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July 2012 Weddings
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FI's role in planning

Dayn070104Dayn070104
100 Comments
in July 2012 Weddings
How would you describe your FI's role in the planning?  I feel like I do 90% of the work and he tags along to appointments when I ask him too.  I wish he'd take a little more intiative on some things...i mean, i don't really need his help picking flowers or favors or anything, but there are some coordination things, like transportation, hotels, etc., that i would really like him to step up for! I can't be the only one experiencing a lethargic FI right? kind of annoying...just needed to get that out lol
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Re: FI's role in planning

  • Nati05Nati05 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary

    Ugh I just posted about the same thing. Small girly things I can take care of myself. Food, venues, music, photos, I cannot. FI doesn't know what he wants, some days it's 10% others it's 80%.... = not fun.

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  • AllyG303AllyG303 member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    My FI is surprisingly involved.  The whole wedding planning picture stresses him out, but he asks me to narrow things down and he wants to help pick everything.  Like for venues, I had to go to 20, then plan a trip where he saw my top 3 and he picked the final one.  Colors, he picked one and I picked one.

    It's great that he wants to help out so much, but he did tell me this weekend after yet another road trip to California that "he doesn't want to go anywhere for a while"...really??  We only have to pick out our florist, cake, DJ, officiant and everything other than the venue and guess what?  We have to GO THERE to do it. :)
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  • bells24412bells24412
    1000 Comments
    edited April 2011
    My FI is not a very good helper when coming to wedding planning. I had to scheduled all the tours for our venues. The one thing he had helped out with so far was the photographer, and we both mutually agreed on the DJ.
    For the most part we can't decide on anything because we are total opposites! Now that is a little frustrating.

    I hope your FI helps you out more it is definitely worth an extra hand. Goodluck! :)
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  • MadisonpennyMadisonpenny member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary

    HaHa, before he even proposed I told him that if we ever got married he would have a say in everything because it was his wedding too.. He's actually stepping up to the plate and calling people and making appointments, goes to every appointment with me and helps with all the decisions... Guess after reading some of the PP's I got lucky.

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  • fanciefacefancieface
    100 Comments
    I pretty much take care of 90% of the planning. I do all the calling, emailing, and appointment making. But I ask him for his input on everything. And he asks me about stuff and gives his ideas without me having to ask him all the time. He has gone with me to every apointment-happily. He helped me pick out flowers and we both agree on  everything. He turns on Say yes to the dress every Sunday and watches it with me- which I think is sweet :)    Even though he doesn't do the calling and looking into things, I get all the help I need with his imput, ideas, advice, decision making and the enjoyment we both get from talking about our wedding practically everyday.So I'm ok with "handling the details" as long as he's right there with me to finalize it all together.
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  • Bena29Bena29
    10 Comments
    At first he said you plan I show up but now he is a lot more involved to the point where we had to change all the colors because he wants one of his colors which is brown so now I get to pick the other color to go with the brown and he chose the cake (silly guy). As for venues and other things it has just bin me calling and emailing and making plans. I just tell him the date that we are going to the vendors and he says Ok babe ughhhh frustrating at times but what can you do at least we all know it's not just our FI it's mostly everybody's so I guess this makes it normal lol................
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  • littlemoments324littlemoments324 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    I'm kind of a control freak (but definitely not bridezilla...I promise!)  and he knows this so he just lets me do my thing.  He'll tell me if he wants to be a part of something or do something himself.FI helped decide on the venue and agreed with my on the photographer and the ceremony site.  He doesn't really have a say in anything.  But he will give his opinion if I ask him for it.  The only thing he really cares about is what he's going to wear and food.  Other than that he doesn't really care, but will voice his opinion if he doesn't like something.

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  • Heather WoodHeather Wood
    100 Comments
    OP...ME too!!! Same as you girlie!
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  • Heather WoodHeather Wood
    100 Comments
    Hey lil moments..saw your weight loss tracker moved, congrats!!
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  • mrsbunyipmrsbunyip
    500 Comments
    edited April 2011
    lilmoments, congrats on 6 lbs!!! :)

    Hubby doesn't call or email vendors or research; I do that part, and he shows up.  I'll show him a picture of an idea we could try, he gives me a yea, nay, or a joke answer (usually it's the joke answer).  The only thing he has told me he has to have is an open bar and karaoke.  That's all he cares about, lol.  

    He will watch Amazing Wedding Cakes with me, but not SYTTD anymore (used to).  I kept asking him if he wanted to do a groom's cake, and he kept saying it was a waste of money.  Well, he watched AWC with me last week, and he suddenly decided we have to have a groom's cake because they said it's a "Southern tradition," and his family is from Tennessee.  

    He gives me 10% one day, 30% another day, and then goes days without talking about the wedding.
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  • Kimberly0402Kimberly0402 member
    100 Comments
    My FI originally told me when we first started dating that I should just tell him when and where to show up and he'd be there. Flashforward to now and he's very involved and wants to make decisions with me.
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  • littlemoments324littlemoments324 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Thanks ladies!!!!  It was tough with all the eating out but I made it work!! =)
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  • bstentbstent member
    10 Comments
    I love planning things and DIY projects, while FI is much more laid back in terms of plans and is not one for crafts. I'm happy to do the organizing and planning, but want him to be as involved as he wants to be. He's very involved in the big decisions and comes along to meetings and appointments, but for the smaller decisions I usually pick my top choices and then ask his opinion. Personally his indifference doesn't bother me, as long as he continues to be there when I need him! My mom and my two sisters (maids of honour) are very involved, as are my three bridesmaids (two have planned their own weddings). If I didn't have that support, I would probably need FI to be a lot more involved.
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