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bridesmaids' hair & make-up?

heyimbrenheyimbren member
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in Wedding Hair, Makeup, & Beauty Forums
Hey all-

This is my first post on TK (but i've been lurking for a while now).
A bit of background:
I'm a bridesmaid in the wedding of a very close friend of mine.
We're young, so it's the first real involvement in a wedding for pretty much all of us (the bride and bridesmaids included) and so far the planning has been interesting.
She has 6 total bridesmaids, and one junior bridesmaid. So there's 8 of us total. Fortunately, there haven't been any big fights or drama between us.

My question is this:
(first, i'm well aware this is extremely early to be planning wedding hair/make-up, as her wedding isn't until May 2011. however, this is what she's interested in and wants to plan so thats what the bride has been asking for the bridesmaids' input on right now. i do agree, that it is too early however. and things will change. that's my disclaimer.)

Q: how do you feel about all of the bridesmaids having the same hairstyle?
I personally find it a bit strange that a bride would require that all bridesmaids have their professionally styled in the same style. But perhaps that is simply because I'm inexperienced in this area.
my friend (the bride) would like us to all wear our hair in an updo (bun or side ponytail) and have it curled with little braids pulling it back. she doesn't want us to wear our hair down because her hair will be half-up and thinks that will be too similar to hers.
but here's the problem: i have long hair (well past my shoulders, part way down my back) but i have LOTS of short layers. and bangs. so i'm not sure about that style on me. two of the other bridesmaids have shoulder length hair with layers. and then a 4th bridesmaid has a bob. cut to her chin. that won't work in anyway at all.
but my friend (again, the bride) has said that she thinks a good hairstylist can make a style stay put i.e. a good hair stylist could make my very layered hair stay in braids and the side ponytail for the day.
what do you guys think?

also... another quick Q:
there's a bridal package at my salon priced at $125 per person for: updo, makeup, and brunch in their bridal suite. worth it or not?

thanks ladies!
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Re: bridesmaids' hair & make-up?

  • waltzingmatilda13waltzingmatilda13 member
    First Comment
    edited June 2010
    Um, yeah, I think BMs with the same hairstyle is really dumb. You all obviously have very different hair and I don't think that style in particular would look good on anyone (at least not the way I'm picturing it in my head). I would talk to the bride about all letting you do what makes you feel comfortable. The only way she has a leg to stand on in this conversation is if she's willing to pay for all of you to get your hair done this way, and even then I still think it's a bad idea.

    And I think that package is a bit pricey. Most of my BMs did their own makeup and we had lunch at the salon. Again, if the bride is requiring hair and makeup and lunch together, she should be paying for it.
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  • jessiimae22jessiimae22
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    edited June 2010


    how young are you ?

    i do think its just to each person thier own ,

    i am a current bride-to-be & am not requiring my BMs to have thier hair all styled alike , but i am asking that they each have the same hair pin & fashioned in some way .
     
    if she wants you to all have the same look ,
    i certainly hope she's paying for it .
    or its at least reasonable
    you may ask her to reconsider the look
    & voice your concerns though ,
     
    but keep in mind .
    it is her wedding & what she wants ,
    will most likely happen .
    just be graceful , because one day you will be in her position.

    that quote does sound reasonable ,
    although ..
    im getting a package for 180
    that includes , trial & updo , trial & makeup , spa mani/pedi & massage .


    hope that helps !(:

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  • heyimbrenheyimbren member
    First Comment
    i'm 20 and my friend is (nearly) 19. (like i said, we're young.)

    she's not offering to pay. which normally i would be unhappy with. except she's picked out the bridesmaid dress (and matching shoes) and the total for them came to just under $80. and we had set a budget of $150 for just the dress. she talked to each of the bridesmaids and asked if they'd be willing to pay to go to a salon, and we all agreed since we were under budget on everything else.
    i want her to be happy with her wedding day, and i don't want to cause a fuss over something (that seems to be) so small. but i really doubt the hairstyle will work.

    she isn't requiring makeup at all. we had found the pricing for that, and she said she would just do her own makeup, but i was wondering what the going rate seems to be for something along those lines.
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  • mstar284mstar284 member
    First Comment
    Well to me it seems since your hair won't go into a certain style that the bride wants, obviously you can't wear it like everyone else. My sister has really short hair. She told me that she was growing it out for my wedding so she could wear it up. I told her she was crazy. Her short, funky hair makes her who she is. I would never want to force her into a cookie-cutter mold of what everyone else looks like. I would definitlely tell your friend that you don't want your hair that way. It's your hair! You know what looks best. I'm sure they would be able to get it all up, layers and all...but if you don't like it, you shouldn't have to do it that way. Just tell her. Show her pictures of what you would like. I hardly think she would pitch a fit. At least I hope she would be mature enough to understand--and if she isn't, she shouldn't be getting married.

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  • pooh8402pooh8402
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    1. I think it's stupid for bridesmaids to wear their hair the exact same way. yall aren't clones of each other, you are individual people. and individual people look good in different hairstyles. fine, straight hair is not going to do the same thing as thick, curly hair. all 5 of my BMs had very different hair types and haircuts; it would have been ridiculous for me to ask them all to fix their hair the exact same way.

    2. yes, I think that is really expensive, ESPECIALLY if she is requiring it. if she is requiring that yall get your hair and makeup professionally done, she should pay for it.
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  • fallbride1109fallbride1109 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    I would never ask my BMs to pay $125 for hair and makeup, under budget or not.  Even though in my area, that is not an insane price.  I paid for my BMs hair and makeup only because I thought it would be convenient and fun for us to have that time together, not because I was requiring it.  And we discussed it first--my sister wanted to do her own makeup so my MUA did my mom's instead.

