The wedding party lineup

fickrj5 · May 2010

So Fi and i have been going back and forth about this and I am curious to hear what all of you are doing and what you think. We have 5 on each side of our wedding party. The order in which Fi has decided to put his groomsmen is very logical (in order from tallest to shortest after his BM who is 6"2) the others are all around 6 ft except his youngest brother who is only about 5'6 (but is still growing) and I agree with it, but we are not agreeing about my side of the aisle. My 5 bridesmaids range from 5" to 6" ft tall (I am also only 5"1). My MOH is the same height as me and I have another girl who is the same as well. Two of my bridesmaid are about 5"7 and the other is 6"1. I wanted to arrange my side of things from shortest to tallest as I think it would look funny to have 2 short girls, a really tall girl, and then have 3 more shorter girls. However, Fi thinks that it would look disporportioned and if we didn't the way that I want my tallest bridesmaid and his shortest groomsmen would be walking together. So I'm not sure what to do and I need to figure out my order because I have a few accessories I would like to purchase for my bridal party and where they stand depends on the color they wear.

So how are you basing your lineup?

jena.n.ross · May 2010

I was all set to back you up, and decided to do an illustration.

I made some assumptions about Matt's idea, and made sort of a pyramid. I think it has a bit more flow, though I DON'T think you should base the lineup SOLELY on the fact that ohs nos, his shortest will walk with your tallest for about a minute and a half. And he may not be that short for long, boys grow in spurts. Do it however looks best during the ceremony, that's where most of the pictures will be taken (and let's face it, that's what is going to last, not a memory of a short walk).

Is it impossible to get everyone together and try a couple things out (and take pictures)? You've got over a year.

MiniMin20 · May 2010

I really don't think arranging by height is that important. Your MOH should be next to you -- I think that's pretty standard. Arranging people by height may make people feel self conscious about tall or not tall they are.

I would just put them in whatever order you feel like. Maybe alphabetical order if you need to come up with an arbitrary organization.

FI's sister is his attendant, so on his side we'll have the best man, who's above average height, then his sister, who's short, then two tall guys. But making his sister be last just because she's short seems weird, since she's his sister, you know?

fickrj5 · May 2010

Thanks ladies! I have always felt like I could do it however I wanted, but everyone is telling me that it's not correct and what not and FI thinks it will look funny. But you know, you can't control the height of your party and we'll just have to work with it. I was just curious what some other knotties were doing.

MiniMin20 · May 2010

Maybe this is helpful? It's kind of noncommital...

Q.

What is the proper order to line up the bridesmaids and groomsmen? I was under the impression that you have them in the order of who is important in your life. Someone else said you put them in order by height. Which is right?

A.

This question is actually tougher than it sounds. The height thing is a matter of opinion, not etiquette. If it matters to you aesthetically, you may very well want to line people up by height. But the idea of lining up your attendants in order of importance -- the maid of honor (perhaps your sister) closest to you, then your best friend, then your cousin, and then your other two close friends -- makes sense too. The one weird thing about that is that all of these people are important to you, or else they wouldn't be in your wedding party. You don't want them to feel like the closer they are to you in line, the more important they are to you. And another thing: Even if you line people up by height, the shortest ones may feel that they are least important. See how this can get sticky?

Do the height thing automatically only if you care about it for the pictures. But approach the "you're important to me" thing with care as well -- you don't want any hurt feelings.

I personally am also considering each girl, at least for organizing my side. Like, I have one BM who I know would take it personally if she were last -- just because she's like that. If you have anyone who would feel like being last means being least important, then maybe don't put them last.

I also feel like the closer I get to the day, the less energy I have to think about this stuff. So part of my answer is just that I'm 3 weeks away and am just like, 'let's just do it and get it over with!' haha.

I've also started just doing what FI wants. I feel like I've overruled him on a lot of decisions, and finally I realized that I should stop micromanaging every detail. I also got tired of doing it! Maybe this is one thing you can let your FI "have," if he feels strongly about it.

GL!

The wedding party lineup

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