Board is sllllooooowwwww today

hetshup · March 2010

WR: Where did you block rooms/ Where would you want to block rooms and why?

Not wedding related (and depressing): http://www.huffingtonpost.com/madeline-wheeler/cyberspace-bullying-and-s_b_447034.html

Thoughts?

katanne9 · March 2010

hahahaha, i've almost posted the same thing like 10 times.

I have 2 hotel blocks. 1 at a Mictrotel (it's brand new, and wicked inexpensive!) and another at a Ramada right on the lake, for those who want to be on the water and can walk into town (more $$). ... I also listed several more hotels and several B&Bs on our website as well in case ppl want something else.

Cyber bully - yes, since she's from MA I've seen a lot of her story in the news. It makes me very sad. I'll be making sure my kids know how to stick up for themselves. It's awful. She didn't need to die.

notquiteblushing · March 2010

My room block is the bane of my existence! The hotel is centrallly located and doesn't have a three night minimum so we picked it. Yet they've screwed up everything and now that the block is almost used up wants to charge our guests a hundred dollars more for the night if we add more rooms. I'm so over it.

tafft1 · March 2010

That story breaks my heart as someone who was abused , not just picked on through my entire school career. For me it was because i was overweight , go figure lol. But i endured things i wouldnt wish on anyone - i was even attacked after school that led me to dropping out before i did do something more drastic. It's not just about standing up for yourself though that IS important , the fact is everyone is teased and picked on , that is fine , but when it crosses the line something should be done to the ones causing the issues too. My late mom fought for months to transfer me to another school but was denied because there wasn't enough proof - even physical scars , bruises , witnesses and threatening notes were considered not viable or important in the descion. Stories like this still haunt me on a personal level..

bakes218 · March 2010

I heard about that bullying story this morning. Working in a school is so eye opening to the things kids do to each other. I think more parents need to teach their kids about having character.

noelle24 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_board-sllllooooowwwww-today?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1ac77496-b23d-42e5-ad04-854b5fa18439Post:49ae714c-864e-4ad4-8baf-3eb9bdf730b5">Re: Board is sllllooooowwwww today</a>:
[QUOTE] I'll be making sure my kids know how to stick up for themselves. It's awful. She didn't need to die.
Posted by katanne9[/QUOTE]

It's NOT a simple matter of this girl not knowing how to stick up for herself. Most kids don't get suicidal over just a little bit of teasing.

Occasional teasing, sure, everyone needs to know how to deal with that themselves. But when kids gang up in a group against one person... when it's constant harassment every day, all day... that's when parents and the school administrators need to step in.

I'm sick and tired of hearing the excuse "kids will be kids". That's a cop out. Kids will be what you teach them to be. If you ignore the bullying and excuse it as "kid stuff", then they'll learn that torturing another human being is okay. If you teach them that bullying has consequences, then they'll learn that it's not acceptable behavior and will not be tolerated.

katanne9 · March 2010

In Response to Re: Board is sllllooooowwwww today:Kids will be what you teach them to be. If you ignore the bullying and excuse it as "kid stuff", then they'll learn that torturing another human being is okay. If you teach them that bullying has consequences, then they'll learn that it's not acceptable behavior and will not be tolerated.
Posted by noelle24[/QUOTE]

When I say "know how to stick up for themselves" it's in every sense of the word and I stand by it. If this girl knew she was being mistreated and raised hell about it, this story may have ended differently. My children will learn to speak up and defend themselves, and who to go to. Too many people let harassment fall by the wayside. I'm feisty and scrappy, and anyone who messes with me with have to deal with the ramifications. In the least sense of the word, this child should have been taught enough to know when she needs counseling, which is also a huge part of this story. All of these things, IMO, are sticking up for yourself - legally, emotionally, physically, and pyschologically.

[Deleted User] · March 2010

The cyber-bullying stories were a big thing here - that story about the mom bullying a teenage girl on myspace who ended up committing suicide was close by here. Just plain insane!

hetshup · March 2010

Tafft-- I think this story makes me so mad because, while I was not picked on myself, I ALWAYS stood up to the bullies. They could pick on me, but I managed to be a total teachers pet and they would intervene pretty easily. Plus, I'm pretty outspoken, so people wouldn't mess with me. So I just don't understand why no one spoke up.

