FFIL Rental---A bit shocked

fperez7542 · March 2013

FI and I went to make the package reservation for his tux and groomsmen. My dad and FFIL also want to rent a tux. We told them they can do as they like and whatever color they like too. We put in a note on their name at so they could pick whatever. Well today I went to get my dad measured and the lady said "oh thats great everyone is done" I thought to ask the lady what FFIL picked for his tux. She said "oh he picked the same tux, vest, colors and tie as the groomsmen" All I said was "what?"

Of course I plan on speaking to FI but that just threw me off. Personally never seen this, heard of this or thought either fathers would do this. Just wanted to vent a little and possibly hear if anyone had this happen?

nda8414 · March 2013

Why is that weird? You told him to pick whatever he wants. What did your father choose?

fperez7542 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ffil-rental-a-bit-shocked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5a5791ac-36c0-418c-9eea-565867725a16Post:b7cac3d1-a7b4-423f-83fa-51efa49c7fcb">Re: FFIL Rental---A bit shocked</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd leave it be. I think it is weird that he picked the same as the GM, but he probably just wanted to match the WP, thinking that is what FOGs do.
Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

<div>I'm mentioning it to FI and letting him figure it out. I just find it odd that we told him pick a black, grey, basically anything. We told him the day we went to create the package and he was present and right next to FI.</div>

Loopyseven · March 2013

He probably thought he should match the WP. There won't be many (if any) pictures with the parents and the WP, so I'd just let it go.

lyndausvi · March 2013

My dad wore the same tux as the GMs at all my siblings weddings (we didn't have tux). Although I think he wore a black tie at 2 of them instead of the same color. I didn't know it was a problem.

I would leave it be. If it really bothers you maybe suggest black ties/vest in order to match his wife (or SO) better. I would not push the issue though.

fperez7542 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ffil-rental-a-bit-shocked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5a5791ac-36c0-418c-9eea-565867725a16Post:e4f46946-7c4b-491c-9a13-96f8f6834af8">Re: FFIL Rental---A bit shocked</a>:
[QUOTE]Why is that weird? You told him to pick whatever he wants. What did your father choose?
Posted by nda8414[/QUOTE]

<div>The lady gave him a catalog and he picked a black tux with a grey vest. My dad and mom even found it weird that FFIL picked the groomsmen tux. I guess I just thought he wouldn't go with the GM tux. Its not a huge deal , just surprised.</div>

STARMOON44 · March 2013

I don't see a problem. There really isn't much variety in tuxedos, so I doubt it will look startling to anyone. Although I've also never heard of a gray tux . . .

fperez7542 · March 2013

Maybe it is me. I've been in a few weddings, both in the WP and as a guest and I just haven't seen it. Its not a big deal. Like I said, I guess since I haven't seen it I was a bit surprised.

I don't know if FI parents have gone to many weddings because certain things they've done or said have caught me off guard. Things like;

1. FMIL said "I'm bringing Pina Colada to the wedding" Then when I say we have open bar FMIL said she would just put it under the table in a cooler in the reception.

2. Also, that our cake better be from our local place because people only come to eat cake and if its bad they are going to talk about the whole wedding.

Not mad or anything just a wow factor for me

ootmother3 · March 2013

I guess I'm missing something here. My EPost sayss that the FOG generally follows the dress code indicated by the groom.

libby2483 · March 2013

I really don't think it's a big deal. He probably thinks he is just keeping things simple by matching the GMs, and perhaps he even thought that you guys would want him to match. Our dads wore the same tux and vest as our GMs, but they just had different ties and pocket squares. FWIW, I only remembered this when I looked back at a wedding photo. That's how little it will really matter in the grand scheme of thing.

Andama08 · March 2013

My father has asked to do the same. He says walking me down the aisle means he is apart of the wedding party. I told him he doesn't have to wear the same thing as the Groomsman or anyone else, but he wants to feel "apart" I guess. I have bigger things to put my energy into so if he wants to match everyone else I'm not going to tell him he can't.

nda8414 · March 2013

I think you're stressing over something that doesn't matter, no one is going to notice or care what he wears

fperez7542 · March 2013

Since I've never seen this in person I was surprised. That is all. I told FI and he was confused too. We decided not to care of it. It is Just different. I figured I'd post here to see if other brides had parents in laws or their own father wear the same tux as the wedding party. Didn't mean to sound silly, just surprised he picked that. Mean while my dad didnt think to go with the same. But no biggie.

fperez7542 · March 2013

Not stressing. Just one of those moments you thought would go your a different way and then you ask and its a different thing.

nda8414 · March 2013

I don't think you're silly...I'm probably currently stressing over 10 things that don't matter. It's just what planning a wedding does to us. If it makes you feel any better, everyone will just be looking at you and your beautiful dress!

StephJean83 · March 2013

At my sisters' weddings the dads matched the GMs. Actually at my younger sister's wedding, every guy, groom, BM, GMs, both dads and ushers and RB had the exact same tux, vest and tie. At my older sister's wedding, the groom, the BM and GMs and RB had purple ties, the dads had ivory ties. Most weddings, the dads match with either a different color tie or match completely.

fperez7542 · March 2013

Thank you you're right :....I know I'm probably over thinking a few things too. I'm sure they wilk become less and less important as the days pass :

fperez7542 · March 2013

Steph, good to know. never seen it, but good to hear it happens often. Thanks!

