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At odds with myself

fatkidandcakefatkidandcake member
10 Comments
in Chit Chat
So I don't know if this is where I post this but I'm looking for some input. 

My FMIL has been nothing but a horrible wench since FI and I got together, he was three kids and she has done everything in her power to turn them against us, spread ugly rumors about me and him through town, invited his Ex over for the last two thanksgivings and birthdays and never even so much as sent her own son a card. All of this she says is because she doesn't like the fact that we're living in sin. There is alot more to it but I'll leave it there, I promise that's the G rated version. 

Here's our dilemma, he has been estranged from her for the last year or so, and doesn't want to invite her to the wedding, I told him it's still his mom and I think we should at least send an invite (mostly because I know she won't come) I know he's hurting over this, his dad passed away 7 years ago and he's never got along with his step dad so as of now he doesn't even have any Family coming to the wedding just our mutual friends and my family...

It seems to me this isn't really a topic of discussion with him I really think he's put his foot down (which he rarely does only when super passionate about something) but I still don't think it's right to at least not send her an invitation...I don't really WANT her there, but I guess it's me wanting to be in good heart and state of mind...
What do you think? 
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Re: At odds with myself

  • jessienjeremyjessienjeremy
    500 Comments
    I see your point.. but if he doesnt want to invite her dont push the issue.  Maybe he feels like his wedding day isnt exactly the day to handle the family issues.  Hopefully eventually they will all work out. 

    Good Luck!
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  • ElleestJennElleestJenn member
    100 Comments
    I think if your FI is passionate and put his foot down (which you stated he rarely does) then you need to respect his decision whether you think its right or wrong. 

    Good Luck!
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  • SEWFSEWF member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    I would go with whatever your FI decides. If he doesn't want her there, don't push it. Besides, you don't want her to know where the ceremony is so she can cause a scene (and maybe bring the ex to help). This is his decision to make.
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  • heyimbrenheyimbren member
    2500 Comments
    It's your Fi's call. Don't push a sensitive topic.

    Honestly, I've been estranged with a family member for a couple years now. It would really bother me to have some try and convince me to invite them to the wedding. He may regret it later, and I think it was good you pointed that out. But leave it. If he really wants to change his mind, he'll do it on his own now.
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