Kat and NQB-- how many rooms are you blocking and how many people are you inviting?

sapphirebaby926 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_board-sllllooooowwwww-today?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1ac77496-b23d-42e5-ad04-854b5fa18439Post:2877c76e-312f-4568-a7da-7455881ac037">Re: Board is sllllooooowwwww today</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Board is sllllooooowwwww today : I'm sick and tired of hearing the excuse "kids will be kids". That's a cop out. Kids will be what you teach them to be. If you ignore the bullying and excuse it as "kid stuff", then they'll learn that torturing another human being is okay. If you teach them that bullying has consequences, then they'll learn that it's not acceptable behavior and will not be tolerated.
Posted by noelle24[/QUOTE]

I whole-heartedly agree with this. My nieces are out of control and it's because they receive NO discipline - there are absolutely no consequences for their actions and my sister writes it off as 'They're 5 and 7! Kids don't listen at that age!"
Um...yes they do you've just taught them their whole lives that their actions don't have consequences so they have no reason to listen to you.

katanne9 · March 2010

Hetshup, hah! it's complicated! We're inviting over 200, expecting about 130-150 and of those expected about 80 people will be travelling. I think we blocked 20 rooms at each hotel. (which I think is far more than we probably need, but there don't appear to be any problems with blocking more than necessary)

sapphirebaby926 · March 2010

As far as room blocks I blocked about 30 rooms at the candlewood suites here in town. We had about 130 guests and a lot of them drove down the day of from Houston since that's where all their flights came in at. I think maybe 20 of the rooms got booked

PaigeMcC · March 2010

I read about this in the paper this morning. This is awful. The same type of situation happened here about 8 years ago. A boy (who was a close friend of my BFF's sis) was harassed so badly that he hung himself. It's always sad when you hear these things.

I know where you're coming from Tafft & Hetshup. I was bullied in 7th grade (cause let's face it the fat kid is an easy target) BUT I learned to stand up for myself and got pretty outspoken and in the end I won out. I used to stand up for my BFF all the time in middle school, as well. Once kid's learned I was loud and would call them out, they stopped.

Kids need to understand what to do in these situations and it's the responsibility of the parents to ensure that their children know what to do, where to go, who to talk to. Kids, like goats, are assholes. That's right....I said it!!! Kids between the ages of 13 and 16 can be some of the meanest people(...hormones and such!) but hopefully this story will get the attention of people and they will realize what can happen.

But the saddest part of any story like this is that it didn't have to happen. It never has to happen.

/end sad rant.

desertsun · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_board-sllllooooowwwww-today?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1ac77496-b23d-42e5-ad04-854b5fa18439Post:aa642607-3d5d-46fa-8620-e07176862319">Re: Board is sllllooooowwwww today</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Board is sllllooooowwwww today :Kids will be what you teach them to be. <strong> If you ignore the bullying and excuse it as "kid stuff", then they'll learn that torturing another human being is okay. If you teach them that bullying has consequences, then they'll learn that it's not acceptable behavior and will not be tolerated.</strong> Posted by noelle24[/QUOTE] When I say "know how to stick up for themselves" it's in every sense of the word and I stand by it. If this girl knew she was being mistreated and raised hell about it, this story may have ended differently. My children will learn to speak up and defend themselves, and who to go to. <strong>Too many people let harassment fall by the wayside. </strong>I'm feisty and scrappy, and anyone who messes with me with have to deal with the ramifications. In the least sense of the word, this child should have been taught enough to know when she needs counseling, which is also a huge part of this story. All of these things, IMO, are sticking up for yourself - legally, emotionally, physically, and pyschologically.
Posted by katanne9[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I agree with both bolded statements above. Too often we're taught that conflict should be avoided. What we need from parents, teachers, supervisors is to be taught how to deal with conflict and inappropriate behavior in constructive and effective ways.</div><div>
</div><div>There will always be people that belittle others, that play stupid power games, that get off on being cruel.</div><div>
</div><div>We're doing ourselves and our children a disservice by not paying closer attention to how to deal with these kinds of people and situations.</div><div>
</div><div>Bullying doesn't just happen in schools or among kids. Adults can be bullies, too. </div><div>
</div>

