To have or not to have??? AHR

tiggy5555 · May 2011

FI and I keep getting asked about an AHR. We both work at the same place and had we decided on a hometown wedding our invite list would have been near 300 people. Having a DW was a no-brainer for us. So now that people know we are going away and keeping it small with close family and friends they are bugging us about having a party when we get back.

So to those who had an AHR, could you have done without it?

breaness · May 2011

I say do it! You don't need to do something super fancy and formal. You can just have a cookout or barbeque if you want

I'm really excited for ours. Like Sarah has said before it's like the best of both worlds having the small DW and the larger AHR.

sld0618 · May 2011

I wrote to yours, but it's not showing up...so I'll write it again but I'm sorry if it pops up twice later on!

I'm so happy that I'm having an AHR! Yes, it's more money and planning, but everyone is really looking forward to celebrating with us. A lot of people are talking about it and it's nice to have that support!! The good thing is that you could do whatever you want for it! People have traditional, BBQ's, make their own up, etc. It's really just a celebration for you two!

shytownkelly · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_not-ahr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Theme%20BoardsForum:54Discussion:1abc436d-8a74-4855-beca-d5cf33fd5517Post:a69b1578-b3d1-4b32-9d60-ede83c375bfc">To have or not to have??? AHR</a>:
[QUOTE]FI and I keep getting asked about an AHR. We both work at the same place and had we decided on a hometown wedding our invite list would have been near 300 people. Having a DW was a no-brainer for us. So now that people know we are going away and keeping it small with close family and friends they are bugging us about having a party when we get back. So to those who had an AHR, could you have done without it?
Posted by tiggy85[/QUOTE]

I wasn't all that jazzed about having one - but the FI knew his family and friends wouldn't come to the DW. (Which they aren't - is that because they knew we would have a party later? who knows...)

So I'm planning it for him - and I'm sure we will have a great time. But I wouldn't have done one otherwise.

aukelly · May 2011

I have my own little soap box about AHR's. We are not having one but we also invited everyone that would have been invited to a home town wedding. We are paying for a wedding and reception in St Lucia so we are not paying for another one here. That is just our opinion though. Had we only invited immediate family my answer might be different.

Kayla&Brian412 · May 2011

HI! We aren't planning one for the simple fact that I didn't want to go out all crazy. We have gone back and forth with the FIL's about having one and in the end we decided no because we didn't want people that were willing to travel to miss the actual WEDDING because we'd be having a party here.

Between FI and I, his parents, and my mom...we all feel that if we're that important, you'll find a way to make it to Mexico and if we were 100% honest and cared about who did and did not see us get marred, it wouldn't be going to Mexico.

It's definitely a tough decision to make and I think you only know what will be right based on your familys thoughts and opinions! Good luck!

NZbride2011 · May 2011

We are doing without, and we don't have any problems about it. But that's just us. We will have video and photos for all of those who aren't going to be able to make it. It's sad that they aren't able to come, but it just really wasn't in our budget to do a AHR.

tiffhiam · May 2011

In Response to Re: To have or not to have??? AHR:
[QUOTE The good thing is that you could do whatever you want for it! People have traditional, BBQ's, make their own up, etc. It's really just a celebration for you two!
Posted by sld0618[/QUOTE]

I am having one because we didnt invite everyone to our DW so there was a lot of family and friends that couldnt come or didnt get invited.

but if you do have one I agree you can do whatever you want, we were just gonna do a bbq. But then I got a great deal on a DJ from craigslist, a hall and my family is just doing a potluck for the food. So I am really excited we decided to do it and so are all our family and friends!

kimmykupcakes · May 2011

We are having one. Just a backyard luau so it won't be too stressful or cost a ton, but it was still be a good time and give us the chance to include everyone.

tiggy5555 · May 2011

Yes this is a really tough decision. We are not inviting everyone to the DW which is part of the reason why we are leaning towards having an AHR. The thing that makes me not want to have one is the work and money that would go into it.

Since family who won't be attending want to celebrate we will end up having a bunch of get-togethers with them and with the different groups of friends. I think if we did an AHR we can sort of get it all done in one shot and get back to normal. I hope that doesn't sound rude LOL

I did find a cute little lounge were we could do late night snacks and have a desert bar for pretty cheap. It would be private and has video/audio hook-ups to show our video and photos. With the amount of people who would probably attend (100+/-) I think we'd end up spending about $2500 total. Not too bad but it would also be nice to just keep that in the bank

We def would not be wearing our wedding clothes....the only thing we might do is have more cake because I freakin LOVE cake lol. Also our first dance since the restaurant we are going to doesn't have room for it.

BLAH!!! I don't know what to do.....why is this so difficult???

mylittlekitty · May 2011

We're having one but not the whole sit down meal and decor thing. I wanted nothing to do with planning a big reception so we're having a dancing/drinking thing at a location that we got for $100. Inviting family and a few friends...with a measly 450-500 people invited. (Big families are a bit of a curse.)

I agree with PP. Do whatever you want and what feels right for your situation. It's your event, it's all about you!

To have or not to have??? AHR

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