Hi all! I've been lurking for a while and finally got the guts to register and ask for some advice on handling my best friend, who, incidentally, has somehow morphed into an extremely rude bridezilla. And I'm not using the term flippantly. I wish I was.
This girl and I go way back. A good two decades. She's always been cool.
Two months ago she got engaged.
First problem cropped up immediately after the two got engaged. We'd all - as friends, including a few other people - organised dinner for my partner's 30th. Partner and I arrive at the restaurant I received a call from her, telling me that there was no way she was coming to the birthday dinner. I said no problems - assumed it was just work getting in the way as usual.. told her i'd pass the msg on that she was working.
This was where I found out she was engaged - and that I was a bridesmaid - by her responding and telling me that I was completely wrong.
After all, she was now engaged, and she didn't have time to come to a birthday when she just had so much to start organizing. I congratulated her. She said that since we'd been friends for so long that I was bridesmaid. Cell phone died halfway through convo. Oops, my bad. I did call her the next day though.
The second strike concerns invitations.I work in a stationary store that specializes in wedding invites. I'm studying at the moment, am on limited pay, and I told her from the outset I'd love to pay for all but can only pay for half of her wedding invitations, but it'll be part of the wedding present. But I wouldn't be able to make samples until all assignments were done. She said it was okay.
It was fine for the first three days. I and the other half were woken up at midnight by her calling me to tell me that she was disappointed that I wasn't more excited for her wedding, and that she needed samples within the next week. I told her to stop being a d*ck about it - of course I was excited. But I was tired.
I've been distant due to study and work commitments, and that I'd make it up to her, have a girly lunch thing, show her that I do give a f*ck about it, and to kinda say sorry that I've been so distant. And that we'd talk it over.
To cut this ever-growing long story short, the talk still hasn't happened. She refused to say anything during the lunch. Every time I try and ask her wtf is going on, she changes the subject. She's also now taken to ending any question to me with either a snide remark about how she shouldn't ask me as I'm probably too busy to care.
The MoH reckons that she's feeling pressured because in bride's opinion, I've got my life in order - studies, car, work, and everything is finally going right, and that she's feeling like I'm ignoring her for my own life.
I guess my question is this; do I tell her to find a new bridesmaid to save our friendship? Do I pull her up on her bad behaviour and hope that she gets back to being who she is again? Or should I just go 'f*ck it' and walk away from it all? I'm at the point where as much as I don't want to lose my best friend, I don't want to be someone's whipping bint.