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My beloved father just died....

SJM76SJM76
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in Chit Chat
Hello all,
I am writing because I am sure other people have been through this or know someone who has.....My father, my favorite person, died 3 weeks ago today.  He had terminal cancer.  I miss him so much. 

My wedding is in December 2012. I have a fair amount of stuff to still do, and I am having a hard time getting motivated to continue to plan, as my life has been turned upside down.

My parents are paying for 90% of the wedding and my mother wants us to push on seeing as though my father would really want us to have a wonderful time.  He was looking forward to it...

Also, I am looking for some ideas on how to include his memory and the love we have for him and incorporate it into the wedding.  Some of the roses from his funeral had really cool branches in the arrangement and so I saved those to use for part of our decor.

Thanks,
Sarah
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Re: My beloved father just died....

  • MrsGandthebeagMrsGandthebeag member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    I'm really sorry to hear this.  My father passed away also from brain cancer.  It sucks big time I know.  Give yourself time to grieve.  As for ways to incorporate his memory into your special day, what I did was put a picture of him in a locket and had it attached to my bouquet.  We also made a toast to him at the wedding.  
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  • mrszeno34mrszeno34
    First Comment
    edited April 2012
    I'm so sorry for your loss.
    I lost my dad as well.  For my wedding, I am planning on walking down the aisle to a song that had special meaning between the 2 of us.  It's my way of having him "there" for that moment.
    Just an idea.  Again, I am sorry for your loss.
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  • achiduckachiduck member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    I am so so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom to Cancer in 1998 and it was very hard. I would suggest taking a small break in planning to breathe and be able to grieve without the stress of the wedding.

    I am using some of my mom's favourite flowers in the wedding and am using her veil as my bouquet wrap. I've seen many girls who have lost their fathers tie his wedding ring to their bouquet as well. We will also say a special prayer during the ceremony. 

    If you need any support, please feel free to PM me.
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  • kitty02katkitty02kat member
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    TiffannieF has some wonderful information about how she remembered her mother at her wedding on her website. (http://tiffandjonny111111.weebly.com/) She may be able to help further. 


    So sorry to hear about your dad! 
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  • NE86NE86 member
    First Comment
    I am so sorry for your loss. My FI unexpectedly lost his mother last December and I know our wedding day will still be hard for him, as will for you. In memory of his mother we are placing a single rose in all the bouquets and the boutiners and corsages will be the same roses. At the reception I am making a memorial table with my FI's parents on their wedding day. I want people to remember her, just as I'm sure you want people to think of your father. Best of luck with everything. Just remember your father is in a wonderful place and you will feel his presence on your special day!
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  • sonya+adamsonya+adam member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I'm sending lots of good vibes your way.

    Did your father have a favorite hankerchief or anything? I've heard of brides sewing a piece of it onto their dress, or using it to wrap their bouquet.
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  • BrittneyRNBrittneyRN
    First Comment
    I just wanted to say that I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. Please take some time to grieve. Wedding planning can wait.
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  • cmhutchison22cmhutchison22
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    I am so sorry!  You and your family are in my prayers.
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  • cwaggoner07cwaggoner07 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I can't say anything that hasn't been said... but I am so so sorry, and definitely take a few weeks break from wedding planning. Allow yourself time to heal as much as you can, and don't feel guilty about putting it on the back burner.
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  • RailWayWifeRailWayWife member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Im so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you.
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  • gabriel0915gabriel0915 newb
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    So so sorry for your loss. I have not lost a parent but did lose my great grandmother who I was extremely close and never got to say goodbye. My thoughts are with you and your family. This is what I'm doing to remember her in my wedding.



    **I'm not doing the computer obviously, but I thought this was a wonderful way to remember her, and I can hang the picture up afterwards.
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  • misssunshine17misssunshine17 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    So sorry for your loss. Sending you lots of thoughts and hope. 
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  • dragontrainerdragontrainer member
    First Anniversary First Comment

    I'm so sorry about your father.

    Maybe use one of his favorite ties around your bouquet or if he kept hankerchiefs, maybe bring your favorite with you.

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  • Lori0413Lori0413 member
    First Comment
    I am so sorry for your loss.

    A friend of mine attached her father's picture to her bouquet and they made mention of it in the program.  The other ideas mentioned above are also lovely.

    Take the time you need to grieve until you are ready to focus on the wedding again.  I also strongly believe that he will be there next to you on your special day. :)
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  • transcriber87transcriber87
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_my-beloved-father-just-died?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:c88dd64d-eb5d-49a9-b7b5-3b824c3a4d20Post:d01bf57a-d915-4d9c-a87d-0eeb1e02be0a">Re: My beloved father just died....</a>:
    [QUOTE]So so sorry for your loss. I have not lost a parent but did lose my great grandmother who I was extremely close and never got to say goodbye. My thoughts are with you and your family. This is what I'm doing to remember her in my wedding. **I'm not doing the computer obviously, but I thought this was a wonderful way to remember her, and I can hang the picture up afterwards.
    Posted by futuregabriel[/QUOTE]


    I LOVE THIS!!! I lost my grandpa in July 2010 and then just 6 months ago in October 2011, my grandma who I was so close to! I thought about doing a memory table with their picture in a frame but now that I have seen this, I definitely want to put the picture in a chair for the wedding! Its an outdoor gazebo wedding with chairs surrounding it...This is a great idea and also so sad at the same time!
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  • janfosterjanfoster member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I'm new but I am so.sorry for your loss I also loss my father to cancer. I plan putting the American Flag they gave me and place it where he would have sat next to the bouquet of roses where my mom would have sat.
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