NEED ADVICE QUICK

jericamegan06 · November 2010

ok so one of my bridesmaids had to step out for financial reasons andddd..... i have a jr. bridesmaid... what do i do about the extra groomsmen? usher? or walk with jr. bridesmaid!! THANKS YALL

doctabroccoli · November 2010

Do not demote a groomsman to usher. Keep him as a groomsman. And no one says you have to have even sides. Do your guys and your girls really have to walk together? Ours aren't.

jericamegan06 · November 2010

ohh and the jr is 13

ichellemay1 · November 2010

Your sides do not have to match. I would just leave the WP as is.

Beachy730 · November 2010

She should just be a regular BM, she doesn't need to be a JR. And yes you can have the extra GM walk with her. Please don't demote him to usher because a BM dropped out.

DanielleZZ · November 2010

This happened to me and I decided to pair the extra groomsman with my jr. bridesmaid. : )

My Jr. is 12

Ash2985 · November 2010

Is your wedding today? Why is this such an urgent matter?

jericamegan06 · November 2010

it is urgent b/c the venue just asked me for a line up of everyone and we are having an engagement party saturday and i was going to "offically" ask everyone together with a gift!

ChickenOnSunday · November 2010

Just leave it as is.

doctabroccoli · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-advice-quick?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a59d9578-d127-4204-bc68-696404ef4dcePost:06537024-f165-4a12-8691-04e31dadd22f">Re: NEED ADVICE QUICK</a>:
[QUOTE]it is urgent b/c the venue just asked me for a line up of everyone and we are having an engagement party saturday and i was going to "offically" ask everyone together with a gift!
Posted by jericamegan06[/QUOTE]

Your venue confuses me.

Beachy730 · November 2010

So this is for your engagement party, not your wedding?

Ghoti · November 2010

Don't have a JR bridesmaid, just let her be a regular bridesmaid. Solves your "problem".

mgietler76 · November 2010

How can she drop out of she hasn't been asked? I'm confused by your post

emilyinchile · November 2010

The venue cares about your WP? And this far out? That is crazy talk.

Also, think about not asking people in a big group. If someone doesn't want to or can't be in the WP for whatever reason (budget, time, whatever), it puts them in a pretty awkward spot if they've got other people staring at them as they say "I'm honored, but no thank you."

jericamegan06 · November 2010

they have all been asked and said yes one on one, but we wanted to do something cute and special for them as a group!!

zippityb · November 2010

I went to a shower one time and they asked all of the bridesmaids to stand up and like, most of the room stood up and I felt like a loser for not making the "cut."

naomikb · November 2010

If they are walking down the aisle to the front together, then yes the GM can walk with the "Jr" bridesmaid. Often though the guys are at the front already, and the BMs walk down by themselves ahead of the bride.

I am also very confused about the urgency of this... your venue needs to know the order that they are walking in for your engagement party and you haven't even asked them to be in your wedding party yet and a girl has already backed out because of financial reasons??? These things cannot all go together.

jericamegan06 · November 2010

haha i am so sorry!! at the party it is just goign to be wedding party and grandparents... its mainly like a hey everyone get to know eachother party!!

and yes they do care obviously... they sent me an email and i have a meeting with the coordinator and she wants me to bring a list of all the vendors and the wedding party with first and last names! idk why, but i freaked out....

what if he doesnt feel comefortable walking with a 13 yr old girl....????? should i ask him what he wants to do?

doctabroccoli · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-advice-quick?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a59d9578-d127-4204-bc68-696404ef4dcePost:3f0e3482-3fab-4f02-b8da-d9cb21c8678f">Re: NEED ADVICE QUICK</a>:
[QUOTE]haha i am so sorry!! at the party it is just goign to be wedding party and grandparents... its mainly like a hey everyone get to know eachother party!! and yes they do care obviously... they sent me an email and i have a meeting with the coordinator and she wants me to bring a list of all the vendors and the wedding party with first and last names! idk why, but i freaked out.... what if he doesnt feel comefortable walking with a 13 yr old girl....????? should i ask him what he wants to do?
Posted by jericamegan06[/QUOTE]

As I said above, do the guys and girls really have to walk together? And I say again that your venue confuses me.

zippityb · November 2010

I walked with my sister's FIL down the aisle when I was 17. I was her MOH and he was the BM. I think he was like 60 something. It wasn't a big deal.

mgietler76 · November 2010

He just needs to walk with her, nothing else why would he feel uncomfortable? And like PP said the men are usually aready at the front and the BM's walk alone or meet halfway down the aisle ( I was in 2 weddings where we did that) I think your overthinking this.

