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HELP!! SIL Drama as BM

My soon to be SIL and I were friends, which is how I met my fiance. We have been closer at times than others, but the past year we have had major issues when it comes to maturity levels. It should be noted that she is having a lot of drama outside of the wedding like roomate situations and college struggles. My bridal party is all pretty laid back, besides her-- so there are some personality conflicts. However all the drama she is starting throughout the wedding process is getting exhausting and I'm not sure what to do.... For example, she asked the other girls in the Bridal Party to help do put on a Shower for me, but then when they gave her suggestions she told them she was just asking to be courteous and didn't really want their opinions. Needless to say my MOH (my sister) and other BM were angered by this. She refuses to have a dress fitting, because her dress fits "perfectly" (which I find hard to believe since we ordered them online). Not to mention she won't try it on for me. She also told my fiance she doesn't want to get around with us on the day of the wedding she would just show up when needed. Overall there have been numerous situations like this where there is becoming a large amount of conflict between the other BM, she and I, and my fiance and I.  It is like the other 3 ladies in my bridal party are all united and against her. I don't want my SIL to feel left out, but I'm exhausted from playing counselor. My wedding is in May, and I need a little more cooperation and think it would do more damage to cut her than keep her..... If i say something she freaks out and throws a pity party about how no one can ever be on her side... If I don't say something she will continue to carry on like this..... What do I do??!

Re: HELP!! SIL Drama as BM

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_help-sil-drama-as-bm?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:e77ade52-a62d-4c9b-a3c5-1501d4f07183Post:368d1031-fe2d-4239-b62e-53d177a2289b">HELP!! SIL Drama as BM</a>:
    [QUOTE]My soon to be SIL and I were friends, which is how I met my fiance. We have been closer at times than others, but the past year we have had major issues when it comes to maturity levels. It should be noted that she is having a lot of drama outside of the wedding like roomate situations and college struggles. My bridal party is all pretty laid back, besides her-- so there are some personality conflicts. However all the drama she is starting throughout the wedding process is getting exhausting and I'm not sure what to do.... For example, she asked the other girls in the Bridal Party to help do put on a Shower for me, but then when they gave her suggestions she told them she was just asking to be courteous and didn't really want their opinions. Needless to say my MOH (my sister) and other BM were angered by this. She refuses to have a dress fitting, because her dress fits "perfectly" (which I find hard to believe since we ordered them online). Not to mention she won't try it on for me. She also told my fiance she doesn't want to get around with us on the day of the wedding she would just show up when needed. Overall there have been numerous situations like this where there is becoming a large amount of conflict between the other BM, she and I, and my fiance and I.  It is like the other 3 ladies in my bridal party are all united and against her. I don't want my SIL to feel left out, but I'm exhausted from playing counselor. My wedding is in May, and I need a little more cooperation and think it would do more damage to cut her than keep her..... If i say something she freaks out and throws a pity party about how no one can ever be on her side... If I don't say something she will continue to carry on like this..... What do I do??!
    Posted by mrfk[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>1. You only need to hit the post button once.

    2. Your MOH and other bridesmaids can decline to help with a shower thrown by her if she won't accept their input. For that matter, you can decline her offer of a shower.</div><div>
    3. If she doesn't want/need to get alterations, you can't force her to. And she doesn't have to model her dress for you; she just has to show up in it on the wedding day.

    </div><div>4. She doesn't have to gallivant around with you pre-wedding. Again, her ONLY responsibility is wearing the dress and walking.

    </div><div>5. Yes, it would be bad to kick her out. You would be the bad guy and she would be justified in bad-mouthing you to anyone and everyone. So don't do that and don't try to force her to interact with you or anyone else on wedding matters.</div>
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