StephJean83 · March 2013

I will say, if your FMIL plans on bringing in alcohol and hiding it under her table, warn her if someone from the venue sees it, they will ask her to leave. All venues we looked at said that anyone bringing in outside food/drinks, except moms of young kids, they would be asked to leave. Maybe talk to the venue about having that as a special drink, especially if that is her favorite drink.

jennyd412 · March 2013

At my sister's wedding the fathers matched the gm. At mine they will as well. gm and dads will wear silver vests under black tux. Groom and RB will wear black tux with white vest. I think it looks fine. Mens wear house actually suggested this.

fperez7542 · March 2013

Stage, I wasn't surprised that it was grey a common color. I was surprised that it was the dark grey, coral vest and coral tie. maybe I wouldn't be surprised if it was just the grey tux.

hoffse · March 2013

Both our dads are renting the same tuxes - they have different color ties though. We're doing coral and yellow - the groomsmen and bridemaids are in the coral color. FI, me (with a sash), the moms (through corsages) and the dads have yellow. It's sort of a joining of families thing for us, but the dads match other than the color of the ties. We didn't have a preference, but they both wanted it that way, so that's what they are doing. Completely fine.

loca4pook · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ffil-rental-a-bit-shocked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5a5791ac-36c0-418c-9eea-565867725a16Post:1b9fefc0-466a-4f57-bdee-4b72b3884e4f">FFIL Rental---A bit shocked</a>:
[QUOTE]FI and I went to make the package reservation for his tux and groomsmen. My dad and FFIL also want to rent a tux. We told them they can do as they like and whatever color they like too. We put in a note on their name at so they could pick whatever. Well today I went to get my dad measured and the lady said "oh thats great everyone is done" I thought to ask the lady what FFIL picked for his tux. She said "oh he picked the same tux, vest, colors and tie as the groomsmen" All I said was "what?" Of course I plan on speaking to FI but that just threw me off. Personally never seen this, heard of this or thought either fathers would do this. Just wanted to vent a little and possibly hear if anyone had this happen?
Posted by fperez7542[/QUOTE]

When we did tuxes, Father of B and G were included in our choices so we picked it out for them along with groomsmen since they are part of the weddng party. Perhaps that could have solved the issue.

in the longrun, I dont think it is that big of a deal. I am sure he had no idea what to choose, so figured matching them wast he smartest idea...

krose83013 · March 2013

My father did exactly the same at the groomsmen. He asked me if I cared after and I honestly had no preference. I told him as long as he's comfortable he's fine. My mom on the other hand originally told me she wanted my dad to coordinate with her dress. She hasn't bought one yet, wedding is 8.31.13, so she's got time. Either way its not a big deal to us. FFIL doesn't care about the colors just as long as he can have a bowtie. I figure if they are paying they can decide.

mom23jv · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ffil-rental-a-bit-shocked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5a5791ac-36c0-418c-9eea-565867725a16Post:41dc42dc-de58-4a5b-95c0-dae6c090e6c7">Re: FFIL Rental---A bit shocked</a>:
[QUOTE]Maybe it is me. I've been in a few weddings, both in the WP and as a guest and I just haven't seen it. Its not a big deal. Like I said, I guess since I haven't seen it I was a bit surprised. I don't know if FI parents have gone to many weddings because certain things they've done or said have caught me off guard. Things like; 1. FMIL said "I'm bringing Pina Colada to the wedding" Then when I say we have open bar FMIL said she would just put it under the table in a cooler in the reception. 2. Also, that our cake better be from our local place because people only come to eat cake and if its bad they are going to talk about the whole wedding. Not mad or anything just a wow factor for me
Posted by fperez7542[/QUOTE]

I can understand where that would have been a surprise for you.
Sounds like ur FI father most likly choose very quickly. Could you suggest a slight change for his text.<font color="#ff0000">He is the Father of the Groom, you want him to stand out not blend in with ur WP...</font> Try that see if it works out for you.
GOOD LUCK!!!!

Cyndu

marissaanne27 · April 2013

HAHA that is so funny.. I had the same issue. My finace and I did our research on tux rentals and fianlly picked a place and what we wanted our groomsmen to wear. We went to my future in laws that night and told them about it. My future mother in law goes "oh thats great your father looks so nice in a grey tux." I immedidately said " what do you mean?! He isnt wearing a grey tux! Just the bridal party is." She argued with me and my fiance for a while but then i went to tux place and told them only the bridal party is allowed a grey tux. The rest have to wear black but can have whatever color vest and tie they want. GOOD LUCK!

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ffil-rental-a-bit-shocked?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5a5791ac-36c0-418c-9eea-565867725a16Post:1b9fefc0-466a-4f57-bdee-4b72b3884e4f">FFIL Rental---A bit shocked</a>:
[QUOTE]FI and I went to make the package reservation for his tux and groomsmen. My dad and FFIL also want to rent a tux. We told them they can do as they like and whatever color they like too. We put in a note on their name at so they could pick whatever. Well today I went to get my dad measured and the lady said "oh thats great everyone is done" I thought to ask the lady what FFIL picked for his tux. She said "oh he picked the same tux, vest, colors and tie as the groomsmen" All I said was "what?" Of course I plan on speaking to FI but that just threw me off. Personally never seen this, heard of this or thought either fathers would do this. Just wanted to vent a little and possibly hear if anyone had this happen?
Posted by fperez7542[/QUOTE]

FFIL Rental---A bit shocked

Re: FFIL Rental---A bit shocked

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