PaigeMcC · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_board-sllllooooowwwww-today?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:1ac77496-b23d-42e5-ad04-854b5fa18439Post:77b61171-8b08-4878-9f26-6252b58d7ace">Re: Board is sllllooooowwwww today</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Board is sllllooooowwwww today : When I say "know how to stick up for themselves" it's in every sense of the word and I stand by it. If this girl knew she was being mistreated and raised hell about it, this story may have ended differently. My children will learn to speak up and defend themselves, and who to go to. Too many people let harassment fall by the wayside. I'm feisty and scrappy, and anyone who messes with me with have to deal with the ramifications. In the least sense of the word, this child should have been taught enough to know when she needs counseling, which is also a huge part of this story. All of these things, IMO, are sticking up for yourself - legally, emotionally, physically, and pyschologically. Posted by katanne9[/QUOTE] I agree with both bolded statements above. Too often we're taught that conflict should be avoided. What we need from parents, teachers, supervisors is to be taught how to deal with conflict and inappropriate behavior in constructive and effective ways. There will always be people that belittle others, that play stupid power games, that get off on being cruel. We're doing ourselves and our children a disservice by not paying closer attention to how to deal with these kinds of people and situations. Bullying doesn't just happen in schools or among kids. Adults can be bullies, too.
Posted by desertsun[/QUOTE]

Agreed. With you, Kat, etc etc etc. Totally agree.

hetshup · March 2010

OK WR-- I am going to have 30 rooms blocked, 15 at the 79/night hotel with hot breakfast, and 10-15 at the 5 star hotel downtown within walking distance of the Alamo at 139/night. I hope that's enough considering we're inviting 220 and 90% are OOT, but already confirming that they are coming. SO MANY PEOPLE.

NWR- I think when I have kids, they will be taught to not only stand up for themselves but also for others. And you can bet there will be hell to pay if my child is bullying another.

noelle24 · March 2010

I was bullied in 7th and 8th grade. The more I stuck up for myself, the more crap I got. I tried going to teachers and was told "Kids will be kids... don't worry about it, they'll be working for you someday". Bullshit. If my mom hadn't been the type of parent to raise hell with the school administration, I don' t know what would have happened.

That's why it concerns me to hear people say "I'll just teach my kid to stick up for themselves". It's not just a simple matter of the kid confronting the bullies herself. As a parent, it will be your job to recognize when your child needs an adult to intervene.

Also, it seems to shift the blame solely to the victim. And I'm sorry, but if those kids were posting "We killed Phoebe Price" online the day after she killed herself, then they are sick, twisted excuses for human beings. And clearly this girl was in over her head and just "sticking up for herself" was not going to cut it.

Edit: I do agree mostly with what Kat and desert, etc. have been saying. It just seemed a little non-chalant to say "I'll teach my kids to stick up for themselves". It's not always that simple or easy, especially for a young teenager.

desertsun · March 2010

We blocked rooms at a Hilton resort. http://hiltonelconquistador.com/

It's less than a minute up the road from my venue, and they gave us an awesome rate of $99/night. Same price it would have been to stay farther away at less nice hotels. We're also planning to have our day after brunch there. I don't know all the details, though, b/c my mom, bless her heart, is taking care of the hotel block for me. But I'm suuuuper excited to stay here the night before and night of the wedding!!!

PaigeMcC · March 2010

Noelle - I get what you're saying. And I totally agree.

As parents people have to be willing to step in when it's something that the kid's simply can't handle on their own. I know a lot of times these things are written off as "kids will be kids" and as parents it's our (your, whoever's) responsibility to step in, when necessary, and make sure the situation is handled properly.

desertsun · March 2010

Noelle -- I totally agree with you. It is NOT the fault of the victim. But I feel like for teachers and administrators, it's easier to dismiss bullying than to deal with it b/c they themselves have not been taught how to appropriately handle conflict. Everyone wants to just push things under the rug and hope it goes away. So we all need to have strong role models like your mom who teach us that persistence and dealing with problems head on is always more constructive than just hoping it goes away.

I also think some legislation that promotes conflict resolution in schools is a great idea. Teachers/administrators shouldn't have to fear lawsuits when they discipline bullies. But you don't want too much protection, b/c I'm sure there are a few teachers out there who are sick fuucks. It's a fine balance.

loopy82 · March 2010

I have a block of rooms at the Bandana Sqare Best Western. The rooms are $89.99/ night. It is a pretty decent hotel and is super close to the state fair grounds (which the fair is going on during my wedding). It has a shuttle that will bring people to my wedding and we rented a van to shuttle people back to the hotel. I think I have 10 or 15 rooms in the block. So far there are 3, including mine reserved. I suppose I do still have 5 months to go, so we'll see.

katanne9 · March 2010

Noelle - I totally agree with you. It SHOULD be a given that a parent will dutifully stay atune to their child and step in to fight when necessary.

It makes me wonder what is going through Phoebe's mother's mind. If I knew my children were going through this, or any child for that matter, things would be a-stormin'

noelle24 · March 2010

Absolutely, Kat, abso-frickin-lutely. Those girl's asses would've been handed to them a loooong time before this.

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