Moms and Maids

Absent MOH

My MOH is my best friend since seventh grade - we've always been really close and as soon as I got engaged she was the obvious person to ask to be my MOH. Ever since then, though, it seems like she's completely MIA. I've tried to talk to her on Facebook, call her, text her, etc (we live in different states now) and on the rare occasion that she does respond, it's usually one reply and then never again. I know she's busy, but I still see her talking to other people on Facebook all the time, so I can't help but wondering if she's just ignoring me. She doesn't respond to wedding stuff (all of my BMs are in different states so I contact them all through a group post on Facebook whenever I need to talk to them) which is making it really difficult to plan anything involving my bridesmaids, and I don't know if it's because I'm getting married and for the first time since we met, she's been single for more than a couple of months. Because of that whenever I try to talk to just her I keep it wedding-free, but she doesn't respond to that either.

Does anyone know what I should do? She never gave me a reason to think she would ever act like this before, and I can't find out what's bothering her if I can't get her to talk to me. I know you're never supposed to "fire" your MOH and that's really not my goal, but I don't know how to get my friend back or how to making sure my BMs are all on the same page if my MOH won't talk to me.

Re: Absent MOH

  • How about calling her and not talking about anything wedding related?? Your have a friend problem, not a bridemaid problem. All she needs to do for your wedding is show up and wear the dress. 

    Your wedding is a year away, to you, that is so soon and so exciting, so her, it's still a year away so she doesn't need to worry about it yet. 
  • edited May 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_absent-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:7f53d236-3ab6-4f39-81d2-416ae57b1eb9Post:a85ea827-bca3-4fb5-9a8d-82ce2ee3d9e1">Absent MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]My MOH is my best friend since seventh grade - we've always been really close and as soon as I got engaged she was the obvious person to ask to be my MOH. Ever since then, though, it seems like she's completely MIA. I've tried to talk to her on Facebook, call her, text her, etc (we live in different states now) and on the rare occasion that she does respond, it's usually one reply and then never again. I know she's busy, but I still see her talking to other people on Facebook all the time, so I can't help but wondering if she's just ignoring me. She doesn't respond to wedding stuff (all of my BMs are in different states so I contact them all through a group post on Facebook whenever I need to talk to them) which is making it really difficult to plan anything involving my bridesmaids, and I don't know if it's because I'm getting married and for the first time since we met, she's been single for more than a couple of months. Because of that whenever I try to talk to just her I keep it wedding-free, but she doesn't respond to that either. Does anyone know what I should do? She never gave me a reason to think she would ever act like this before, and I can't find out what's bothering her if I can't get her to talk to me. I know you're never supposed to "fire" your MOH and that's really not my goal, but I don't know how to get my friend back or how to making sure my BMs are all on the same page if my MOH won't talk to me.
    Posted by Beebopalooa[/QUOTE]


    Have you tried to talk to her about anything other than the wedding? She might be pulling away if that is all you are focusing on. I would suggest to be her friend and ask her what is new in her life and refrain from wedding talk for the time being. Are the rest of your bm's still communicating with you?
    Marrying my first love and best friend! Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited May 2012
    She doesn't answer my calls, and whenever I text her/message her on Facebook I've just been asking her how she's doing without any mention of the wedding just for that reason. If I get a response at all, it's once and then never again. The rest of my BMs are still talking to me - even my FSIL talks to me regularly, and neither of us is the other's favorite person lol.
  • I think you can say flat out, "Friend, you've seemed a little distant recently. I was wondering if you were okay and if we could get a time to catch up?"
  • I think I would ask her why she has seemed so distant from you? Maybe ask her if you said or did something to upset her? Maybe she is just really busy right now.
    Marrying my first love and best friend! Wedding Countdown Ticker
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