percentage of no's that you should expect to get, but i was wondering what you all have experienced. thanks!

Re: hello, new here and have a question :)

  • edited December 2011
    I think the general rule of thumb is that you can expect 80% of your guests to show, the other 20% to decline. Two of my co-workers said this rule panned out almost exactly for their weddings.

    That being said, this is not an exact science--more of a guesstimation--If you are over a few people, that's fine. I wouldn't keep adding more people, otherwise you could have a real problem. Also, you may run into some weird responses (people who weren't invited with dates that RSVPd bringing a date, etc)

    Good luck with the invites and hope this helps!
  • felicia220felicia220 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Welcome and Congrats

    Is it just me or is it strange that you would invite more people than your room could hold?  

    And if the fire code says 220 max, that is all they are allowing in, if they are smart at least.  

    I wouldn't take the risk of just hoping for X number of NOs but that just me.  

    Hopefully, there are some other girls on here, with a similar experience that can offer some insight.  


  • edited December 2011
    If your room hold sup to a max of 220 you better not invite more than 220. When doing STD's, you only send it to people you know will absolutely be invited and you will not change your mind about inviting - family and closest friends only. If you have an extra 29 people who can't fit in the room, do not plan on inviting them unless you know for a fact people are not coming. Unfortunately, they would be "B" list guests - people who would only get invited in the event other people decline the invite. You can't assume people will not come. Especially having a Saturday wedding when most people do not work - the large majority are most likely going to end up coming. Only invite what your budget AND room max can accomodate. If your list keeps growing with people who absolutely must be invited, you may want to try to switch rooms and/or venues.
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    We invited about 170, and we had 120 show up. Plus we had a lot of people wavering back and forth within the last week, ugh. Don't invite more people than the room can hold.

    You don't HAVE to send out Save the Dates, you know. You can always inform VIP people of the date and location through phone or e-mail.

    Plus, your guest list may change between now and the time that invitations go out. We had quite a few people on our guest list when we first started planning, and when we were addressing the invites we cut them from our list. Not because of a falling out, just because we'd lost touch with them. If we had sent out Save the Dates, we would've been obligated to invite them. Something like that could really backfire on you if you are already over the limit for the room.
    image
  • edited December 2011
    My suggestion is that you send out initial invites to 220 people, and then have a "b list" (though I know that's frowned upon by some, and i'm not doing it, but if your location doesn't allow more than that I can't think of anything else). This way as you start getting responses (you would send out your invites a little earlier than you normally would) you can send out the invites for the b list people as room becomes available.
  • edited December 2011

    thanks ladies, my list is done growing and i told everyone that is enough! haha...the problem is my family is so large and my parents are pretty set on who they want to invite, i feel i've left off a few people that i wish i could have there already so if i started cutting my list now it would be super close friends at this point...i have already purchased the save the dates so i'm going to send them, i thought it was a great idea at first but now i realize its just putting me in a position of committing to a number too soon...thanks for the advice, i'm going to read over my list...again! :(

  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_hello-new-here-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:7ce5ab1d-358e-496c-ae0f-779bef63403aPost:0408a060-fa19-467e-b0cf-b304954742a7">Re: hello, new here and have a question :)</a>:
    [QUOTE]i have already purchased the save the dates so i'm going to send them, i thought it was a great idea at first but now i realize its just putting me in a position of committing to a number too soon...thanks for the advice, i'm going to read over my list...again! :(
    Posted by alykat216[/QUOTE]

    I know it sucks to lose money on them, but you aren't obligated to send them just because you bought them. (I mean, if you WANT to, by all means send them, but you're not<em> forced</em> to send them.)
    image
  • edited December 2011
    i know, thats a good point, but they are all set and ready to go with labels and just missing postage...in the grand scheme of things with all the money we are spending its not too much to lose out on..and of course me and my big mouth has been letting some guests know that they will be mailed soon, so it might cause more questions then what its worth to not send them...i have a lot of out of towners and singles that i've counted with guests, i would hate to do it, but maybe i won't invite them with a guest...my fmil told me when she handed me her list that she was pretty positive at least 13 people on her list were no's but it would be the right thing to do to send an invite to them...so i think it will work out...i'm just a worry wart and have been second guessing every decision i've made so far, is that normal? haha
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