Beachy730 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-advice-quick?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a59d9578-d127-4204-bc68-696404ef4dcePost:3f0e3482-3fab-4f02-b8da-d9cb21c8678f">Re: NEED ADVICE QUICK</a>:
[QUOTE]haha i am so sorry!! at the party it is just goign to be wedding party and grandparents... its mainly like a hey everyone get to know eachother party!! and yes they do care obviously... they sent me an email and i have a meeting with the coordinator and she wants me to bring a list of all the vendors and the wedding party with first and last names! idk why, but i freaked out.... what if he doesnt feel comefortable walking with a 13 yr old girl....????? should i ask him what he wants to do?
Posted by jericamegan06[/QUOTE]

I don't like WP dances anyways, but in this instance I would definitely skip on doing a WP dance. Walking down the aisle is fine together though. I know you didn't ask about the WP dance, but I'm giving advice on that anyways since you asked about the age difference. I was in a wedding when I was 17 and walked with a 35 y/o guy, and dance with him. We weren't asked to kiss or hold hands or date, so its not a big deal. Its just walking down an aisle at a wedding.

That seems early for the venue to want to know your vendors already if your wedding isn't until April. Haha I planned my whole wedding in 5 months though so what do i know. Mine only wanted them like a month before.

jericamegan06 · November 2010

17 and 13 is a big difference... and yes they HAVE to walk together... back down the aisle.....

Ash2985 · November 2010

17 & 13 isn't really that huge of a difference. I think they can deal with it for a short walk down an aisle.

DanielleZZ · November 2010

No you dont need to ask him if its okay. if her cares that he has to spend 2 mins walking up and down the aisle with a 13 year old than he is rude IMO.

I am the only one who wasnt confused by her original post?

PS I think its a great idea to have everyone meet. I wanted to do this but no one's schedules would match up : (

jericamegan06 · November 2010

thanks for the advice, but i just went ahead and called him, and he said he would feel uncomefortable walking with her, so he just wants to be an usher!!!

mgietler76 · November 2010

No your right dnbeach, my wedding is in March and I don't have to hand in anything until january. I think her venue needs the info because they might need it for the "something special" she wants to do for them at this party.

doctabroccoli · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-advice-quick?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a59d9578-d127-4204-bc68-696404ef4dcePost:faf113cd-f45c-4a5a-be8e-4c2469eb2db9">Re: NEED ADVICE QUICK</a>:
[QUOTE]17 and 13 is a big difference... and yes they HAVE to walk together... back down the aisle.....
Posted by jericamegan06[/QUOTE]

You could just have them weave - bm, gm, bm, gm, etc. But if they must walk together, then your junior bm's gonna have to walk with the other gm cause you cannot demote him since he's already been asked.

doctabroccoli · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-advice-quick?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a59d9578-d127-4204-bc68-696404ef4dcePost:e21d4ab2-4f85-41f9-90a2-35872e69c888">Re: NEED ADVICE QUICK</a>:
[QUOTE]thanks for the advice, but i just went ahead and called him, and he said he would feel uncomefortable walking with her, so he just wants to be an usher!!!
Posted by jericamegan06[/QUOTE]

*Headdesk*

mgietler76 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-advice-quick?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a59d9578-d127-4204-bc68-696404ef4dcePost:e21d4ab2-4f85-41f9-90a2-35872e69c888">Re: NEED ADVICE QUICK</a>:
[QUOTE]thanks for the advice, but i just went ahead and called him, and he said he would feel uncomefortable walking with her, so he just wants to be an usher!!!
Posted by jericamegan06[/QUOTE]

That makes no sense, I have a nagging suspicion that you demoted him.

Beachy730 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-advice-quick?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a59d9578-d127-4204-bc68-696404ef4dcePost:e21d4ab2-4f85-41f9-90a2-35872e69c888">Re: NEED ADVICE QUICK</a>:
[QUOTE]thanks for the advice, but i just went ahead and called him, and he said he would feel uncomefortable walking with her, so he just wants to be an usher!!!
Posted by jericamegan06[/QUOTE]

Does your FI know that you just demoted one of his GM?

There are other alternatives, like switching the order of GMs around so someone else walks with her.

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