Intro and of course - a question

soontobeamrs2012 · August 2012

Good Morning OBX Brides.

I have been engaged for a few years now and really do think it's time to take the plunge and make up my mind about what I really want in a wedding. I have been so back in forth with a destination wedding to a wedding at home, etc. For someone who is very indecisive, all these wedding choices are KILLING me!!!

We live about 6 hours away from the OBX. We are close to Baltimore. My question is - do you think it's weird to send out a sort of questionaire (for lack of a better word) to see who would be interested in attending a wedding in the OBX, if that's where we decide to plan it.
I really have no clue where to even start looking/planning, because I have no idea what our group size would be if we did do a destination wedding.

Feedback on how to determine an estimate of people that would probably attend???

Thanks. I have loved stalking this board for quite awhile, praying now that I can either make a decision to commit or go home to my local - not so active - board.

Thanks again ladies! I'm truely in love with all your plannings for your big day!!!

LaughLines · August 2012

Hello and Welcome!

I understand where you are coming from - we live about a 4 hour drive from OBX. We were pretty set on this location from the start, but at times I had inner doubts - how could I really ask our friends to drive all this way, pay for a place to stay, etc., when we could have gotten married 10 minutes from home?

About asking guests ahead of time... just be prepared to be confident in your decision. For example, if you ask "would you attend an OBX wedding" and 50% of the people say "probably not", are you OK going ahead with having it down here, or will you always have in the back of your mind "I wish so-and-so were here" or "so-and-so came, but they voted 'against' so are was this a burden for them?"

I think in many ways, no matter where you have your wedding, there are certain decisions you make that others could question (why is it there? at that time? with that menu? etc etc etc) so one thing I learned early on is the mantra You Can't Please Everyone. In the end (and, really from the beginning!) you have to do what is right for you and FI!

I can share my RSVP numbers with you if that would help, though I am not sure how much they would translate from one wedding situation to the next. But I'm happy to do so!

jendem8 · August 2012

Welcome!

I highly agree with LaughLines. You probably do not want to start asking for people's opinions. You need to choose whatever makes you and your fiance the happiest. If you want to have a conversation with your closest friends/family, that's one thing, but to put it out there for everyone could just be a disaster. If you choose to go the destination route, then just make sure to send out save-the-dates early! You definitely cannot please everyone, so you need to be happy with your decision.

As someone who recently got married in the OBX and had lower numbers than anticipated - I wouldn't change a thing.

soontobeamrs2012 · August 2012

Thanks ladies.
Your "words of wisdom" are great and much appreciated!!!

I'll keep you posted on our decision!!!

seashells12 · August 2012

Hi Welcome to the OBX board! My daughter was married on June 24, 2012 in Duck. We too live near Batimore...in Howard County. My daughter always knew she wanted to have her wedding in the Outer Banks, so that was an easy decision. First you need to make a guest list and decide where you would like to have the ceremony and reception. When we reviewed the guest list we had a fairly good idea of who would and would not attend (based on we knew their vacation history). We knew we had a baseline of appoximately 125 that could possibly attend. So then we started looking at places that would accomodate 125 people. I think the guest list actually was around 140. We took 18 months to plan the wedding. My daughter was engaged in December 2010. From January 2011 to June 2011, we worked on choosing the date (there were a lot of teachers, kids in school and in college on the guest list so we knew we had to look at a date in mid to late June), we did the the guest list, chose the location for wedding ceremony and reception and hired the wedding coordinator/ planner and the florist/ decorator. The wedding and ceremony was at an event home Grande Ritz Palm. We had that book by March 2011. Going into the planning we knew there would be family and friends that may not be able to attend due to the cost and having to take off from work. We had to be accepting of that fact and plan the wedding that my daughter and son-in- law wanted. Like previous posts have said you just can not please everyone. We sent out the Save the Dates 11 1/2 months before the wedding date. This gave everyone plenty of time to make a decision if they would be able to attend. Everyone had the chance to decide if they wanted to make the wedding a vacation week or a long weekend. My daughter and son-in-law also had their wedding website up and running when the Save the Dates were sent out. The website included two hotel information choices and realty companies for anyone wanting to rent homes. Once the save the dates were out, the conversations were easier to have if people were going to be able to attend. Plus I think our guests very much appreciated having almost a full year to plan and save money so that they could attend. The invitations were sent out the beginning of March 2012 with an RSVP date of late April. This gave us some wiggle room, when we received the early regrets if we wanted to add any guests that were not on the original list. Mainly coworkers of my daughter and son-in-law. There were 96 people at the wedding (including the wedding party). 49 of us made a week long vacation out of the wedding. Everyone else made it an extended weekend. The wedding was on a Sunday. The Grande Ritz Palm rents from Friday to Friday. It truly turned out to be the perfect wedding that Kim and Mike wanted! And everyone attended that we really wanted to share and be part of the wonderful celebration!! There are no regrets about having the wedding in the Outer Banks instead of Maryland! We were really glad we had a week to celebrate instead of just one day! I know this post is long but hope it was helpful! I had SO much fun researching and helping plan my daughter's wedding! Just want to help future brides and mother-of-the-brides! :-) Peggy

TKzilla · August 2012

If you find that a lot of people cannot attend your OBX wedding, you could always have a wedding and reception in the Outer Banks and then throw a reception/party back home, too (if your budget will allow)

Congratulations!

SassyToez · August 2012

I wouldn't think a "questionnaire" would be necessary. Believe me, if people love you they will go wherever you want them to go to watch ya'll get married. To be honest, we had a lot more people RSVP that YES they were coming than we even thought, At this point, we're gonna have around 100 guests, give or take a few and I was really only anticipaing 80 MAX... and we live 7 hours away!

OBX2011 · August 2012

I agree with PP's 100%.....great advice ladies!

Intro and of course - a question

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