Unity Candle/Sand AND Wine Box Ceremony?

Jeneb86 · January 2013

Hey ladies,

I am new to this but I was wondering if anyone has ever done both the unity candle/sand AND the wine box ceremonies in their wedding? I love the idea of including the mothers in the ceremony by doing the unity candle/sand (in that way I am traditional). But in many ways I love to be unique. My fiance and I really love the idea of the time capsule wine box. Not only did we want to include this into our ceremony but we wanted to include guests in it as well. At the reception the box would be on a table with pieces of paper where guests could contribute and put notes for us in a slot (large enough only for a piece of paper). But we are also having a short ceremony so I wasn't sure if doing both would drag it on too long or if any one had any suggestions on how it could be done.

Just to give an idea we are also including a few other unique ideas, my fiance will be arriving to the ceremony on a jet ski and my dog will be walking down the aisle with my nephew just before me. I hope this isn't too much?? Opinions please!

Jen4948 · January 2013

Well, I do think that you should cut down some of the extra ceremonies if you want a short ceremony. Either cut out some of the elements of each, or eliminate one.

Also, I don't think the dog should be there. Even the most well-trained dog can be unpredictable, and if any of your guests are allergic to dogs or even just not comfortable with them, their comfort really needs to come first. If it's really important for your dog to be "present," then have a picture of it on hand.

I'm also not a fan of the jet ski thing, but that's me-it's too gimmicky and cutesy for my taste.

libby2483 · January 2013

Personally, I would pick one or the other. Both seems a little much. Also, I would nix the dog idea. What if some of your guests have severe allergies?

AddieCake · January 2013

I agree to pick one or the other. As a guest, I would be kind of thinking, "Are we there yet?" if there were 2 unity ceremonies. And I would rethink the dog. What if he gets nervous and acts up? Who will care for him immediately after the ceremony? What if any guests are allergic? It all seems like a whole hodgepodge of "unique" ideas (that are not really all that unique anyway).

itzMS · January 2013

My mind just went worst case scenario on these things.

FI on Jet Ski...he hits a wave wrong, falls off, and arrives to the ceremony soaking wet. I know I wouldn't exactly be thrilled with my groom drenched during our ceremony.

Dog...amongst the other things that PPs have mentioned...what if it poops? Nothing says love like the smell of fresh dog poo during your wedding ceremony.

I think you could do your wine box idea as a sort of "guest book alternative" during your reception.

Candles don't mix well with the outdoors.

So, it looks like you should stick to a sand ceremony only if it means something for you and FI to do it.

gymbugmj2k · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_unity-candlesand-and-wine-box-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:ff9546ed-9847-4aed-a09c-7759f8d8f8efPost:a5446ce7-7321-4cdd-9d38-d382cb77be4e">Re: Unity Candle/Sand AND Wine Box Ceremony?</a>:
[QUOTE]My mind just went worst case scenario on these things. FI on Jet Ski...he hits a wave wrong, falls off, and arrives to the ceremony soaking wet. I know I wouldn't exactly be thrilled with my groom drenched during our ceremony. Dog...amongst the other things that PPs have mentioned...what if it poops? Nothing says love like the smell of fresh dog poo during your wedding ceremony. I think you could do your wine box idea as a sort of "guest book alternative" during your reception. Candles don't mix well with the outdoors. So, it looks like you should stick to a sand ceremony only if it means something for you and FI to do it.
Posted by itzMS[/QUOTE]

ALL OF THIS.

the candles would be ok if they were covered/hurricane candles. that might actually be pretty.

KimandByron · January 2013

I agree with the others. I would leave the dog out and the jet ski idea is risky in case something happens but if it's what you want. I would not worry about including the mothers. Most guests get bored at a long ceremony and begin to lose interest in the occasion.
We are doing a sand ceremony at our wedding.

snorah2013 · January 2013

Hi Jeneb86 - Congrats on your wedding!

When you list all of your unique wedding elements together in one paragraph, it looks overwhelming and gimmicky. BUT, once you put together your wedding day timeline, there may be several opportunities to incorporate unique elements throughout the entire day so it's not all crammed into the ceremony. On the flip side, you might find that you want to spend that time doing something else. Spreading out the meaningful elements could make more of an impact for you and your guests.

I think the wine box ceremony would be great outside of the ceremony. You could leave it open during the cocktail hour/reception for guests to add items to and maybe nail it shut during your cake cutting? I don't know what your Day-Of timeline is like, but we're doing our cake cutting later in our evening - about an hour or so after dinner (there will be open dancing between end of dinner service/First Dance and the Cake Cutting). There's no reason why you or a close friend couldn't explain the significance behind your wine box ceremony, instead of the officiate. You could then bury it together the next morning as husband-and-wife (instead of during the ceremony, if that's what you were thinking of doing).

For including your mothers, does it have to be a Unity Candle or Sand? What about a reading, or blessing your rings instead of the officiate doing it, or offering a prayer?

Um, fair warning on the Unity Candle, I've been to sooooo many weddings where the candles don't light, they tip over, they don't light at the same time, the Bride burned her fingers, the Groom almost lit the bride's veil on fire... and these were candles in hurricane holders, or indoors, or "pre-lit"! One of my girlfriends burst into tears because her candle wouldn't stay lit long enough and she took it as "a sign." The idea of the Unity Candle is great, but the execution - not so much.

The other thing I found is that as you plan out your day (and your eyes start to go blurry and your head just hurts from reading Pinterest, Style Me Pretty AND Green Wedding Shoes five hours a day) is that some elements really stick with you and your fiance and just make sense. And some become an absolute pain in the rear to pull together. It becomes a no-brainer as to what you want to include and what you don't really need.

Dreamergirl8812 · January 2013

Candle ceremonies irritate me because nothing changes. Two wicks light one wick and at some point you blow it out... I don't get it.

Anyway, when we met with our officiant we got a little too excited and decided to do a wine box ceremony and a sand ceremony. I like those because you have something to show for it afterwards and it's so meaningful. But I feel like 2 ceremonies is too much so we're going to do the wine box "ceremony" at the rehearsal dinner. I have a wine box that holds 2 bottles. One for wine, of course, and the other will be empty and we will put our letters to each other in it and then cork it. It will be very informal because I think the important parts of the wine box ceremony are the letters inside, which you don't write on the spot anyway, and when you open it 5 years later. So it's not really a "ceremony."

Unity Candle/Sand AND Wine Box Ceremony?

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