Need to know if I'm being crazy or smart??

loves2shop4shoes · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_need-im-being-crazy-smart?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a16daa6e-2e8e-47a7-827f-8a89a2c6699cPost:202a694f-b698-4f5d-b5eb-63b4b9b70e67">Re: Need to know if I'm being crazy or smart??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Need to know if I'm being crazy or smart?? : I vote that Cate start posting her weekly menus and shopping lists when she creates them.
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

<div>Ok...we have a motion and a second. All in favor?</div>

calindi · November 2010

Haha... I usually shop on Monday nights, though sometimes on Sundays if I can get my act together.

I just made my menu and list... I'll start a thread.

SeaTea02 · November 2010

Cate, If you wouldn't mind sharing your template with me that would be great. YGPM.

leia1979 · November 2010

Maybe it's just because the cost of living is so high here that my perspective is skewed. If I only made $28k per year, I would be living with my parents. My $20k wedding budget is waaaay smaller than any of my friends' (most spent 2-3x that).

I make a decent amount now and still wonder how we will afford a house, which will cost at least $450k for a small three bedroom. This is why I'm focusing on financials.

To me, $20k in savings is the bare minimum. I'm also very risk-averse and financially conservative.

SeaTea02 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_need-im-being-crazy-smart?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a16daa6e-2e8e-47a7-827f-8a89a2c6699cPost:dce7a0ea-1e8b-45d4-919c-9c4516850969">Re: Need to know if I'm being crazy or smart??</a>:
[QUOTE]Maybe it's just because the cost of living is so high here that my perspective is skewed. If I only made $28k per year, I would be living with my parents. My $20k wedding budget is waaaay smaller than any of my friends' (most spent 2-3x that). I make a decent amount now and still wonder how we will afford a house, which will cost at least $450k for a small three bedroom. This is why I'm focusing on financials. To me, $20k in savings is the bare minimum. I'm also very risk-averse and financially conservative.
Posted by leia1979[/QUOTE]

I agree with you. The CA market was a little higher than where I live in NC (other parts are like dirt cheap). My sister makes about that and can't afford to live on her own. 450k would get you about 3500 sq ft here.

nottheonlydreamer44 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_need-im-being-crazy-smart?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a16daa6e-2e8e-47a7-827f-8a89a2c6699cPost:df439920-c9f7-485e-9273-5210001239d8">Re: Need to know if I'm being crazy or smart??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Need to know if I'm being crazy or smart?? : I agree with you. The CA market was a little higher than where I live in NC (other parts are like dirt cheap). My sister makes about that and can't afford to live on her own. 450k would get you about 3500 sq ft here.
Posted by SeaTea02[/QUOTE]

Yep. Cost of living is pretty low around here for the most part. Depends on where you live but I could not imagine being in California. I have a heart attack just thinking about it. lol. 450K here would get you into a sizeable home but not a huge mansion. Lord we have condo's going for 300k+ (which I think is insane).

I am not fiscally conservative but I am getting much better. Hopefully way better in the future. Dave Ramsey is attempting to help me out but sometimes I just don't want to listen. :)

OP - I'm glad you seem level-headed and I ditto Paige on the sticking around if you're not crazy. In response to the whole age thing - I stand by that statement. Every single person at 18-19 thinks, "they've experienced so much more than anyone else." We hear that a lot around here as an explanation on maturity. We've all had our fair share of problems and things that occured throughout our lifespan but age definitely does determine quite a bit. Who you are changes A LOT in that short span between 19 and 22-23.