    The bottom line is: if the bride is requiring a certain style, she should pay for the cost to have it done, period.  And the whole cookie-cutter bridesmaid look is very outdated, to say the least.

    It is very sweet of you to want to please your friend and if you are OK with the whole thing, great. But if she is sincerely asking for input, now is your time to speak up. 
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  • heyimbrenheyimbren member
    First Comment
    Thank you for the advice!

    Just to clarify, she never required the hairstyle or makeup. i'm not sure she even wants makeup. i haven't been involved in anything like this before though, so i wasn't sure what the going rates would be and was just curious about that.
    i don't think i'd say that she's "requiring" the hairstyle as we all agreed to go to a salon and have our hair done (sounds like fun anyways). but now she's looking up a style, and i just wasn't sure what the general consenus would be on that.

    but i really agree with what all of you are saying. i do want her to be happy, but i will speak up if i need to. i took a bit of mstar's advice and found a couple pictures that i know my hair will do easily. and sent them to the bride saying that i really like these styles and they're similar to what she was hoping for (curly, and an up-do) but that i wasn't sure if the other girls' hair would work with anything like that. so hopefully i can gently make that point to her.

    thanks again!
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  • 526SadieSadie526SadieSadie
    First Comment
    If the bride requires the same hair, nails, makeup, etc of her bridesmaids, she has to pay. 
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  • knj92107knj92107
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-beauty_bridesmaids-hair-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:358Discussion:244ef8ee-7c8f-4b22-950a-ddab28203209Post:5e64466f-5f2c-4695-875d-ff85dfc99e23">Re: bridesmaids' hair & make-up?</a>:
    [QUOTE] The bottom line is: if the bride is requiring a certain style, she should pay for the cost to have it done, period.  And the whole cookie-cutter bridesmaid look is very outdated, to say the least. It is very sweet of you to want to please your friend and if you are OK with the whole thing, great. But if she is sincerely asking for input, now is your time to speak up. 
    Posted by stephiehall[/QUOTE]

    All of this.  Honestly, if I was in a situation like this, I would do what the bride wants to make her happy BUT if she is asking for input, I would definitely speak up now.
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  • carethbcarethb
    First Comment
    I've been a stylist for 11 years, and I have to say that unless the same person is doing all of the hair, it will never be uniform. the style may be the same but depending on the texture and thickness, the same style on one person just doesn't look the same on another. As for a good stylist being able to make any hairstyle work on any type of hair/cut, well that is just BS. I've worked with some amazing stylists and been present to see some true masters work, and if you don't have enough hair or the "right" cut, then some styles just won't work. period. That is unless you want to get into the expensive world of extentions.
    As far as that price being expensive, it seems to be spot on, as far as I'm aware for the services that you'd be getting, but I think that it's probably relative to where you're located.
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  • Helen MilanHelen Milan member
    First Comment
    Okay... I'm a bride to be but I'm a little older probably and so my ideas about my wedding are a little less fussy. HOWEVER. I have been a BM four times (I'm closer to 30 than 20 okay? hehe) and I've learned that it is really the bride's day. Nobody is looking at you, they are looking at her, so just try to do whatever SHE wants, it's her big day, and you will want your own little quirks on your big day (if you decide to get married). Sure, I agree that six bridesmaids, all in a row, with the exact same hairdo is going to look boring and probably a little silly, but that's what she imagines for her day and you need to respect that it is her day and you have been chosen to be there for HER (especially as she is young and wants everything as she dreamt it to be). Good luck - I have tried to bend my friends on dress, shoes, hair and makeup in the past when I was a BM but believe me - focus on your friend (the bride) and she will love you after the wedding (and probably apologize in a couple of years for making you wear a silly looking dress with silly looking hair).
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  • Helen MilanHelen Milan member
    First Comment
    And BTW - if it doesn't work, the hairdresser will say so. If she tries and it doesn't work, well it doesn't work and if you look silly and she forces you to have layers sticking out everywhere, just let it all "fall out" after the ceremony and do your own hair in the bathroom!
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  • heyimbrenheyimbren member
    First Comment
    carethb - that's very true, there will obviously be some things that just cannot be done. do you know if hairstylists would do a sort of mini consultation for something like that? even just to have the bride go in and say "this is what i want for the bridesmaids- this is the hair they have. is it possible?" ?

    Helen - of course it's her day. i don't mean to come off as fussy about it, because in the end i will wear what she wants for her look. and because it's her day, i find it easier to do so and go along with it-because it won't matter that much to me in the end. i don't care about the money for it, and as long as i don't have to dye/cut my hair, she can choose. i didn't mean to come off picky :) but seeing as we have the time, i would like to be able to discuss the various options we could have when it comes to hair with the bride.

    thanks so much for the input/suggestions! i'm sure it'll go well :)
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  • acmj11acmj11
    First Comment
    Like you said it's not until May 2011.  Lots of time for hair to grow out or get cut, it's way to early to decide on a specific style.  If the bride is requiring it done a certain way (whether all the same or not) she needs to be paying for it.
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  • jessicaigelmundjessicaigelmund member
    First Comment
    well if the bride wants your hair a certain way she should pay for it. Also having everything completely uniform is over kill. I gave my girls the option to have their hair done by my stylist on that day or do it themselves. They got to choose the style that they were comfortable with.
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