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July 2010 Weddings

did your BMs come to your bridal shower?

Just wondering--is it weird if I sent a message back in Nov/Dec saying that the bridal shower was June 12th, and sent a total of 3 "wedding reminders" that included the shower date, and now a BM is saying they forgot about it and cant get off work?  I think it's kind of weird. .
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Re: did your BMs come to your bridal shower?

  • cbmtcbmt member
    Wow, where does she work that if she gives a month notice she still can't get off for at least a few hours.  I totally understand how you feel.  I felt that way about one of my BM who did not reply if she was coming until she told me I should have known she was coming so she thought she didn't have to RSVP
  • I agree, they should have been able to get off of work, but I'd seriously chill on wedding reminders.  They know when stuff is, and if they don't they'll ask.  There's no need to inundate them, you know?  It'll only make them NOT want to do stuff.
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  • edited May 2010
    Not all of my bridesmaids can come to my shower. Oh well. I would be more annoyed if she said she could be there, but then backed out...
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  • nyreknyrek member
    My bridesmaid is coming to the shower that she's helping my mom with for the

    But my FMIL decided to throw me one as well for her friends and family that live near her...so I do not expect my bridesmaid to drive 3 1/2 hours with us to come to another shower with a bunch of people she doesn't know.
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  • My bridesmaids are all sisters of FSIL's, and they aren't all coming to my shower.  My maid of honor isn't even coming my shower!  I can understand why you're annoyed by the lame excuse, but I don't think it's a requirement that BM's attend the shower.  The way I see it, they are already doing a lot for your wedding, attending the shower is optional. 
  • well if it makes you feel better my MOH isn't coming to my shower this weekend. I told my mom when when picked a sat. that my MOH wouldn't be able to do it (MOH is my cousin - there have been issues there) but my mother and other BM planned it that day anyway.  I can't be mad at her, but I am mad that her mother (my godmother and aunt) is not attending either. 

    I would be upset if my BP had that much notice and still "couldn't" make it.

  • Update: I learned that the "forgot" meant that she forgot to tell me she wouldn't be there because she says she can't get off work. . .
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  • Yeah I think if they had THAT much notice, I'd be a little annoyed too.

    I have three BMs and only one of them is in town. One is across the country and one is in SoCal (shower in NorCal). So my MoH, who is in town is coming. FSIL who is across the country is not.

    My BM is SoCal is going to try, but her niece's first birthday is the day after my shower and I told her she should go to that instead because my shower isn't as awesome as her niece's first birthday. She said they were both very important to her and wanted to both, which was nice of her. So she's going to try, but IDK. I won't be upset at all if she can't come. And her niece is so cute, I'd rather she go play with her!

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  • I'm only having three of my six BMs at my shower...I'm definitely a little bummed about it because we've rolled the shower and bach party into one weekend, but I understand that travel is expensive and taking time off of work can be a pain...so I've just told myself (many times) that I'd far rather they prioritize being at the weddin than at the shower/bach party!  It does sting a little bit, though, so I understand...but at least they'll all be there on the big day!  HTH!
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  • All of my BM's were at my shower, my sister worked it out with them so they could all be there. I get both sides. I would definitely be upset, but if she has to work that's important too. Sorry you're bummed :(

    But I hope you have an amazing shower! :)
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  • I definitely understand the point of "it's not mandatory" etc etc, but the fact is, I've never been to a shower where the bridal party didn't A) attend in full, and B) participate in hosting.

    As a BM I'd feel like a huge slacker for not being there, and completely left out of one of the main "duties" of a BM.

    That being said, there's only so much you can say or do in this situation.  Her job is her job, and you can't ask someone to jeopordize that for your shower.  Send her a note with the thank yous saying that youre thankful that she's a bm and for all she's done so far, and that you missed her.
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