You seem to heed advice well and that is a great attitude. The "younger" ladies on here have proven themselves to be mature and confident young women who are taking their time (for the most part). If you stick around, I hope you do so as well and I wish you the best of luck.

acl2012 · November 2010

Ya...where we're planning to live, the cost of living isn't the lowest, but it's definitely not as high as Leia's. The salary he'll make will be more than enough, and we could have a failry nice house for the cost we'd be able to pay. Additionally, the market is favorable now. But, he's also really good at finances and all that. His dad taught him very well, so I trust that when the time comes for us to get married we'll be set. But for now I'm going to take all of your advice and just enjoy our relationship and not worry about the marriage stuff until the time comes. =]

desertsun · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_need-im-being-crazy-smart?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a16daa6e-2e8e-47a7-827f-8a89a2c6699cPost:b3fed9a6-7a9d-4ce6-bf49-a233e91723e7">Need to know if I'm being crazy or smart??</a>:
[QUOTE]So, just a little background. I'm graduating from college this year and will be enetering law school in Fall 2011. My boyfriend and I have seriously talked about getting married and know that we are it for each other. We talked about getting married in the summer of 2012. We are not officially engaged because we don't want a long engagement, a year at most. However, I have started to kind of plan the wedding, but like tentatively. Like, I've been getting a feel for the costs and have the wedding party's dresses picked out and all that. However, nothing is ordered and nothing is booked, and nothing is set in stone. I just figured I want to have mostly everything picked out because I know that my first year in law school will be extremely hectic and I seriously doubt that I'll have much spare time to be planning a wedding. So, essentially I'm tentatively planning the wedding and will set things in stone once I am officially engaged. My SO is okay with me doing this, and he agrees that I won't have much time, so <strong>it is a pretty smart thing to have things basically picked out and know the kind of styles and such that I want, guest list, venue, etc., but I wanted to know from you ladies if you think it's smart or just plain crazy</strong>. So, I would greatly appreciate any advice on if I should slow my roll or exactly how hectic planning and executing gets so that I am prepared for that amongst my first year classes and such. I do ask, however, that comments about my age and such and your views on the timing of our expected marriage be kept to yourself as we have thought about it and discussed it with each other and feel this is the best course of action for us.<strong> If you disagree, I respect that, but I ask that you not bring that up in this thread. </strong>Thank you all!! AL
Posted by acl2012[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Please don't try to preempt potential disagreement. It's pointless. People will post whatever they want regardless. </div><div>
</div><div>Look at the responses to your poll. Clearly many people DO find it crazy to pre-plan like you're doing.</div><div>
</div><div>You've read the stickies. You know why we advise against pre-planning. Your situation doesn't make you an exception. You are not a special snowflake. No, it is NOT smart to do what you're doing. </div><div>
</div><div>If you want to wait for sex for religious reasons, then honor that commitment fully by not trying to have a wedding as soon as possible. I know several women who waited until 24 or older to lose their virginity, and NONE of them regretted it. You can wait too. It won't kill you.</div><div>
</div><div>Furthermore, you have NOTHING to lose by focusing on law school your first year and waiting on planning a wedding.</div><div>
</div><div>However, if you really just can't wait to get married, do something VERY simple. A courthouse wedding and small reception at a restaurant. </div><div>
</div><div>If that's something you're not willing to do, then you need to wait on your big traditional wedding.</div><div>
</div><div>And if you can't do that...you need to re-examine your relationship and figure out just what it is that you don't want to face and would rather fix by slapping a wedding over it. Alas, a marriage is not a relationship band aid.</div><div>
</div><div>JMO.</div><div>
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PandaBurr · November 2010

Eh.

Mutley, I think we both same the same thoughts on this, where ever you are.

bethsmiles · November 2010

I know that this has kind of died but I just wanted to comment on the we want to get married to have sex thing.

My BF and I are both virgins and plan to be virgins until our wedding night (We have been dating for over two years so come talk to me about how hard abstinence is in about a year and a half). The point of not having pre-martial sex is to WAIT for the right person and marriage not to hurry to the alter because you can't control your urges. My position is it would be better to have pre-martial sex than to end up in divorce just because you didn't want to wait for sex.

And I thought you were responding fairly maturely up until that point.

Need to know if I'm being crazy or smart??

Re: Need to know if I'm being crazy or smart??

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